Withering petals of my hurting heart

Late Night Thoughts

One night, I lay with my friend under the same duvet

Our laughs ricocheted in the quiet

I ask my friend a simple question "Does this duvet feel like a cage to you?"

They reply with a confused mind

"What? This duvet is soft and warm. Why would it feel like a cage?"

But that's the beauty of it right?

We lie under the same sky

But how to perceive it, is something that we decide

This duvet feels like a cage to me

Not made of warm fur but instead of cold gold

The rods are a thick affair

Engraved with my past sins

And every time they touch my skin

It starts to bleed crimson pain

Oh, how ironic this scene is

Cause now I am bleeding the same blood that someone else bled

The pain I gave is the pain I get

Isn't my cage pretty, all gilded and gaudy?

But a cage is still a cage whether made of cheap bronze or expensive gold

While a caged withers away in the harsh cold

"Hey, are you okay?"

The million-dollar question has arrived

But you see it's not easy to define

A word that holds so much power over our daily lives

So today I ask myself again

Am I okay?

The answer is still unclear

What is okay here referring to?

Physically okay or mentally okay

What if it's referring to both?

Then the answer is no.

I am not okay.

The darkness in my mind is crippling

The numbness in my chest is paralyzing

My body is a war zone, with scars that do not stop bleeding

So, I say

"Oh, come on, I am perfectly fine."

Because I am not looking for pity in their eyes

It is too much an emotion for my fragile mind

And honestly, I don't know what I am looking for

Cause I've grown accustomed to this emptiness

And now even a small drop feels like an ocean.