Her life

Chapter 1

I swiped through tiktok while being lost in my thoughts.
"why am I like this? why can't I be normal? why am I such a waste of potential?" I asked myself
I couldn't focus on anything in my life. Neither school nor my social life.
I wanted to use my potential but ended up not doing anything because my depression killed my motivation for literally anything. I wanted to see friends but my anxiety told me they'd hate me for asking.
The only thing I kinda could focus on was transitioning. I wanted to finally feel comfortable in my body and not feel the constant dysphoria.
Since I outed myself there isn't much that changed and time runs by as if it was sand running through my hands. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to transition because of bad luck or something. I wanted to kill myself but the imagination of my deadname on my gravestone and being buried with this body gave me chills. Not to mention my family and friends which would probably feel guilty (which they kinda would be)...I really don't want anyone to feel bad...especially not because of someone like me.

I turned my head to the left side to see the time on my clock
4 a.m.
Pretty usual time for me to be awake
Because that's the only time I could think about everything that happened and also the only time no one complained about everything I did and even things that never happened.

Then I stopped watching the clock. The moment I looked at tiktok again my thoughts slowly started to get worse again.

275 Words

I really hope anyone likes this story
I know I'm not that good at writing stories sorry😅
And sorry for the even worse writing than tipically I wrote that in like 10 minutes😂