Beomgyu's Reasons Why [ BeomJun/ YeonGyu / TaeGyu ]

TAPE 2, SIDE B

"Ah," Soobin sighed, taking out his needed books from his grey locker, "I knew you'd come around. I knew you just needed time to--"

"Just tell me already."

The elder's features softened at his friend's desperate tone, "Uh, I don't know. The higher-ups are the ones who decide."

Soobin closed his locker, motioning to Taehyun for them to keep walking through the corridor to their next class. 

"Hyung, what did they make you do?" 

Taehyun's heartfelt question silenced Soobin. He did a double take before replying, "You don't wanna know."

"If you don't tell me... then how am I supposed to prepare myself for what they're gonna make me do?"

"Rely on your determination, Taehyun."

Soobin paused.

"The ends would justify the means," he continued. Taehyun's heart skipped a beat. 

Whatever the ZEETA superiors had in store for his initiation... was it that bad?

His hyung noticed the change in Taehyun's demeanor. "Okay, fine," Soobin said, nudging the younger, "If it makes you feel better. ZEETA asked me to publish something in the publication's official site. Anonymously." 

Soobin stopped walking. "What I did... it messed me up. For days. I doubt you'd know about it since... you barely read the online broadsheets... and you stopped caring about Beom--" the elder stopped himself, "Yeah. That's it... they made me publish a libelous article."

"And... the admins never did anything about it? What the fuck, hyung?"

Soobin flinched at the harshness of Taehyun's voice.

"ZEETA has a hold over the school's administration, Tyun. In case you haven't noticed. I'm starting to believe the principal hasn't ended the ZEETAs operations because he himself was a member in his time." Soobin leaned on the wall next to his classroom's door. The bell would ring soon.

"Hyung... but you don't seem like a person who would write to destroy someone's reputation."

Taehyun wasn't aware of the weight of what Soobin had done, and he wondered how Soobin spoke of his initiation like a walk in the park.

"Being in the frat would change you, Taehyun. Challenge you... take you out of your comfort zone." 

Before Taehyun could reply, the school bell rang, signifying the start of their classes.

-

Alas, the day has come. The day that his father left his mother, leaving them both in financial distress. Taehyun cared about his mother, and her knowing the truth was probably better than living with a cheater for the rest of her days. 

Just like Mr. Kim had said, Taehyun had a high chance of being the school's valedict, hence giving maintaining his scholarship... all thanks to ZEETA.

Taehyun didn't feel like comforting his mother, he didn't even feel like comforting himself. 

Maybe deep inside, Taehyun thought he deserved the pain and guilt brought about by Beomgyu's tapes.  

He took the next tape and pressed play, still in his bed, hoping the universe would just swallow him whole.

"Ah, but... I couldn't really hate Hoseok hyung. You were really a great student, anyway. I'm just a try hard. Speaking of you being great... this tape is all about you, Yeonjun hyung... 

and how much I love you," Beomgyu let out a chuckle, "Yeah, love. Even after you chose that ZEETA guy over me... I couldn't help myself. I still love you, until now. How's that for an unhealthy confession?

I've never dabbled in that 'try to move on' bullshit. I mean... if I'm gonna leave soon and my heart and mind wants you to be the last one it remembers, then so be it.

You've always been the sort of person who'd win the heart of any one you'd come across. But you tried to win me over intentionally, didn't you? God, why didn't I learn my lesson? That... once someone tries to get my attention, it's usually only to take advantage of me, or hurt me... I should've learned from the shit Taehyun did. 

But, how could I ignore you? 

I'm gonna be honest here and say that I hated you for taking Hoseok hyung's attention. But don't worry, I'm used to it. I'm used to being temporary. Stupid of me to think you were going to stay for longer.

You noticed I resented you... so you tried your best to get closer to me. And it worked.

Until... you heard the rumors about me. Honestly, I thought the rumors about me being ZEETA's slut would cause you to avoid me. but you didn't.

And maybe that's why I love you. 

Because you're Choi Yeonjun, the one who... loved me... but didn't chose me."