amor na máfia

Chapter 12- Pavor

He kisses my forehead and I turn around and look at the private jet and feel sick instantly.

"You'll be fine. I promise." Carter says and I nod.

"Nice for you to finally join us Lara." Jax says as I make my way to the steps.

"I'm a busy women." I joke and start walking up the steps.

I walk into the familiar jet and sigh looking around and instead of seeing the Amara, Gio and Matteo sat talking.

I could just see and feel Alannah. We are on this jet once every month. I could hear her soft little snores, her little giggles the cute way she talks.

I put my hands over my mouth taking in a deep breath when someone touches my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" His voice says and I stiffen.

"I'm fine." I say and take a seat in my normal seat.

Once we took of I felt ten times worse. I felt trapped and suffocated. I couldn't even hear what anyone else was saying because all I could hear was Alannah.

I don't think I'll be able to deal with 8 hours on this plane.

"Lara." Gio says sitting beside me. I snap my head up from my hands to look at him.

"What's up?" I ask him and he furrows his eyebrows.

"Lara what's wrong?" He asks and I shake my head no and look out the window.

"You can talk to me, you know. I've always had your back." Gio says and I sigh.

"I know." I say not turning back to him.

About 3/4 of the journey was done and Jax sighs which makes me look up. He raises his eyebrows at me whilst making me furrow my own in confusion.

He hands his drink to Matteo and sits in the spare seat beside me.

"What's wrong? You haven't spoken for 6 hours. What's wrong?" He asks and the sound of Alannah crying runs shivers up my spine.

"You're shaking." Jax says holding my hands. "What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?" He asks and I shake my head no and wipe away a tear as it quickly fell from my eye.

"Talk to me." He says and I shake my head no whilst looking at the floor.

"Is it me? Oh my god it's me isn't it?" He asks sounding quite sad.

"Its not you Jax." I say wiping away another tear.

He sighs and puts the cup holder between us up so it was no longer in the way.

He turns his body fully to me as he holds my hands infront of me in his one hand whilst he wipes away one of my tears with his thumb.

"Talk to me." He says softly.

"Can you make it stop?" I ask as my voice hitches. He puts his hands on either side of my face to make me look up at him.

"Make what stop?" He asks confused as I shiver at the sound of Alannah.

"I shouldn't of got on this plane Jax. I can't I can't focus." I say and tears instantly start running down my voice as I break down.

"Hey it's okay. Tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it." He says and I shake my head for no.

"Lara let me help you." He says wiping away my tears with both his thumbs.

"She's here with me Jax. I travel on this exact plane every single month. Everytime with Alannah and all I can hear is her voice, her laughs, her little snores. Jax it's all I can hear." I say breaking down under his hands.