Perpetual Heart

Chapter Thirty-seven

Part One

XiaoBai

Lately I have been feeling restless, my thoughts were everywhere and my mind wasn't steady.
I feel stronger than I have ever felt but my heart feels heavy and weak, there has been a couple of things happening in heaven there has been endless wars and I barely got to see my husband, maybe that's why I feel so anxious and scared.

I peek through the door wondering if is he going to come back alive or injured, apart of me has faith that he wouldn't leave me not again，although many years have passed but the memory of his death is always fresh in my mind like the sun.

Lost in thought I don't see the weather changing, it was always sunny in heaven and normally when the weather changed something would happen, but I was so lost in thought that when I felt a tap on my shoulder I jumped. "Did I scare you? I'm sorry." I heard the voice of the person I haven't heard in a while. "What do you want Wan Xue?" I asked as I looked at him. "I want to apologize for everything." He said and I snorted. "It's a little too late for that don't you think? Besides you chose to help your brother." He tried to grab my hand but I took a step back. "I love you! I have always loved you but you were going to pick him over everything else!! You were going to give your heart to him and I wouldn't have stood a chance." He said exasperated. "That's no excuse to hurt the person you claim you love!!! Yes you're right I would have chosen him over everything but that doesn't give you a right to ruin my life, my happiness. Did you seriously think that I could love you if you killed him or took him away from me?" I asked and he frowned. "You're selfish!" He snapped. "How!? How am I the selfish one!? The only other reason why you even feel something for me is the fact that I remind you of your wife!! The same wife who killed herself at the hands of your brother because of you! I trusted you! So much, I can't believe that I even thought you and Yang Yang were the same!!!" He pushed me against the wall and chocked me. "Isn't he the same guy who got killed because of you!! Huh, you just want all the love to yourself stringing everyone along with you!!" He yelled, I put up my shield that threw him off me and to the other side of the wall. "At least I don't deny the fact that I loved him!! Is that what you wanted to know? If did I ever have love in my heart for him? You're the person I don't have love for!! You pretended to be all self righteous but you're nothing but a reflection of your brother covered in sheep skin, at least your brother owns up to the fact that he's evil." He laughed. "Do you know what dear brother has in store for you? You will wish you never insulted his daughter." He smirked as he stood up. "You still underestimate me, you don't know who I am." I said softly. "You don't have love but an obsession, an obsession to have what you can't have." I put down my shield. "Just cause you have lived this long doesn't mean I don't have the guts to kill you, I am just not a murderer." I turned my back on him and went back to the palace, I felt exhausted and like I could take a long nap.

I tried to stay up so I could wait for my husband but I couldn't keep my eyes open for long, I fell into a deep chaotic slumber.
When I woke up I was still by myself, I checked around the palace to see if my husband had come back but there was no sign of me.
I went to look for him outside but he wasn't there so I went to the imperial hall, heavenly father looked panicked along with Fangsu. "Jui're." Heavenly father whispered my name and Fangsu turned to my direction. "Heavenly father, where is Dijiun." He looked at me for the longest time without saying anything. "He's dead because of you!!" Fangsu said and I felt cold immediately, my thoughts came to a stand still and my heart rate slowed to an irregular pace. "Jui're." I don't even when heavenly father got to me as he shook me. "Don't listen to her!! She doesn't know what she's talking about! It's just that Dijiun hasn't come back from war and he shouldn't have been back by now." After hearing that it was like life had been breathed into me. "I'll search for him." Heavenly father was about to protest when he walked in. "Brother." Fangsu said but he was looking at me. "Who touched you." There was a murderous look on his face. "Dijiun." Heavenly father called for his attention but he pinned him with a cold stare. "Who touched you?" He asked in a low threatening voice. "Husband I haven't seen in a while and this is how you greet your wife? Didn't you miss me?" Fangsu snorted. "XiaoBai I didn't leave you with angry bruises on your neck, so who touched you?" Darn it! In my worrisome state I had forgotten to cover up my neck, and I knew that he wouldn't let it go. Then Fangsu did something that made him so angry that he threw her off and she slit her arm, she came and put her hands around him and laid her head on his back. "Move." He said in a low threatening voice but she held on tightly. "I am not letting go of you, I have been here for you the longest yet you chose her! She doesn't even deserve you!!!" He threw her off him but he used too much now she was staring at him wide eyed. "I want her gone." He looked at heavenly father. "Dijiun calm down." I whispered softly but he wasn't having it. "The only answer I expect from you is who laid their hands on you." Then he focused his attention back to heavenly father. "I have been patient enough for her, I want her gone whatever debt that had me tied to her is complete there is no need for her to be here, you can send her to the storm clan she will become a Princess there." Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the palace, before he could pester me again about this I kissed him and his tension and anger melted under the kiss. "I missed you." Before he could say anything I pulled him in for another kiss. "I know what you're doing." He whispered against my lips. "Why won't you tell me?" I sighed. "I'm afraid you will take the life of the person who did this." He frowned but decided to let it go. "We should go to Qingqiu, I'm sure my parents think that I have abandoned them." He smiled sweetly at me. "I agree with that, I think that you will have to go first I have things I still need to sort out plus I need  to refine the Purple Sea's energy, a guard will escort you after I'm finished at the Purple Sea." He said sweetly. "Do I really need to be escorted?" I whined and he chuckled. "Of course you do." I snarled at him but he gave me a throaty laugh.