Watch How You Handle Me

Over- Ashanti

-Can't believe that it's over baby
Every bruise on my heart you gave me
See we tried but we fight then we cried now it's over babe it's over babe.-

Yani

"Hello"

I screamed into the phone. I was so fucking annoyed it was ridiculous. This was our last day of high school and then my sister Yoshi and I were off to college. The thing that had me so pissed was my boyfriend of 5 years Kenzo, has been missing in action since last week.
He had been doing some football training since he secured that full ride scholarship. Kenzo was the shit in every aspect. He was 5'9, caramel colored skin, dark brown slanted eyes with long lashes. He had dreads that stopped in the middle of his back. Pearly white teeth, an athlete physique and a dope boy swag. He was ripped up with tattoos everywhere and he was all mine....well so I thought. Kenzo who's real name is Kendair Zonjae, had been my boyfriend since 8th grade. He was my 1st everything but these past couple of months I feel like he's been putting me last. Don't get me wrong, we both been grinding getting ready for college but I have still been what he needs me to be. After only receiving a text here and there from him this past week, he was finally calling me back.

"HELLO"

I screamed again and then finally he said something.

"Yani baby we need to talk."

I didn't like the way he sounded so I was instantly put on edge. I was already trying to figure out how I was going to tell him about this pregnancy. We would be starting Georgia State in 2 months and although this was horrible timing I would never give up my baby. We were just going to make it work because we both knew we should have been being careful.

"Kenzo, what's up?" I asked him and waited for him to reply.

"Have you made it home from school?" He asked and I simply said yes. Then he told me he was on his way. I figured this would be the best time to tell him about my pregnancy. I waited 20 minutes and then I heard the doorbell. When I made it to the door I quickly opened it for Kenzo trying to detect what could be wrong but he avoided eye contact.

"So what's up?" I asked. I was waiting on him to start talking to me in that strong ass New Orleans accent i loved.

"Yani baby, I love you so much but we're so young. Going to these colleges for tours made me realize that I'm not ready to be in a fully committed relationship ya dig? It's so much out here for us to explore and I can't promise you faithfulness right now cause on some real shit I want to have fun and explore. Football already gets majority of my time and I would feel bad cheating you out of the attention you deserve. I just think we need to back up for a minute and maybe if it's meant to be it will be. I'm sorry Yani....I wanted to tell you before but I'm going back home. I'll be attending LSU for college on a full football scholarship. I was just hoping we could still have some type of relationship being that we have history.

"Wow" was all I could say as tears fell down my face. I was not expecting to hear that cause for one I thought we were already in a full committed relationship. "So that's it huh? 5 motherfuckin years. I took you back after you cheated on me several times. I forgave you over and over Ken.. "

"And you shouldn't have Yani." He screamed. There's no fuckin way you should've kept fuckin with a nigga that thugged you like that lil baby. That shows you we ain't ready for no real life shit. Then we about to be in two different states. It's no way I would be able to keep it a buck with you. I would rather dip lil baby than handle you like that. I love you Yani, you gotta believe that ma, but we young as fuck. Let's just take this time and grow the fuck up. I'ma come back for you bae." He said.

"Nah don't." I stopped him and he looked at me with so much emotion as he pushed his dreads to the back. I went grabbed everything out my room he ever gave me as he sat on the couch with his head down. Anything that belonged to him, I bagged that shit right up. Three bags later. I was walking back in the living room. "Here" I said. He looked from me to the bags and then frowned his face up.

"The fuck is that yo?" He asked standing up.

While gathering his shit, I got my mind right quick. If that nigga wanted to go explore, then shit I was gone free him.

"So look. Don't come back for me. I'm good. I love you Kendair. You were my first everything and I'll always have love for you but I can't leave this chapter in my life open waiting on you to get back to me. I would be miserable and I would be settling and I just can't do that. I'm hurt right now but I won't be hurt forever. This was an experience and I appreciate everything I got from it. Right now I fucking hate you. I don't want to be your friend, homie, companion none of that shit. I want you to forget you ever knew me and go live your life. I want to put this behind me and you should too. Just remember you left me, I didn't leave you. I wish you nothing but the best babe. " I told him as I handed him his bags.

"So yo way or no fucking way huh?" A nigga pull up and keep it real with you and you can't even respect that. I could've been fucking mad bitches while we were together and been lying to you but I hit you with some G-shit and that's how you sliding? Bet."

He started walking off leaving the bags on the floor. "Thank God I didn't get your childish ass pregnant. The last thing a nigga need is a weak, bitter punk ass baby momma. Hit me when you grow the fuck up lil girl." He walked out the house and slammed the door. I guess that was it for us. I broke down crying. My heart was in shambles and I didn't even tell him about the baby. Shit I'm happy I didn't after what he just said to me. I know one thing, I'll never let another nigga do me like Kenzo and that nigga gone regret the day he left me.