Starlight | completed

Chapter 18 | who am i

What was he even doing? For a long time, Aera had wanted to love and to be loved in return. She could have had that with Will. Luce was nothing more than a mere speck of dust, he would fly off and leave her one day. Because he simply wasn't bright enough to keep her attention for long. Because he couldn't sacrifice his happiness for hers, but that was something he needed to do.

He crisply folded it, and a bit resigned decided to go find Will. He was Luce Nova, and he loved Aera Clayor. And he loved her enough to let her go. He walked around the school for a bit, it was a spring day. The air was crisp, the grass was wet with dew. And people were laughing, a light in their eyes and face. Luce wondered where his light was.

He spotted Will, he was laughing a bright smile on his face as the guy next to him said something. He looked wondrous, fiery even. A perfect match for Aera's brightness, where Luce would only dampen her glow. Those two could shine even brighter together. Ana stood to the side of Will her pretty face, dimmed by her sullen expression.

Luce stood to the side of Will's large friend group, a bit tense. He convinced himself that he could do this, if he loved her he could let her go. Will spotted him immediately, and his eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled at Luce. His green eyes flashed happily, and for a split second Luce despised his dark brown eyes. "Hey man." he mumbled out, arm slinging around Luce.

Luce resisted the urge to flinch, he instead just handed Will the letter in his hand. The one he'd written for Aera, the one he figured she would be better off without seeing. The one that he couldn't stand the sight of. Will looked a bit hesitant but took the letter from his hands.

"You want me to read it?" he questioned and Luce just nodded. His expression stone cold, he didn't like the feeling of guilt. That was all he would be consumed with if he sent that letter. Aera was Will's now, and he was just a mere nobody. He sallowed, Luce hated secrets. They clogged his throat up and made him choke on air.

He had quite enough of this secret. If he could get this off his chest, over and done with. Maybe he could move on. He didn't have it in him to tell Aera, he didn't want to lose her. And if he told her, he might just lose her. But if he told Will, at least some of that guilt would be gone. At least his secret would be less of a secret.

Will slowly opened the letter, eyes flashing over it as he read it. Luce examined his eyes, after all they were a window into someone's soul. Will was a vivid person, he burned, and Luce could read his emotions easily. They flashed around his eyes, and his face. He was just so easy to read.

First he seemed confused, and then his gaze hardened, most likely when he spied Aera's name. And as he read over it, there was such a bitter expression on his face. It was unlike Will, it didn't suit his face.

Luce looked away. Will continued reading, the words seeming to pierce through his mind. He finally looked up, and crumbling the letter. He threw it into the trashcan, it went right in. It hit someone's milk carton, and the milk splashed all over it. Chocolate milk, he watched as the words he'd so delicately written stained and became unreadable.

Luce flinched a bit, his letter was terribly ruined. He resisted the urge to frown, he had poured a lot onto it. However it wasn't like Aera was meant to see it anyways. "She's my girlfriend" Will said, and his expression was so morbid. It was furious, and bitter, anger burned brightly in him. Luce didn't have the heart to care.

"I know" he instead said, and if possible Will glowered even more. Fury was prominent in his eyes. Luce shivered, for there was something in his chest that burned, his chest was aching with something nasty and bitter.

"So when I asked you for your help, you were just pretending? Did you try to set me up for failure or what?" Will asked anger craved into his voice, and Luce just sighed. He'd done enough, he'd given the letter to Will and someone in the world beside him knew that he wrote those letters.

It was a bit freeing to be honest, he squared his shoulders back. He could never keep Aera from that freedom she carved, the one that didn't always involve him at her side. He'd done enough, he'd made Will angry. And he had made himself nothing more than a bitter man. He was utterly selfish.

A bitter man was not a man he wanted to be, he looked at Will wistfully. All he ever did was give, and all Aera ever did was take. "Take care of her." he whispered and a whimper almost escaped his chest again, because there was still that bitter and nasty thing in his chest. But Luce was never the type to add fuel to the fire.

With a tentative smile in Will's direction, he walked away. He didn't have any more to give.

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y'all cramps suck, someone save me pls.

and thank you from the bottom of my heart for 1k, i love you all <3