Aberrant

Thirty-Nine: Dex

"Dauntless and Candor," I say immediately. It feels like an enormous weight is being lifted off my chest, now that I'm finally able to speak the truth. 

"Of course you did," she says, "What about you, Cal?"

"Amity and Abnegation," he says quietly. 

There's a silence, and then I ask, "You didn't get Dauntless?" Callum shakes his head. 

"But why did you stay in Dauntless? And how did you get through the first stage of training?" Plato asks, curious.

Lyra shoots us a look, "Stop with the questioning, guys. Can't you tell he's upset?" It's true. Callum is beginning to cry again. 

"Sorry," Plato apologises, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Callum holds up his hand, "It's ok. I stayed for lots of reasons. One," he holds up one finger, "I'm trans. I was born female. And I didn't know how Amity and Abnegation would take that."

There's a silence, before Lyra says softly, "Oh Cal." She scoots over to give him a hug and I see that she is crying too now.

"What do you mean you didn't know how Amity and Abnegation would take it?" I ask.

"Dex-" Plato begins warningly.

I cut him off, "There's are loads of trans people in Amity. One of my sister's best friends is trans. You would have fitted in fine with Amity. And Abnegation is so selfless that it doesn't matter about your gender and sexuality. You could have gone there too."

Callum shrugs, "I didn't realise," he admits finally, "I was too nervous to ask the Abnegation woman at the Aptitude test. She was already freaking out because I was a Divergent." He takes a breath, "Anyway, the second reason is," he holds up another finger, "I have four younger brothers. I didn't want to leave my family. And third-" he falters and stares at his fingers, "I...well...there's a group of younger Dauntless I'm sort of-" He trails off. 

"Callum's got a massive fan club here at Dauntless," Lyra declares. 

"Fan club?" Plato asks, curious. 

"He's inspired so many people here at Dauntless. He's like a role model here for the younger teenagers. He's been helping them with coming out and their mental health. Because, you know, Dauntless isn't exactly the nicest of factions." Lyra smiles. 

"I couldn't just abandon them!" Callum bursts out. There's a defiance in his eyes that wasn't there before.

Lyra squeezes his shoulder, "You're too caring for you're own good."

Callum takes a deep breath to compose himself and then turns back to Plato, "You asked how I got through training? I'm not brave but I am selfless. I wanted to show my brothers and all the younger Dauntless that they, like me, could become a proper Dauntless member. I knew it would make them so happy when I succeeded. I-" His voice starts to break up as he starts crying again, "I did it all for them. The jump into Dauntless. The fighting in the ring, even though it broke me to do it. The zipline. Everything."

Lyra smiles, "Callum, you're one of the bravest people I've ever met, you know that right?"

"Agreed," Plato says, and I'm surprised to see that there are tears in his eyes. #

"But I didn't get Dauntless," Callum says, flushing slightly. 

"Who cares?" Lyra laughs, "Dauntless and Abnegation are practically the same thing."

"Also," adds Plato, "It's impossible to get both Dauntless and Amity in the test because of all the variables. If the test was done differently, you'd probably get Dauntless. You're just as brave as the rest of us, if not more."