The VLC - Adelaide

Innocence Gained

We were supposed to have a Saturday practice and I had completely forgotten. It was two o'clock in the afternoon before I remembered and practice had ended at noon. Gavin and I had fallen asleep on Erika's couch, just leaning on one another. When we woke up, it was still dark outside. Gavin roused the other guys from their comas and insisted they leave. There was a lot of moaning and groaning, but eventually they followed him outside and they drove away. My mom picked me up at eight. I was nervous she might know, somehow, that I had been drinking, that Gavin had been with me, but she seemed unaware of anything. It was nice to have parents that were so sheltered themselves that they would not even think to suspect some of the things that I had been doing. She didn't seem surprised that I wanted to go back to sleep. She chalked it up to girls staying up late, talking about boys, and doing whatever else it was she thought girls do at slumber parties. If she only knew, it would be the end of me. So, I slept right through the reminder on my phone. I slept through the call from one of teammates, and would probably be benched for the meet the following week. Gavin's text had woken me up.

"You should go for a run and meet me in the park."

"I missed practice today."

"Crap."

"Yeah, I am screwed."

"Well then, you really need to go for a run. Maybe your amazing performance Thursday will influence your coach's decision."

"Maybe. See you in thirty?"

"Okay"

When I made it to the park, I was already drenched. Gavin was waiting. I walked hesitantly towards him. I wasn't sure what he was going to say about the night before. I started to talk, but he drew me into his arms. When I tried to speak again, he wrapped them around me tighter. He was so strong; I thought he might crush me. Holding my face in his hands, he leaned down and brushed his lips across mine. "I won't stop worrying about you, you know."

"I know." I responded.

"Maybe we should start communicating more." He led me towards the swings. "I will try to ask you questions before I make assumptions."

"I could probably make some better decisions and then you wouldn't have to ask." I pushed my legs out, swinging into the air.

"No more drinking?" He asked.

"No more drinking." I said. Stopping the swing, I turned and looked at him. "Are you going to miss it?"

"The drinking? No, it really isn't important. If I got to the point where I couldn't live without it, there would really be a problem. Besides, someone has to look out for my friends. They are never going to give it up."

"What about the other thing?" I hesitated to ask.

"What other thing?"

I looked down at my feet. "The reason you ignored me the other day. The reason you broke up with Becca."

"Oh, that." Gavin took a breath. "Addy, you are only a freshman, and Becca was just in eighth grade. We had known each other forever, but I still didn't think it was the right time. Becca didn't understand. She was furious. We fought about it for hours, but she ultimately said I was rejecting her, and treating her like a child, and that she didn't want to be with me anymore. She broke it off. I didn't, don't, want to be the guy that changes everything for you. " I met his eyes. He reached for my hand and pulled my swing in next to his. "It does change everything, you know. It makes everything too serious. Becca was mad because I said she was too young to make that decision. I was just beginning my sophomore year myself. This is high school. We don't need to grow up so fast. I have already made so many bad choices. I can't participate in anything you might regret. I care about you too much."

"Are you going to get tired of me, of being with someone you think is too young to take it any further?"

Gavin laughed, "I might get tired of your stubbornness, but I can just kiss that out of you. But, no, I don't need what you think I need, to be happy with you." He got up, and pulled me off the swing. "I just want to keep spending time with you, getting to know you, without complicating things. Is that okay?" He waited for an answer.

"Yeah, I think I like that idea."

Gavin put his arms around my waist and kissed away all of my concerns.

My coach was furious. He ripped into me as soon as I emerged from the locker room. I had been warned by the other girls, but I still found him incredibly frightening and intimidating. As expected, I would not be able to compete in the meet on Thursday. My parents wouldn't understand why, and I wasn't sure how I would explain it to them. After thoroughly chewing me out, he told me to get running and that he had some special drills in mind for me that day.

I was more than sore by the time I got home. Everything ached. I supposed I deserved it, but he had been brutal. I vowed to prove myself at practice every day in the hope that it might show my commitment.

After my conversation with Gavin, I was feeling more confident than ever. The new understanding between us helped relieve some of my need to try to fit in with his friends, or somehow make it seem like I was more mature. I could just be me, and do the things that mattered to me instead of getting caught up in all of the drama. Running, was one of those things.

Fortunately, my parents couldn't make it to the track meet on Thursday, so I got away with that one. It was hard to watch the girl who took my place. She wasn't nearly as fast as I was.

On Friday, the VLC got together at Ashleigh's house. I had decided to fill the girls in on my conversation with Gavin.

"We had the talk." I said.

"The talk?" Ashleigh asked.

"Yes."

"And..." Marley jumped in clearly wondering whether or not she would be pleased with the outcome of the discussion.

I told them the whole story, even the details about his relationship with Becca. When I finished, they were all smiling.

"Maybe I was wrong about him." Liz said. "It sounds like he has recognized his evil ways," she smirked, "and has decided to be honorable."

I hit her with one of the couch pillows. "This isn't the eighteen hundreds. You make it sound so corny."

Ashleigh said, "That must have been awkward."

"Well, yeah, a little, but it had to happen! He is a junior. Of course I am going to assume that eventually he would want to do that."

She laughed at me. "You can't even say the word! That conversation really must have been uncomfortable."

"Honestly, I didn't say it when I talked to him either."

"How can you be sure you were actually talking about the same thing then? Maybe he thought you were talking about cooking him dinner. We know you are a terrible cook."

"I am not! Home Ec was not a good indicator. I was distracted!"

"I don't know if I could do it." Marley joined in. "I mean, talk about it with a guy. I would be so nervous."

"I was. Anyway, I am glad we worked it out. I think things will be even better from now on. At least I know where we stand." I decided not to tell them about the drinking. It wouldn't happen again, and what they didn't know couldn't hurt them.