Queen of the Rogues

of sorting and understanding

if i tell you my heart would you understand?
or would you tell me i'm too late and turn me away?

M A D D I E ♛

I know, I know. Kasen told me to wait for lunch time, but I couldn't.

Knowing that Chase was just beyond my reach only if I held my hand out, how could I ever let the chance escape me.

It pained me to see how serious and down he looked. He looks like he hasn't slept well in a while and I hoped that I wasn't the reason.

I left my room right away after putting what little belongings I had with me. Megan was just happy to see a bed.

"I will go out for a while, wait for me, okay?" I ask her while combing her hair.

"You can count on me."

Ah, what an adorable girl. I kissed the top of her head and hugged her happily.

"I'll be back!" I tell her and head out the door immediately.

I definitely saw Chase going towards the kitchen.

Rushing down the stairs, I made my way towards the kitchen where I saw a whole lot of busy people who greeted me. However, Chase wasn't anywhere to be seen.

After greeting them also, I asked if they had seen Chase. They happily pointed that he went out through the back door. So he really must've went by the lake.

I ran towards there even if my memory didn't serve me the best of which direction to take, when I stepped into the forest, I followed Chase's scent.

It wasn't long until I finally saw him. He was sitting in front of the river and seeing him so down was so unusual.

He must've smelled my scent because he turned around and that had me slow down from running.

He had a quizzical look, as if questioning what I was doing here.

I stopped in front of him and took a few moments to catch my breath while Chase stood up to face me.

The wind blowed and my hair slapped my face so I had to tuck it properly behind my ears.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his tone low and serious, but not hostile. No, Chase wasn't like that.

"I came to find you." I answered him but he seemed to be even more confused.

I took a step closer to him and reached out to hold his hand but just as I held it, he spoke again.

"Maddie, let's not make this harder on each other." he said and now it was my time to be confused. What was he saying?

"No, Chase. I'm here to--"

"I'll do the rejection, I know you want to leave and I won't force you to stay if you don't want to. But just give me some time."

Rejection?

What is he talking about?

And then I recalled what Kasen told me before. The only way out of this mate culture is if you rejected them with saying a few certain words.

The thought made my heart drop and the fact that Chase was thinking of doing it shocked me even more.

"Chase, listen to me!" I say loudly to get his attention.

That did the trick because then he was looking at me and I seemed to have his undivided attention.

My chest was heavy now, all the emotions and thoughts of a month's worth was now catching up to me and all the more, Chase was in front of me now. In flesh.

It wasn't an imaginary Chase that I had to erase in my mind to stop the pain of leaving him.

"I'm sorry." my voice was ragged and I was trying to control the lump that forming in my throat.

"I know I left you hanging in the air, I know I prioritized vengeance and my anger over all of you. I know you just wanted to help me, but I refused it. And I know you told me that you weren't going to forgive me and you probably hate me now or something, but..."

I couldn't help the tears that were flowing by now.

Chase listened intently, his eyes widened.

"I'm here now asking you to take me back."

With slow steps, Chase too a step closer to me, closing the small space between us. He wiped my tears away like he always did, but they kept flowing.

I could see the thoughts that were weighing down on his mind. As I thought, he won't accept me now won't he?

Have I lost him? Would I really have to leave him forever?

The thought was unimaginable, but it wouldn't be far fetched. My chest felt heavy and it was somehow getting harder to breathe and it made me cry some more.

"But if you don't want me anymore--"

"That's nonsense. I'll always want you, you're my mate." he says and it was a light of hope in a hole of darkness. "Maddie, I love you so much that it drives me crazy. I love you enough to let you go if you want to leave."

My eyes widened at his confession. Chase has always shown that he loved me, but to hear it from his lips for the very first time, my heart went crazy.

"I'm not leaving Chase, not anymore. I know I always told you that I was going to leave and continue on with my life as usual but how can I when you changed everything there was in it?"

We stared into each other's eyes for a long time, I could see that he was deep in thought. There might still be a lot of things that was worrying him and I couldn't blame him.

I've given him many reasons to worry so I had to be patient and assure him that he had nothing to worry about now, that I'm really here to stay.

"You don't know how happy I am right now, Maddie, but allow me to ask this one thing." I nodded for him to continue on. "Are you sure about this?"

"I have never been so sure in my life."

Chase was quick to pull me into him and kissed me. My heart was bursting in happiness.

It felt like it was a dream, but the way I was feeling right now and the way Chase kissed me told me that all of this was real.

I am with Chase now and we were never going to part any time soon.

When we were out of breath, he pulled away shortly and was about to kiss me again, but I held him for a while.

"Wait-- I have something to say." I say. Chase tilted his quite a bit impatiently which made me chuckle.

"I love you."

A smile immediately formed in his lips.

"I love you most."