Can you make me smile again? [ZhanYi FF]✔️

-9-

"I want a relationship with you, ZhanZhan." I said.

"I want that too, Yibo. I want to be with you very much. We can take it slow. After all, this is your first relationship with a man."

"Mmm. But not too slow." I said it laughing.

I don't think I've ever been that happy. And the best thing is, since Zhan has been in my life and by my side, nothing bad has happened to me. There were many good moments and nothing happened afterwards that would ruin the good moments.

And even though I have never been in a relationship with a man before, it feels right for me. It's like after a long search, I finally arrived. I did not know what or who I was looking for. But now it feels as if I am finally here.

Zhan was holding me tight. In his arms, I don't care about anything else. It's been three months since I first saw him, and although he didn't take my breath away, which was already causing the panic attack, he left me almost speechless because of his good looks.

And honestly? I think it would have been the same between him and me, even if I hadn't had this panic attack. I think we immediately felt attracted to each other. It just took me a little longer to realize that. But now that I can finally admit to myself that I love Zhan, now that I'm finally with him, I won't let him go.

From today on, Zhan is mine and I will keep him forever! This time nothing and no one will destroy my happiness. I am very sure of that.

When Zhan's mother called to ask if we arrived safely, Zhan grinned and said, "Mhm, very well. The roads had all been clear." It had snowed a lot in the past days and it was unclear if we could even get to the cabin.

Zhan looked at me and asked me, "Do you want to say something to my mother?" I nodded. He gave me the phone and my heart was pounding like crazy.

I walked out the door and said to Zhan's mother, "We're a couple now."

And she was like, "Who? You and Zhan?"

I was all excited, "Yes. Zhan and I love each other and we're a couple now."

And she's like, "Ha-ha-ha, that's great. That's great news. I'm so happy for you both." I could hear in her voice that she was really happy.

Just a week ago she and I were sitting together over a hot cup of tea and she asked me how I felt about Zhan. I told her, "I love him. But I don't know if he has feelings for me. And I'm a little scared too, because I've never been with a man before."

She stroked my hands and said, "Then find out how he feels about you. I know it, but you have to find out for yourself. Why don't you use your weekend in the mountain cabin for that?"

"You think so? And if he likes me too, would you mind if we came together?"

"Why should we mind? As you know, we like you very much and we'd really love it."

"Wow, that makes me happy. Do you think it's gonna be weird?"

"Weird? Why?"

"Well, if he and I are going to have a relationship."

"It's not going to be that different for you than it is now. You guys cuddle day and night anyway. Only then, kissing and sex will follow."

And that's what scared me. Sex with a man had been completely unthinkable for me before. But now I thought about it very, very often and asked myself how it would be.

But, Zhan's mother even took the time to explain to me what I have to watch out for, what we have to think about. And finally, she also said, "You can rely on Zhan completely and trust him. I'm sure he knows exactly how to do it and will certainly make sure you enjoy it."

I was sure of that too. But still the fear remained. I read a lot about it and also that it can be painful. And that worried me.

But now, in this moment, my worries were forgotten, as far as that was concerned. Because, I know, just because we are a couple now, Zhan won't want to sleep with me right away. He himself just said that we take our time.

Zhan's mother immediately told her husband and he was also happy and said: "Finally. It was about time. I thought you guys needed help."

"Ha ha, no. It just took me a while to understand how I feel about him." I said.

"Well, as long as you know now and you're happy." He said.

Zhan came outside and put a blanket on me and then he went back in. And that is why I love him. He's caring and loving and so much more.

After a few minutes we finished the phone call and I went back inside to Zhan. He was sitting on the sofa. I ran to him, hopped on the sofa and snuggled up to him. "Well, what does she say?" He asked me.

"She was really happy. And your dad was happy too." I told him proudly.

"I thought so. They really like you a lot."

"I really like them, too. It's like having parents again. Too bad they're not."

"Well, don't let them hear that. You know, to my parents, you're already family. So I like sharing my parents with you. And I'm sure my little brother has no objections either."

"Oh, you're so great. I don't know what I did to deserve such a wonderful boyfriend like you."

"Don't say such things. If anyone deserves something good, it's you, my little baby." He called me that a lot and I like it.

We'll continue in the next chapter...