☂︎︎Cocky ☂︎︎ | Five x Female Reader

Valhalla

"Last time I tried, I scattered my family across five years in Dallas, Texas, possibly triggering a doomsday. Anymore question's, Elliot?" Five asked, turning to the man with a newly poured cup of coffee.

"Uh, no."

"You're all missing the big picture here." Diego spoke up. "Dad is the ringleader of a sinister cabal that's planning to kill the president."

"A cabal?" Luther asked with his mouth full.

"Ignore him." Five said. "Look, the way I see it, we only have one option."

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?" Asked the big man. You slammed your head onto the table and groaned.

"It's time to get the Umbrella academy back together."

"Hell yeah.." Diego muttered, before standing, walking over to you. He scooped you up and spun you around. "Family meeting!"

"Well, then can one of you guys get Allison please?" Luther asked, fiddling with his fork.

"You two still a thing?" Diego turned to him. Luther scoffed.

Diego leaned forward. "Do we need to talk?"

"No. She's married."

You gasped softly as you walked over to Five.

"Hey. Look at me." You gently grabbed his chin while you whispered. "Maybe going to Dad isn't the best idea."

Five sighed and looked down, before looking back up at you. "It's the only idea I've got."

You turned to your brothers while they talked about Allison.

Five reached up, pulling your hand off him. "I'll get her. Luther, can you get Vanya without, uh. squeezing her to death?"

"I'll try."

Five jumped, before Elliot turned to you all. You leaned against the stove with your arms crossed.

"What should I do?" Elliot asked.

Diego smiled to you. "Prepare for company."

~~~

"Ya'll know, Jell-O used to be a delicacy."

You laid half-asleep in Diego's lap as Elliot ranted about some disgusting dessert he had made. He gently stroked your hair with his left hand, while flipping a knife in his right.

"It wasn't until a bunch of sassy NewYorkers figured out how to dry it out so the rest of us could have... a chance to enjoy this ambrosia."

"If we have some, will you shut up?" Diego asked, taking a strand of your hair and twisting it around his finger as your half lidded eyes stared at the kitchen.

"...Maybe."

Luther tried not to gag at the meal, before turning to Vanya. "How you feeling?"

"Pretty shitty to be honest."

"Where would you say you are on a scale from one to... ending all life on this planet?" Diego asked, letting go of the hair strand that was now slightly curled.

"Really?"

"Diego, put the knife away, you idiot. She's fine." Luther said, leaning forward.

"Last time I saw this one, she had me suspended midair, sucking the life out of me with energy tentacles. I think I'm allowed a little time to process."

"Oh, I would love to see an energy tentacle." Elliot whispered.

"I don't remember what I did, but I'm sorry... if that means anything."