loving you is a losing game I ✔️

t w e n t y - f o u r

- chases point of view - 

these past weeks have been hell, not getting to talk to her or listen to her laugh, nothing

When school gets out I'm relived, I couldn't sit their any longer without jumping to ask her to be mine or even talking her, but I knew she would just say no

I didn't know how I gave her that letter, but now she knows

Evan Bryce has been on my ass trying to get me back on my feet, but he hasn't been trying to get me over her and I think maya hasn't either with ella

When school gets out I walk over to my car and start it up blasting music to get my mind off of things then I drive to the only place I can think at

The cliff

When I get their no ones their like usual and I sit down at take out the paper from the envelope

I don't know if I'm ready to read this as she wasn't ready for mine

Its not as long as mine which I'm happy about because she didn't even need to do this

I mean I didn't even know she would talk to me after everything

I take a deep breath before opening it

'chase, as you are not good with words and I'm not either I wrote you back and I know this is probably weird but don't laugh or anything because I'm spilling my heart out to you right now. I haven't been able to get actually sleep or calm down without talking to you, even if were just fighting or hurting each other I'm with you and it make me feel, I don't even know and I'm sorry I truly am, maybe I over reacted to much I know how you feel about me if what you said was true and I feel the same. I don't know how it happened but somehow I gave in and let myself believe you were worth fighting for. And you are and I want you to know that, if you promise not to hurt me on purpose or if your not going with me I forgive you and I will try again because honesty I cant live without you chase from our childhood memories to know you make me laugh and cry and I don't know if that's a good thing, but I love it if what you wrote was true we can talk again because I'm ready but if you're not that's your choice and its okay but I love you chase and you can get past this, love elliana <3'

How do I even explain to her that I'm not lying or I'm not joking, I'm trying to be good for her and not hurt her more

Its hurting me so much more than it is to her, but she doesn't know that

This has nothing to do with me being scared of ruining my reputation because I could care less what people think about me all I care about is her and I tried to get over any feelings I had for her because I didn't want her to like me back and I didn't want her to know because I wasn't good enough for her

But all of that has changed and now all I want is her and to make her happy not to bring her down

Again..

I run my hands through my hair and look down at my lap

"chase" I hear, and my head snaps up looking from where the voice came from

"elliana.." I meet her eyes

God this girl is beautiful

"did you read it?" she asks

"yeah.." I tell her

"oh" she says looking at the bottom of the lake

"ella?" I ask

"can you be mine, please I won't hurt you I want to be with you not hurt you all the time and I can't stand being without you it drives me fuc-" and I'm cut off by her lips on mine

I move into the kiss but its more forgiving and loving that lustful or harsh

"I love you chase, and if you prosime not to hurt me then yes" she says

"say It again"

"yes?"

"first three words

"I love you?"

"I love you too" and with that I claim her lips again

"you know I didn't find you as a writing type" she says breathless breaking the kiss as I grab her and make her lay down so I'm on top of her then bring my lips back to hers

"shut up and kiss me"