Amore pericoloso

Chapter 8

Lorenzo

It didn't take Katherine long to get ready to leave. As I sat in the living room of the safehouse, I could feel the fire burning in me again. She had said no. But why was I surprised? Hurt even, when I had no right to be. This was never a life she was going to agree too. I should have known that.

But still, when she said those final words, making her decision

that much more final, I felt it. The pang in my chest that told me that this would be the last time I saw her. Then I felt something else, the rage I so often try to bury around her, resurfacing. It was protecting me from the pang in my chest, forcing me to think about other things. Afraid to lash out, I left her in the room all alone, without saying another word.

Gio knew as soon as he saw me. His kind green eyes turned worried and he quickly looked down. "Take her home." I said, surprised by the amount of venom my voice held. I sighed. "Today."

"Are you sure that is what you want?" he stared. "We could give it another day to..."

I cut him off. "Today."

I saw him get up and head into her room. I heard them rummage around and gather the few things she would be taking with her. She exited quickly, head down, careful not to look in my direction. Gio followed her out the front door, but not before giving me one last look. I just glared at him. I had no time for games.

I was still in the same spot when Gio returned alone. I felt him come in and come over to me, almost like a scared animal. Was he afraid of what I would do? What I would say? He wasn't wrong, the burning in my chest was still just as bright, but I had it under control. Always under control.

"Lo..." he stared but I stopped him. I didn't need this. I didn't want this. He didn't need to protect me.

"Let's go. Be ready to leave in 10."

He said nothing, but rose to gather his things. I threw all of my stuff hastily in my bag and headed to the van. I needed to get out of that safe house. I needed to put as much distance between me and this city as possible.

I was not looking forward to this drive. While dropping Katherine off had been quick, our drive would not be. It took me nearly a full day to get to and back from my parents. With the line of work we do, we like to stay as remote as possible. Since my father and I have such a hard relationship, I no longer lived with them, but at my own compound with Gio. I sighed and turned the car on. Only about 5 hours to go until I was in my bed.

Gio entered the car silently, but I could tell he was itching to say something. Why? Why was he like this? Why can't he let everything go?

"What?" I asked. It came out much harsher than I intended but I couldn't help it. Gio was used to my moods, especially my bad ones. They never seemed to bother him. But today, he looked cautious. That made me curious. What was he thinking? He was still watching me. It looks like the gears were turning over and over in his head. "For crying out loud, Gio. Spit it out already."

"You didn't say goodbye."

"Your point?"

"I think you should. Go say goodbye, I mean."

I groaned. Why? Why must he be so good and kind? Why, for once, couldn't he let me walk away and not care about anyone feelings but my own?

"She made her choice." I said but my grip on the steering wheel tightened. The pang was back. "Also, in case you didn't notice," I said a bit quieter, "she didn't exactly say goodbye either."

He gave a hard sigh and his face looked scrunched up. He pinched the bridge of his nose, just as I do and as his father did, and sat quiet for a moment. When he finally looked up, his eyes were hard, and his tone was harsh. "Well of course she didn't. Why would she, when you all but ran away from her once she made her decision?"

I was stunned. Gio never got mad, especially at me. I went to open my mouth, to defend myself, but he kept going. "She is scared. Can you blame her? Her whole world has been changed in just a matter of a couple days. Then you treated her so coldly, I'm surprised she didn't run from us." he didn't stop. Every word cut into me a little deeper and deeper. "I think you really hurt her feelings. I think she needed to ask her to stay, and she would have. But here you are, so caught up in your own bullshit, you don't see what I see. You don't see how these few short days, she has made more change in you than anyone else in your whole life." and then he did it. He drove the nail right into my chest and tore it open with his next words. "You let her walk away."

I stayed quiet after he was finished. He was still glaring at me, and I knew in my soul, he was right. Did I push her away? Yes I did. What life is this for someone like her? Not to mention, I am no good to anyone who gets too close to me. I hurt people. I get them killed. My voice was almost inaudible when I spoke again. "I can't do this. Not to her."

He threw his hands up exasperated. "Oh come on Lo, cut the bullshit." he was getting angry again. "You can lie to everyone else, including yourself, but not to me. I see you. The real you. You are good. You are worthy. Deep down you know that." he sighed again and spoke with a gentleness now. "Doesn't it matter what she wants? Doesn't it matter that she may need you and want you as much as you do her?"

I was shocked. Could she want me? No. Not with how she reacted to know what we do. She looked scared. But was she? Or was there a darkness in her too that she fought against? Had I asked her, would she have stayed? I think back to our last moments together. She looked so sad, and I thought it was because she wanted to go home. But was it because I didn't say the right thing?

"For once in your life Lo," Gio said, "let go. Do the thing that scares you. Be the person you really are."

"What is her address?" I asked and put the car in drive. We pulled away, with Gio having this look on his face I don't think I've seen in a long time. Pride.

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Though her house was close, the sun was setting by the time we got back into the city. Her apartment building was small, and nothing to brag about, but it had a charm to it because of its age. The history that this build could probably tell would make some people blush, I was sure of that. But the city at sunset was something to behold. It was beautiful how the light bounced off all the buildings and reflected back. Gio gave me her apartment number and I went inside.

She, of course, had to be on the 5th floor of a building with no elevator. In a building this old it wasn't surprising that she would be here. I would assume the rent would be much more affordable. I walked slowly trying to collect my thoughts and figure out what to say. What should I say? Hey so sorry I didn't ask you to stay. I'm an idiot. Come home with me? I rolled my eyes at myself. Come on Lorenzo. You can do better than that.

When I reached her front door, I suddenly felt uneasy. Something was wrong. I pulled my gun out of the waistband of my black jeans. Slowly I approached the door, and I noticed it was already open. Shit.

I pushed it open slowly, peaking in as I did. My breath stopped. There, in front of me was my worst nightmare. There was Katherine, on her knees on the floor, hands tied together, and a gun at her head.