I didn't mean to break you (clexa au)

t w e n t y s e v e n

Lexa watched as the sun faded into the distance, the light in the cave now dimmer due to the shallow light of the moon. Lexa knew that the peace would be disturbed when Clarke woke up, and so she soaked in every ounce of it while she could. Memories of their night together in the cave flooded Lexa's mind making a small smile light up her face as well as making a few tears fall down her face. How had she just ignored Clarke, how could she of been such a bitch to the innocent and vulnerable love of her life. She should've been there for her when she needed her most, when Lexa also needed her most. But the two had drifted away, though their hearts still only beat for each other.

"Lexa?" A small croaky voice questioned. Lexa turned to the side to see Clarke's eyes squinting at her. Lexa offered a small sympathetic smile, letting that mask down again, allowing the blonde to look into her eyes and read her completely. The two stared into each other's eyes a moment longer, neither girl wanting to break it as they knew it would mean talking.

"Clarke." The brunette said quickly looking away and down to her lap where she was nervously fiddling with her fingers. Clarke gulped as she heard Lexa's soft and vulnerable tone, she could tell the girl was in pain and she hated it. "I'm sorry. I know that's not worth much Clarke, but I'm sorry for everything. For letting that girl kiss me a moment to long, for running in front of the car, for ignoring you after you waited for me to wake up from my coma for a whole month. I wish that I could take everything back, and-" Lexa paused to sigh, "I know I can't change the past, and I hate myself for everything I've put you through, I should've been there for you, I was too stubborn to push my feelings away and see that you were hurting too." The brunette gulped as tears brimmed in her eyes. "I know an apology doesn't change anything. But Clarke you need to know that i love you. I never stopped loving you, and I'm sorry that it took almost losing you completely for me to see how much of an idiot I am," Lexa's voice cracked as she glanced over to the blondes thigh where she'd most recently seen the cuts.

There was silence for a few minutes, and Lexa's anxiety was building as she began to bob her knee up and down. "Clarke-" she tried again but was stopped by Clarke shushing her. "I'm sorry, I don't quite know what to say Lex.." she trailed off momentarily, but Lexa felt her heart flutter at the use of the name 'Lex.' The brunette nodded and Clarke took in a deep breath. "I want you to know this isn't your fault Lexa," she spoke softly as her eyes joined Lexa's looking at her leg. "I shouldn't of said a lot of the things I said, I thought pushing you away would save you. I hurt everyone I love Lexa and I didn't want to hurt you, but I did. I knew the only way to get you to leave was to tell you that I didn't-" Clarke shook her head and paused her words, "I'm sorry, I was just so angry, not even at you, but at me for not being enough." Lexa put a finger to Clarke's mouth stopping her from speaking. "You are more than I could ever imagine," she whispered sending a chill down Clarke's spine.

"I love you Lexa Woods and your deserve so much better-" Lexa shook her head at the blonde, "Stop Clarke. I've told you, all I want is you. You are perfect to me, I want you Clarke, not anyone else."

Clarke's eyes filled with tears as she let her body become loose as she fell into Lexa's arms. The brunette settled her arms around the blonde, tightly pulling her in close. "I.. I want you too Lexa," she managed to stutter out as she raised her head to look at the love of her life. Lexa looked down with a smile at the girls words. Leaning towards each other their lips met, sparks flying everywhere. As their lips moved together it was like heaven, as if what they'd been searching for their whole lives had just been given to them. Lexa deepened the kiss, making clarke moan, the brunette took this opportunity to slip her tongue into the blondes mouth, nibbling at her bottom lip as they fought for dominance.

After a heated few minutes the two pulled away, once again staring into each others moon lit eyes. "I missed you," Clarke whispered nuzzling her head into Lexa's neck. The brunette smiled at her cuteness whilst playing with her hair. "I missed you too."

The two girls lay in the cave cuddled up, just talking and staring at each other late into the night. After a few hours neither of them could ignore their buzzing phones anymore so they shot a text to their friends and left the cave hand in hand. When in the car Lexa drove with her left hand rested on Clarke's thigh, not wanting to let her go ever again.

The ride back to Lexa's was short and consisted of Clarke staring at the brunette admiring the ease of which she drove. Lexa could feel the eyes of her lover glided to her, making a smirk appear on her face. "Are you okay baby?" She asked, keeping her eyes on the road as she pulled onto her street. "I'm good.." she trailed off in thought, Lexa waited for her to continue. "So are you my girlfriend again?" Clarke asked nervously still staring at Lexa. Lexa stifled a laugh at how cute Clarke sounded when she was nervous. "If you'd like me to be, then yes," she grinned noticing the blonde relax into her seat front he corner of her eye. "Yes please," she whispered. Lexa pulled into the driveway and hopped out before running around and opening Clarke's door. "You don't have to say please because I love being able to call you mine." Lexa winked as she took Clarke's hand and the two walked into the house.

The two walked into the kitchen to see Lincoln grinning at them. "What you grinning at?" Lexa scoffed as she grabbed two mugs out of the cupboard. "You two, I'm glad Clexa is back together," he smirked looking between the two girls who both had blushes covering their faces. "Shut up and go annoy your girlfriend," Lexa retorted before walking over to the kettle to make two hot chocolates. Lincoln laughed throwing his hands up in defence as he left the kitchen to go to bed.

"Here you go darling," Lexa's voice softened as she handed her girlfriend a hot chocolate topped with a mountain of whipped cream and marshmallows. The blondes face lit up at the sight making her subconsciously lick her lips seductively. Butterflies swarmed Lexa's stomach as she watched the girl lick her lips like that. "Where are we sitting?" Clarke asked, making Lexa stop staring at her. "Oh um, I thought I could make a fire in the pit outside if you want." Clarke nodded eagerly in response as she followed the girl outside.

As they sat down Clarke looked over to Lexa who was shivering slightly, "Shit Lex, I'm sorry, I have your jacket, here," the blonde quickly slipped off the jacket and tried to pass it to Lexa who pushed it back to her. "Keep it baby, once I get the fire going I'm going to grab us some blankets anyway," she smiled sweetly.

Lexa made the fire and grabbed a couple of blankets as well as some marshmallows to roast on the fire. "Lexa?" Clarke questioned softly as she moved closer to the girl, snuggling up against her side. The brunette wrapped her arm around the blonde and rest her head on her head. "Yes baby," she hummed in response, playing with her girlfriends blonde locks as she spoke. "Promise me you won't ever leave, I know technically I'm the one that made you leave, but please-" the blondes voice was laced with worry. Lexa smiles down at the girl, bringing her closer into her side, "now I've got you back, I'm never letting go." Clarke's blush and genuine smile was hidden by the dark night but Lexa knew the girl wasn't nervous anymore as she relaxed further into her arms.