(kuroken fanfic)

🦋~Part 3~🦋

Kenma got off the train around 4:30 in the morning, when he had awoken both the college students and the younger girl were gone. He was drained and cold but determined, determined to see Kuroo, he needed to make sure he was okay.

He took an uber to the hospital, as soon as he stepped out a sinking feeling filled his stomach, the florescent lights shined harshly, burning his pupils. He ducked his head and stepped inside, he checked in at the desk.

"Name?"

"Kozume Kenma."

"Who are you visiting?"

"Tetsuro Kuroo."

A whining noise filled the room as the desk attendant printed out his name tag, she glanced at her computer and pointed him to the left hallway.

"He is on floor 3, room 2b."

Kenma nodded and headed down the hall.

He wasn't prepared to see Kuroo, his mom had said he was okay but his mom had a tendency to sugar-coat things. Kenma walked up the steps, his feet felt heavy, as if he had tied weights to them. He drifted through the halls aimlessly, he knew where Kuroo was, he could feel him, he didn't need someone to tell him.

His breathing stopped, Kuroo was not okay, he had bruised down the side of his face, there was a jagged cut down his collarbone, his legs were under the sheets but his arms were bad, really bad. Stitches lined his skin, creating an ugly criss cross pattern. That was when he noticed Kuroo's neck, just below his chin was another line of stitches that carried from the left side of his throat all the way to the right side. Kenma's legs shook, he couldn't stand, couldn't breath. He tried to focus on something else, anything else other than Kuroo, his vision shook. Suddenly he heard a voice, calming and deep.

"Kitten?"

"Kuroo?" Kenma's lungs seemed to stop working for a moment.

"Aren't you working on that game, isn't it important?"

Not as important as you.

"Yeah I guess, but I wanted to visit you, y'know, to make sure you're okay."

Kuroo let out a strangled sounding laugh and winced.

"What... What happened?"

"Some dumb ass was speeding and lost control, my car was flipped upside down."Kuroo scowled for a second but than smiled up at Kenma,"I should thank him though, you finally visited!".

Kenma glared at Kuroo, "What about the stitches, are you gonna be okay?".

Kuroo gaze blurred for a second before he responded, "No."

Kenma furrowed his brows, "What do you mean?"

Kuroo's eyes looked glazed over, "The doctor said I'm not gonna be okay".

"He said that?".

Kuroo looked into Kenma's eyes, that was when Kenma realized his eyes weren't glazed over, they were brimming with tears,

"Im paralyzed from the waist down Kenma.".

Kenma suddenly felt as if someone had removed his stomach, he felt empty, suddenly a horrible feeling rose up the back of his throat. Tears started falling from his eyes, he wasn't crying, there was no sound just tears, falling silently onto the beige hospital room floor. He felt like he was choking.

"Kitty, don't cry, please, please" Kuroo clenched his teeth as he struggled to keep his breathing even.

Kenma stood there, his tears built up to heavy silent sobs that racked through his body, he doubled over and tried to refrain from throwing up.

"Kenma-" Kuroo's voice broke as he breathed sharply, forcing air through his clenched teeth.

Kenma couldn't stand up, if was like someone had taken a knife and was pushing it through his midsection slowly. The silent sobs tore through him like waves through a still lake.

"How-How can you be paralyzed?"

"I don't know Kenma."

"What about Nekoma?", that was part of the reason Kuroo had stayed in their hometown, he had decided to coach the Nekoma boys volleyball team, apparently he was very active in the practices.

Kuroo choked, "I don't know, I don't know like anything right now, they won't tell me anything! They-!" Kuroo's voice cracked and he visibly winced. "They said that they don't know anything for sure, I- I can't do it".

Kenma froze, everything felt frozen, like a dream, this had to be a dream, it had to be.

"I don't know whats going on, they won't tell me anything, my throat hurts, I-" Kuroo's voice caught for a moment, "I'm really scared Kenma, I cant feel my legs Kenma." His mouth remained open, distinct fear and almost betrayal shone through Kuroo's hazel eyes. Tears had trickled down his face, he looked tired and sickly.

"This should have happened to me."

Kuroo looked up, his eyes portrayed a certain concern that he only had ever seen in Kuroo's eyes.

"Kenma, no I-"

"No! It should have happened to me, I'm the lazy one, I don't try, I have no interests, no drive! I did nothing after high school, the only accomplishment I've ever had is stupid volleyball! And guess what," Kenma's voice cracked, his eyes were wide open, shaking ever so slightly, "That was you! You made me do it! I don't want to do anything, you want to, I deserve this, not you! Not the Nekoma coach! Me, I deserve it!". Kenma's voice broke, his throat felt raw. He felt more tears stream down his face.

"Kenma, please,please don't say that, this can't happen to you, it would kill me, please, please Kitty." Kuroo looked up at Kenma with a certain longing, as if he wanted so bad to protect Kenma, to hold him.

Kenma hung his head, "This is gonna kill me, you do realize that don't you". Kenma closed his eyes, as if he was attempted to stop the tears that were spooling out. "This can't be happening, not to you, you have a career, a commitment".

Kenma's eyes scanned the room, everything was white or gray, a boring combination, there were several machines hooked up to Kuroo, all of them silent which made Kenma feel uncertain and even more worried. Over on the bed side table there were three pill containers,

"What are those for," Kenma said, his arms limply hung by side.

"There's one for pain, one for infection and one for..." He paused and glanced up at Kenma, his eyes still red from crying, "One is for breathing problems.".

"Breathing problems?"

"Yeah, my throat, it was cut really bad and sometimes I'll have trouble breathing, and talking."

Kenma couldn't believe it, he felt like he was being buried alive, everything Kuroo said was another shovel full of dirk, choking him, covering him until he couldn't see or hear anything, all he could feel was cold wet darkness.

Kenma sat down in the chair opposite from the bed,

"I'm staying here tonight."

"Kenma-"

"I'm not leaving you Kuroo."

Not again.