AS if i would write about you

void.

i decided to go against all odds

and tell you how i feel.

i had people hyping me up,

telling me there's no chance you don't feel the same way.

but my gut was right,

it always is.

you read my message,

and panicked.

"i'm sorry if i don't respond right away,

my brain has been dormant."

and i haven't heard from you since.

i shouldn't have told you.

what a fool i am to think you would ever feel the same way,

even after everything we've been through.

shawn mendes has a song with these lyrics:

"but everything means nothin' if i can't have you."

i thought this was absurd,

until this moment.

waiting for you to respond has sent me to a new feeling,

a feeling of complete emptiness.

you know that one scene in twilight: new moon?

the one where bella stares out her window for what seems like days?

i thought that feeling wasn't real either,

until this moment.

i often catch myself staring,

not at anything in particular.

but i am so out of it that i don't notice,

i'm stuck in this trance.

now, i sit at my desk, writing about you,

staring at the trees outside my window.

waiting for you to respond,

butuntil then, i'll be here, waiting in the void.