of rest and anxiety

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weary little feet
find your rest,
before the storm
comes and rages
and your strength is put to test

M A D D I E



I was so thankful that we arrived at the unclaimed field right before sunset. I took off the cloth that covered my face. I smelled the place.

The last wolves that have been here were from around weeks ago. They were pack wolves, that's evident. Their scent lingered, but it was weak. They were probably just patrolling the area.

"Let's go further up north. Stay as far as possible to any packs." I say and started walking again.

The sun has just set when we finally rested. The women started preparing food right away with the help of the younger ones. The men and I separated for a bit to survey over the field. I had instructed them to look for any traces of pack or other rogues who might've been staying here too.

I climbed up the tree and tried to see as far as I could, but it wasn't a very great idea because it was already getting dark.

The wind blowed coldly and I closed my eyes to breath it all in. I'm glad we're here safely.

In the bottom of my stomach, an uneasiness started to settle in. As I looked at the forest that extended far and wide, something in me is pulling me to get closer up ahead.

My heart started to pound. It's not really my instinct of danger that's kicking in. This feeling... it's something else. I've felt this before when I was here a few years ago. This is the same exact feeling I felt when I got too close to the pack.

What is this?

I don't understand.

"Maddie, it's all good here!" I hear Jim saying from down the tree. I snap out of my reveries.

I jumped from the very top to the ground. "Good, we settle here then."

The other men came along and started telling me about the field like where the nearest lake was, where we could pick berries and where we could start growing food and all.

Seeing everyone here, they all looked so happy. Many here were banished from their packs unjustly, some escaped their abusive packs while some are survivors of packs that have been attacked and brought down.

To them, this was another shot at a normal life. Not life as a rogue.

Most of them, I rescued from the attacks from other rogues. They're unfamiliar to this kind of life and rogues know other rogues.

Outside pack borders, it's the survival of the fittest. You need to know how to fight for your life or else you'll be killed. Rogues have no mercy, to show that they are stronger, they will not hesitate to show their strength.

See, within rogues, the more you've killed, the more others fear you and that means that you're strong. If packs have Alphas, unclaimed territories have the bloodiest rogues in competition over who is the strongest.

"Queen of the rogues." someone say behind me. I turn quickly when I hear the name that the rogues have called me. It was Andrew. He was the same age as me and he became a rogue after escaping the attacks of his pack two years ago.

He hands me a bowl of soup and sat down beside me. "Don't call me that." I laugh mixing the soup. Andrew laughs.

"Why not? You're a famous." he teases.

I snorted. "Yeah, a lot of people want to kill me."

And that's what happens when you've made a name for yourself in the rogue community. Many will be after your head. You will live your life in a constant battle.

"You know, this is almost like living in a pack. If we could get a way to talk to the Council, maybe they could recognize us as a pack." Andrew started saying and I could only smile.

"Well then, if that happens, you could be the Alpha." I say.

"No way, I'm not fit to be an Alpha. You are. Some here are already calling you that." I shake my head. What he's saying is true. Some of the people here call me their Alpha, but I always tell them not to.

We're not a pack and I'm not a leader. I'm only doing this because I want this group of people to live a peaceful life after their bitter experiences in their own packs.

As for me, I don't do too well with packs.

"I've never known the life of being in a pack and basing on my experiences with packs, I'm not really sure I want to be in one. Even if I do manage to be in a pack, I don't think I'll ever fit in." I answer truthfully.

"And what if your mate is a pack member?" he asks again. Man, Andrew is really pushing it.

Mates, I've heard about them. I don't really understand what it is about though.

Mel and Steve, Ashleys' parents are supposedly mates. They're lovers, husband and wife. I don't really understand where the mate aspect comes in.

"Alright, Andrew. You can stop there. Go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow." I tell him and stand up.

Andrew stood up and walked beside me as we went and gave our bowls to the ladies who were gonna go clean them up tomorrow.

"Yes, queen." Andrew teases again which earns him a smack on the arm.


~


The next three days were of us settling down. Our tents have been set up and we've pretty much have a place for our foods, bonfire place where everyone sits down to every night.

I'm with the younger pups running around the field. Some of them will start to shift soon and I wanted to help them prepare their bodies so their first shifting wouldn't hurt too much. They need to build their physique.

However, in the middle of training, we took a break because they just started playing a game of tag. I couldn't really scold them because after all, they've been working really hard and they were kids after all. They will still want to have fun.

As we ran further away from our camping ground, the feeling that I've been feeling ever since we came here became heavier. I really don't understand.

My heart started beating heavily and I slowed down in running.

What in the world is this?

I hate to admit it, but it has been bothering me for these past three days.

"Ashley! Come'ere!" Gage says and runs after her.

Instead of getting Ashley, Gage was able to tag Quinn. The young man was surprised, but he quickly recovered. This time, he went for Sarah who was a tad bit slower than the rest.

"I hate you!" Sarah screamed when Quinn touched her back.

Everyone laughed and all I could do was follow them.

The feeling was stronger as we kept running.

This isn't good. I don't feel too good about this.

We have to go ba--

A scream.

We all turn to the direction of the high pitched voice. It was Leighton.

My eyes widened when I saw that he was on the ground. Now, it was clear.

Leighton was beyond a pack's barrier.

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