To never fit in.

404 24 10
                                    

I can't take it anymore. No one wants to claim the white skinned, Cherokee, muslim girl. Let me explain. I was raised mostly Cherokee. I can hunt, fish, I know what I can and can't eat in the forest. I can kinda speak Cherokee. But the Cherokee nation refuses to accept me because I have white skin, blonde hair, blue eyes. Same with some muslims. I don't fit the profile. The damn white people won't accept me because I'm a muslim and I have Cherokee blood.

IT'S MADDENING. I keep crying myself to sleep. I wanted to talk to my fiancé about it but he's mad at me. So I'm telling hundreds of strangers. I'm a freaking mixed blood. I'm sorry I don't have black hair, brown eyes, and dark skin. Maybe if I did I would fit in somewhere. But I don't. I have what God gave me. He put me in this situation because he knows I can handle it. But there are times when I don't think I can. I speak English perfectly. I also can speak some: Spanish, french, arabic, Tagalog(very little!! just enough to help my half-Asian cousin learn it), sign language, and Cherokee. Why? Class/life, class/ballet, religion, family, idk I just got bored several times and learned it, family.

Literally no group of people want me. It's not easy. America really doesn't want me. Life is easy when I keep my heritage a secret.

Well... I do fit in one (2) places. The dekalb international farmers market. And the internet because no one can see my skin or hear me speak. Oh and the Cherokee tend to reallyyyyyyy dislike muslims. I've never gotten a strait answer about that one.

You know that?! It's not my fault that my genes are messed up. My grandfathers hair was white by the time he turned 21. I have some weird genes. It's not my fault and I shouldn't be judged.

Have any of you experienced racism or discrimination?? please let me know in the comments.

Diary of a teenage Muslim convertWhere stories live. Discover now