bleeding love

Do you know?

The nightmare with Mazza that morning was still stuck in my head when I woke up after deciding to take a nap after the nightmare, and clear my head. So, quick run over what had happened so far:

Lucy was an obsessed, childish drama Queen, she was in love with Hans and wasn't thinking about sharing him. It shocked me how much I knew about Lucy already, actually.

Edward was... edward. What else was there, really, to say? He was a paranoid, typical vampire who tended to act annoying. He was obsessed with ME, but had (apparently!) given up on me now.

Hans. Well, I knew Hans well. He'd do anything to protect his friends and family, he was a hunter, a fighter, and currently off limits to me because of his resent change.

And then there was Damien. Oh god, Damien. He was mr big bad vamp, but it was obvious he DID have feelings, even if he rarely showed them. He CLEARLY had feelings for ME. He'd do anything for the ones he loved, which, I guess, if you pared them up and really THOUGHT about it, made Damien and Hans actually quite alike.

Who else? Well, only ME. I was... changing, no matter how hard I tried not to. I COULD be nice, I COULD be fun, I really could! But while all this was going on I just couldn't do it. No matter how much I wanted it.

No matter how much Damien wanted it.

I took another shower, and again let the water take me to a distant place. It took me the heaven... and sometimes to hell. My angel didn't seem to be there, though. Whatever the reason, I wasn't sure I'd ever see her again.

I hadn't even learnt her name.

Everything was strange now. I couldn't figure anything out anymore, no matter how hard I tried. But that was OK now. I didn't mind all that much. I understood things that were going on with ME. I was in a sea of darkness, and no one was there to fish me out. No one to play mr rescue.

And I wasn't OK anymore. Nothing was OK. And I wasn't going to pretend. Because even if I wanted it, god I wanted it SO BADLY, but there was no use wanting it anymore. I-want-doesn't-get, my mum used to tell me. Now I understand what she meant. And you know what? I was ready. I wasn't going to hide anymore.

Just thought I'd say that before I walk into my death, and expect LUCY, of all people, to help me. Yeah, good luck, guardian angel, 'cause you're gonna have trouble protecting me for this one.

But I no longer need protecting.

Teddy : stubborn, caring, fiery, worried, scared.

***

AGAIN, IMPORTANT NOTICE!!! IN CASE YOU ARE ONE OF THE BORED ONES!!!! This chapters a kind of revision, because I have been told that there needs to be a bit of update on the characters. This is gonna be a long one! If you feel you know the characters well enough already, Soz but you'll miss part of the story if you skip this one! If not, enjoy! Oh, that was Teddy's, by the way! Oh, and the last bit: The first 4 words describe the character, the last word how the characters feeling!

***

Edward

That wasn't easy. But it's never easy, is it? The girls a rascal, and a right old rat to handle. But that's what I like about her, I guess. I know what I told her, but I don't really think I can give up that easily. And if things with her and Damien don't work out, I am going to go knocking. I'm still out there, and I'm still ready for the fight. Yeah, sorry 'bout that.

Anyway, standing there, watching her freak out like that... that actually HURT. While she tried so hard, as I knew, to understand, I knew she couldn't, and probably never would. She didn't understand Damien, even less me, she didn't understand Lucy, heck, she didn't even understand HANS. Not properly, anyway. She didnt need to try and find out yet. There was someone else she really needed to find first.