ASLIHAN SULTAN ✔️

17th Chapter

In the next time, I've felt a lot bad. Bayezid always told me he loves only me, but he didn't even call for me. And a month passed since everyone found out Defne is pregnant. Hurrem Sultana decided to stay with us in Kutahya for some time, and I didn't know the real reason why is she staying here for so long.

Bayezid gave his all attention to Defne and that made me crazy. I went to visit him few times, but every time I came to his doors, main door keeper told me he is with Defne or that he is busy.

Maybe I was too naive to believe in all his words? Maybe all his words were fake. I knew he wanted to get child so hard, but that wasn't real reason to abandon me.

He even gave Defne her own chambers, and usually maids could get them only when they give a birth to son.

Every day I've felt more and more stupid because I believed him in his words which obviously were lies.

Hurrem Sultana noticed his behaviour towards me and she started to make fun of me in front of whole harem. Every time I walked into harem I could hear maids telling me: "Oh, Prince's love for you lasted for sooooo looong!" and that annoyed and hurt me a lot.

It hurted me because everything they said was true. I knew I had a option to leave harem whenever I want to, and I really started thinking about that decision.

Being in harem without Bayezid's love was like being in prison to me. I had nothing to lose anymore. I had no one in harem, and I had no one outside.

I have some of money so I could afford myself a rent for house somewhere, or to return to Istanbul to my father's house.

That idea sounded better and better to me everyday. I talked with Bulbul-aga about my idea and he was really disappointed in that. He didn't want me to leave, but he understood my pain. He promised me he wont tell this to anyone.

And thats why I asked him to find me a place to leave in Kutahya, at least for a short time. Until I get ready to return to Istanbul.

And Bulbul-aga found me a house. I could rent it in house of old nurse which sometimes works in palace. I've found that as good idea because anything would be better to me than harem in this situation.

That cold night, I packed all my things. Cevri Kalfa and Bulbul-aga helped me to pack it all. I decided I won't take any of Bayezid's gifts with myself, because I didn't want to have anything that is his anymore.

First, I decided to visit Hurrem Sultan and tell everything to her. I came inside and bowed to her.
- Aslihan, what wind blowed you here? - she asked me and laughed.

- I wanted to inform you I am going to leave the harem. - I told her not caring about her reaction.
- I can't do anything to force you here. If that's your wish, you can do it. Did you find a place to live? - she asked me and for the first time she seemed like she cares, when she asked me did I find a place to live.

- Don't worry, I found it. - I told her.
- Do you need any help with that? - she asked me and she surprised me a lot with her words. Like this wasn't Hurrem Sultana I fighted with a month ago.

- I have everything I need, Sultana. Thanks for your offer. - I told her and bowed. I started walking towards the doors, but she stopped me.

- Aslihan, how did you decide you want to leave? Did Bayezid do something wrong to you? - she stood up and asked me confusedly.

Wow, I would never except this from Hurrem. Like this was another person in her body.

- I don't want to be here anymore. He can enjoy his life with his wife and I hope his child will be bornt healthy. - I smiled to her.

- You should have talked with him instead of leaving the palace. - she told me.
- There is nothing to talk to him when he is always busy to even see me. - I fake smiled as my words hurted me so much.

- As you wish, Aslihan. Take care of yourself. - she told me with a weird smile, and I bowed to her for the last time.

I wasn't sure if I should go to see Bayezid for the last time, but I decided I will. I wanted to see him for the last time and show me how he hurted me and why I am doing all of this.

I came to the doors of his chambers.
- Hasodabasa, I want to see Prince. - I said to him.
- I am sorry, Prince is with Defne Hatun. - Hasodabasa said to me.
- I want to talk with him about something important, please. - I begged him as I really wanted to talk with him for the last time.

And Hasodabasa listened to me. He went inside to ask Prince if he will accept me. After a minute, he came back.
- Aslihan Hatun, I am sorry. Prince said you can come later. - he said and looked at me as he was really sorry for what happened.

Those words hurted me even more. Now I didn't even feel any love anymore when he doesn't want to see me. I hope he will feel so bad when he finds out he could have seen me for the last time, but Defne was more important to him.

- There will be no later. - I told to Hasodabasa and left the Palace.

I went in front of the Kutahya Palace and looked at it for the last time. I thought this place is going to be my home and place where I will spend my most beautiful days with love of my life, but instead it was place where I was hurt like never before. Place where I left all my tears.

I know I am going to miss this place, but I will try to make myself forget about it. I will try to make myself forget about Bayezid and everything what happened.

I came in front of carriage which would take me to my new home. Bulbul-aga and Cevri Kalfa followed me there.

- Aslihan, we are going to miss you so much! - Bulbul said and hugged me.
- I am going to miss you two so much! - I told and hugged Cevri.

I became really close with them and I was sorry because I had to leave this place. But I had to do it for myself.

I came into carriage and removed the necklace which Bayezid gave me. I putted it in a little box, just to have it as a memory, but I would never ever wear it again.

From now on I don't want to be Aslihan anymore, I want to return to my old life, to be Nadia.

Carriage took me to the old house which was really similiar to the one I've lived in Istanbul. I opened the doors and saw old lady which was working as a nurse in palace.

- Aslihan Hatun, you are more beautiful than they talked about you! Welcome! - she said and smiled to me.
-Thank you, but you can call me Nadia instead. - I gave her a weak smile.

She awaited me with a dinner. She showed me my room which was very small, but I appericated it. Sleeping on the street would have been better to me than spending night crying in harem.

- My name is Beyaz, and I want you to feel like home here. - she smiled to me.
- Thank you! - I told her as we started to eat the dinner.

- And, why did you left our Prince and palace? - she asked me with a lot of interest, but I decided to say nothing.
- I want that to stay in the past. I don't want to remember about that anymore. - I told her as I was trying to forget about everything.

I was trying to forget about all beautiful and ugly days spent in that palace. All my smiles and all my tears. I wanted to forget all of it and start new chapter of my life.