Broken Porcelain Marionette

Chapter 2

Mari’s POV:

I looked at my alarm clock numbly as it beeped. I just turned my back to it as it continued to beep obnoxiously. My head hurt from my mental breakdown from yesterday. I couldn’t sleep from fear that something bad would happen if I did.  The thoughts I had when I was at the bridge weren't helping either.

Beep.

I could still feel some tears slip through my eyes.  I can’t talk to Adrien anymore...

Beep.

I have to tell HAWKMOTH my old IDOL, all about the miraculouses.  Master Fu will be so disappointed in me.  He’ll want the miraculous back.

Beep.

I won’t get to talk to Tikki anymore...

Beep.

I won’t get to see Chat anymore...

Beep.

I won’t-

“ Marinette turn off your alarm and get out of bed! School already started and you are already extremely late!”

I heard my mom yell from downstairs.  I turned towards my alarm looking at it blankly and turned it off. I didn't really feel like getting out of bed today. I looked at Tikki who was just staring at me. I guess I disappointed her.  I got up with a loud groan and got out my outfit. It was too happy, too bright for the darkness that is overtaking the world. I quickly grabbed a black sweatshirt and some black jeans. I grabbed a pair of black flats and I didn’t have another bag, so I just grabbed my pink one. I'll make a new one later. I looked at my clock and saw it was almost second period. I sighed and headed toward the school. I entered a minute before it started, and made sure I had my hood up so no one could see my face. As I passed Adrien’s desk I pulled the hoodie farther down trying to avoid him at all costs. Sadly, with my luck he switched seats with Alya. I kept my face resting on my arms facing the top of the desk. I quickly scooted away hoping he would get the hint, but instead I felt his hand rubbing circles on my back. I flinched a little scared, but I didn’t pull away. I should pull away, pull away, pull away!  But I didn’t, I wanted him to comfort. I want him to keep doing this. I want to be with him.  I started shaking with so many emotions; Joy, sorrow, desperation, anger at Hawkmoth, and fear. I could feel the tears start up again as I kept thinking of how I can’t let him do this, but I want him to. I need him to.

“ Mari, what’s wrong?  Are you ok, what happened yesterday?”

He whispered gently. I just shook my head, I can’t talk to him...I shouldn’t even let him touch me!

“ Mari PLEASE tell me whats wrong, what can I do to help you?”

He sounded so desperate. STOP IT!  Stop talking to me. Hate me. Yell at me. Stop touching me. I- I want you to stay near me, but I need you to leave me.  Leave me. I’m not worth your worry.  I’m worthless. 

I felt a small sob escape my lips that I kept trying to hold down. He quickly pulled me into a hug and broke. No! He can’t touch me! I want to stay like this, but NO! I can’t, I can’t! Tears started to poor out of my eyes faster and faster as I pushed him away. I scooted to the end of the bench putting as much space between us as possible. I could feel his hurt gaze on me and I felt guilty. 

I'm hurting him...

I didn’t mean to hurt him... I wanted to stay in his embrace. I want him to keep me from falling to pieces, but he can’t.  He’ll get hurt... All of my friends will get hurt. My parents will get hurt. I kept my head down for the rest of class, and as soon as the bell rang he passed me notes that he had taken for me. I was surprised he even did that for me. Why does he have to be so nice? Why can’t he just leave me, forget me, hate me!  I’m dooming the world, so stop liking me! Stop treating me like you always do! Stop being so nice to me! I gave a small nod and ran to the next class. He wasn’t in that class luckily, so I should have a small break. He is in my fourth period which will be hard. I felt someone pull my arm, I turned around to see Lila.

“ Marinette! I need to talk to you about something really important!”

She said with false sincerity. I looked around looking for help, but no one was in this part of the hall. I nodded knowing that if I didn’t she would do something bad to me later.

“ Great! Follow me!”

I followed her to the girls bathroom.  When I walked in she was leaning against the wall looking me over with a disgusted face.

“ You look disgusting. I mean seriously, you look like you were just binging for a month. Are you really trying to hide that fat you gained?"

She laughed mockingly.

“ Did you bring me here to just insult me?”

“No, I have another reason. I saw what happened with Adrien and I’d recommend that you make sure it never happens again. I’ll let it slide just this once because I saw you push away at the end, but if it happens again.....I’ll tell Hawkmoth.”

I looked up at her with shock written all over my face. She knew who he was?!  She works with him?!

“ By your face I can see he never told you. I’ll be watching your every move to make sure you don’t get any ideas.  I’ll sit with him in fourth and you sit in the back, got it?”

I looked down and nodded.

“ Good! I will be watching you. You are pathetic, clumsy, fat, disgusting, and all you do is cause trouble. I mean look at yourself! Why would ANYONE want to be near you. You’re so ugly, poor, and worthless. I mean look at me, I’m rich, beautiful, talented, and worth so much more than you. Stay away from him or else you’ll hurt not just yourself, but Adrien and everyone you love and care about. Remember my threat, because if you step one toe out of line, I will make sure everyone will turn against you. Got it?”

I nodded, tears flowing down my face and small sobs escaping my lips. I knew that not all of what she was saying was true, but I knew that she was right. I am a danger to everyone around me....I looked up to see her triumphantly smirking down at me. I looked at her blankly.

“ Come to class with me and you won’t get in trouble. Let’s get walking you ugly malignant thing!”

I followed her up the stairs and walked with her into class. She told the teacher that I had gotten hurt and that she had helped me to the nurse's office. He nodded and signaled for us to sit down.  I was about to sit in my normal seat with Alix, but Lila pulled my arm and made me sit with her. This day keeps getting better and better. Note the sarcasm.