A Chance Meeting | Chris Evans

Chapter 97

She'd been doing really well, feeling much more relaxed but she knew that it was only a matter of time before someone else recognised Chris. And sure enough, while they waited for the dessert, a young couple came over and hesitantly asked for a selfie. This time she made herself stay at the table.
Chris gave her a wary look before standing for a selfie and then chatting a little.
Relax. They're not interested in you. They're not even looking at you.
She glanced over quickly at the young couple who looked totally overwhelmed that they were talking to Chris.
I feel you, guys!
They probably hadn't even noticed that there were other people at the table!
'So, Becs,' Scotty said, breaking into her chin of thought. 'It's weird, huh?' He nodded his head towards Chris and the couple.
'Yeah.' She said emphatically.
Weird doesn't even begin to describe it.
'You'll get used to it.' Carly said kindly.
She wasn't sure that she would, but she gave Carly a smile anyway.
'Anyway, while we wait for Chris to come back from his adoring public, I've been sent THE funniest email.' Scotty said.
'It's a list that was published in a women's magazine in the 50s called '129 Ways to Get a Husband' and it's hilarious.'
'That sounds horribly sexist.' Carly pointed out.
'Oh God, it is. But the funny comes from how much times have changed.'
'Go on then.' Becca said, glad of the distraction.
'The first section's 'Where to find him' and it starts off okay with 'get a dog and walk it' and 'have your car 'break down' at strategic places' etc. Then we've got 'attend night school - take courses men like'.'
'Courses that men like? As opposed to all the sewing and housework lessons that women like?' Carly said, sarcastically.
'It gets better. Number four is 'read the obituaries to find eligible widowers'.'
'No! It doesn't really say that!' Becca laughed in surprise. 'Is this a real article? Are you having us on?'
'I swear on my life - it's a real article. They genuinely gave that advice to women.'
'Well now I know where I've been going wrong all these years.' Becca said. 'I haven't been trolling the obituaries.'
Scotty laughed. 'Next one 'be nice to everybody-'
'Well, that's fine.' Carly interrupted.
'Be nice to everybody - they may have an eligible brother or son.' Scotty continued.
'Yes, because why else would you be nice to people?'
'Exactly. Then we have: 'tell everyone that you're interested in getting married. Don't keep it a secret.'
Carly laughed. 'Subtle.'
'Yeah, when I was single I always used to introduce myself to dates by saying 'I'm Scotty and I want to get married' - didn't scare them off at all!' He joked.
Becca laughed. 'Why stop there - you could make a sign to hang round your neck or something.'
'I'm surprised they don't suggest that.' Carly joked.
'And then there's this gem for how to find a guy: 'Learn to paint and set up your easel outside an engineering school.'
'What, with your 'desperate-to-get-married' sign around your neck?' Becca joked.
'Because that'd look normal - hanging around somewhere randomly painting!'
'See? Isn't this the best list in the whole world, ever?' Scotty asked.
'It is pretty hilarious.' Becca admitted.
'What're you all finding so funny?' Chris asked, coming back to the table.
'Scotty's list of advice to women in the fifties about how to snag a husband.' Carly explained.
'Well, don't let me stop you.'
'So, once you've managed to find a potential husband, the next section is 'how to look good to him' and it's a corker.' Scotty continued. 'The first piece of advice they give is 'get a sunburn'.'
Becca snorted. 'Get a sunburn? What sort of weirdo is going to be attracted to you looking like a tomato or a lobster?'
'Well, I've always found lobsters very attractive.' Chris joked.
Becca grinned at him. 'Case in point.'
'Then we have 'take good care of your health - men don't like girls who are ill'.'
'Actually that one's true.' Chris joked to Becca. 'That time I came round your place and you were sick, you were totally disgusting.'
Becca gasped in mock-annoyance, smacking Chris on the arm. 'Well, I don't recall inviting you round, so much as you gatecrashing.'
'Well, you've probably forgotten because you were so sick and delirious.' He grinned.
'Next one: 'flatter his ego - laugh at his jokes, tell him you think he's handsome or rich.'
'Jeez, what kind of egomaniac are you going to end up with if you follow this advice?' Carly snorted.
'Next is one for you Becs - 'European women use their eyes to good advantage-'
'We do?' She asked.
'Apparently - 'European women use their eyes to good advantage, practice in front of a mirror.'
'Ah, I think they mean that flirtatious kind of lingering eye contact, but that's more the French or Italians, certainly not Brits. We get uncomfortable after about two seconds.'
'And the last piece of wisdom they have for how to look good to your future husband is 'don't be too fussy'. Scotty said with a laugh.
'Don't be too fussy?' Carly echoed. 'About the guy?'
'Yeah, because who wants high standards? It's not like you're looking for something important, only the person that you're going to spend the rest of your life with!' Becca said sarcastically.
'So you met the guy, and you've caught his attention by getting a sunburn and flattering his ego, the final section is how to land him, and it goes from the hilarious to the downright insulting.' Scotty said.
'No surprise there.' Carly said.
'The first piece of advice they have is 'on the first date tell him you don't want to get married.'
'Why?' Carly asked.
'Seems like a recipe for disaster to me.' Becca said.
'Then 'don't tell him how much your clothes cost'.'
Becca laughed. 'Is that something that people do? I can honestly say that I have never discussed how much my clothes cost on a date.'
Chris shrugged. 'Maybe it was a fifties thing.'
'The last two are awful.' Scotty continued. 'We have 'be flexible. If he decides to skip the dance and go rowing on the lake, go - even if you're wearing your best evening gown.'
'I don't think so!' Carly snorted. 'If I've put a dress on, we're going dancing!'
'And then 'hide your Phi Beta Kappa key if you own one - later on junior can play with it'.'
Carly made a noise that made Becca think that one must be really sexist.
'You'll have to explain that one for me - I don't know what that means.' Becca said. 'What's a Phi Beta Kappa key?'
'The key means that you're a member of Phi Beta Kappa - it's the most prestigious college honors society in America, which takes only the brightest students. So it's basically saying to women 'hide your intelligence'.'
'Ah.'
'And the last piece of advice - if all else fails 'point out to him that the death rate of single men is twice that of married men'.'
Becca laughed. 'Is that even true?'
'I've got no idea.' Scotty said.
'Those are hilarious, Scotty.' Becca said. 'Can you send it to me? Viv and Ella would love it.'
'Sure.'
As he was sending it over, the desserts arrived.
'Tiramisu again?' Chris asked Becca.
'Yeah well, it's my favourite.' She took a bite. 'Mmmm.'
'Nice?'
'Not as nice as Joe's obviously.' She said with a grin.
'Oh, you've met Joe?' Carly asked.
'Yes, he made me tiramisu - it was amazing!'
The conversation was disrupted by Chris's phone binging.'Sorry guys, it's from Zac, it might be to do with work.' He dipped his head to read it.
'Did you say you were free on Wednesday?' Chris asked Becca after a moment.
'Err...yes. Why?'
'I've just got permission for you to come on set on Wednesday.' He said.
'This Wednesday? As in, five days' time?' Becca asked in a slightly squeaky voice.
Oh holy crap!
'Yeah.' Chris said. 'No backing out - a bet's a bet.'
'I know, I know. I wasn't going to back out, it's just...a big deal.' Becca said. 'Can I bring someone for moral support?'
'Sure. I figured that you'd want to, so I asked for two passes.'
'Thanks.' She said with a big smile.
'You'll need to let me know who you're bringing because they'll need the names at Security.' Chris added. 'I'm guessing it'll be Viv or Ella?'
'Oh God, not Ella!' Becca laughed. 'I wouldn't do that to everyone - especially not Chris Hemsworth.'
Scotty looked at her, curiously.
'Ella's got a massive crush on Hemsworth, and if she actually met him in the flesh I honestly don't know what she'd do.' Becca admitted. 'She can be a bit OTT at the best of times.'
'I remember her reaction to meeting me.' Chris chuckled. 'I think she said 'Holy fucking shit, it's Captain America!' Or something like that.' He explained to Scotty and Carly.
'Yeah, well imagine that reaction times about a million.' Becca said.
'Yeah, some people really go to pieces when they meet their crush.' Scotty said in a teasing voice.
'Shut up Scott.' Carly gritted out, her face going red.
'Oh man! You know you're in trouble when she calls you Scott.' Chris laughed.
Carly shot Chris a dirty look. 'You can shut up, too. I blame you for the whole thing - you set it up.'
Chris laughed loudly.
Becca watched the interaction between the siblings with amusement.
Carly looked over at Becca. 'I'm sure that he's told you in excruciating detail about how much I messed up when I met Keanu Reeves? These two assholes find it funny.'
'Not really - he said that you got a bit flustered, but that was it.'
'Excuse me a second.' Chris said, getting up and walking away.
Where's he going?
'A bit flustered? I wish! I totally humiliated myself!' Carly cried.
Becca gave Carly a sympathetic smile. 'I can relate to that.'
'You? But you seem okay with the whole fame thing - apart from getting embarrassed when fans come over.' Carly said. 'You certainly seem very relaxed around Chris.'
'You wouldn't be saying that if you'd seen me on Wednesday.' Becca admitted.
'Why? What happened Wednesday?'
'I met the rest of the actors from The Avengers - you know, Robert, Mark, Hemsworth and Renner.' Becca shook her head. 'I really embarrassed myself.'
'Did you tell them you loved them?' Carly said with a smile. 'Because that's what I told Keanu Reeves.'
Becca laughed. 'You didn't!'
'Yes, she did.' Chris said, sitting back down.
'I meant to say that I loved his films, but it came out wrong.' Carly moaned. 'And then the more I tried to explain myself, the worse it seemed to get. Poor man looked terrified by the end of it. He's probably filed a restraining order.'
Chris chuckled. 'It wasn't that bad. He was fine.'
'Yes, he was very polite.' Carly admitted. 'He's a real gentleman.'
'So, what did you do?' She asked Becca.
'I went completely mute. For about five minutes I was just struck dumb because I was so overwhelmed to meet them. They were talking to me and everything, and I just stood there, staring. It was mortifying.'
'It got better though.' Chris added.
'Yeah, it got better.' Becca agreed. 'By the end of the evening it was almost normal. By the way, did you know that Robert has got his own private library? Complete with Sherlock Holmes first editions? The book nerd in me was so jealous.'
Chris smiled and looked at his watch. 'It's almost time to meet Nick and Ryan, so we're going to have to get a move on soon.'
'Sure, I'll just get the waiter for the check.' Scotty said.
'It's already dealt with.'
'Oh, we normally split it.' Scotty replied.
'Not tonight.' Chris said firmly.
'We'll go out through the back.' He added, pulling his cap down over his face.
'Got your disguise back on?' Becca joked, thinking that the cap might hide his face, but it did nothing to disguise the sheer physical size of him.