Pocket Full of Lightning

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"I am so confused

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"I am so confused."

"Shocking."

"Hey, be nice." You scolded the bickering children.

"Well, someone killed our mothers, so we shouldn't exist." Viktor explained. "But clearly, we do exist, and the universe can't handle it, which is a problem."

"Big problem." Five confirmed.

"I feel like Benedict Cumberpatch." You mused, sighing and leaning your chin in your palm. "All I need now is a cloak."

"Yah!"

"Stanley!" Diego yelled. "Now is not the time to be doing karate, okay?!"

"Yeah, well, Mom said I need to practice." Your nephew spat back.

"Yeah, well, she's not wrong. You're very bad." Diego began to flip his knife in his hand.

"Yeah, well, I saved your pathetic ass!"

"You two say 'yeah, well' a lot." You rubbed your temple.

"Okay, hold on," Allison spoke up. "Five, so we caused a paradox. What does that mean?"

"It's hard to say. It's all been theoretical until now, but things have started to disappear." Five answered, as you motioned to Chet to bring you a drink.

"What things?" Viktor asked.

"Right now? Uh, lobsters."

"Cows! So many cows!" You wailed, tears in your eyes as Chet placed a margarita in front of you.

Five smacked his lips awkwardly, before continuing. "But I have a feeling this is just the beginning."

"A feeling? Aren't you two retired?" Allison spat.

You scoffed, creasing your eyebrows and flaring your nostrils.

"We want nothing more." Five complained.

"You know, you can't keep dragging us through hell because you have an itch only an apocalypse can scratch and then expect us to deal with the fallout."

"Well, unfortunately," you took a sip from your drink, "We're stuck saving your incompetent asses from whatever trouble you cause."

"IT'S NOT VIKTOR. IT'S NOT FIVE. IT'S ALL OF YOU."

You groaned, rubbing your forehead.

"Are you already drunk?" Klaus asked.

"Shut up."

"You two aren't the bosses!" Allison yelled.

"Fine, we're the messengers, and we're telling you that something terrible is coming." Five looked Allison dead in the eyes.

"Then let's go attack the Sparrows, get the briefcase, and go home," Allison said like it was the simplest thing.

"This is our home now." You looked at Allison. "Learn to accept it."

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