Book Reviews (CFCU - Sorry!!)

Weapons Of An Empress Review

Weapons Of An Empress By anjd17

(Note from Owner of book - this review was done by Kuriejisyfer8 I hope that is ok and that you enjoy the review she has done for you ☺️)

Overal Review:
The story is about a princess who loses her parents and her kingdom from an unexpected demon attack.
The Princess, named Cahira, becomes hardened by these events and thus embarks on a journey in an effort to reunite her kingdom and fight off this ever present threat. As Cahira travels through a magical world while at the same time meeting new characters, she also comes to learn that there is more to these demon attacks than she thought, and that she is more important than she realises as well.

Positives/ What I enjoyed.
- First off, the prologue was amazing and well executed. The descriptions you have written was very well done and you could tell you had placed a lot of effort into the prolugue. That's good since you need the readers  to be interested in the book on the get go.

What makes the prolugue great is that it already gives us a clear image or idea of what kind of protagonist we are dealing with, as well as their goal. Sections like, "I haven't heard such a pure, carefree noise in a while." tells me this person has gone through hardship, something I most definitely want to see in a book. I can tell this prolugue is most possible the protagonist sharing thier experiences only after the events of the story, but a reader would only confirm this once they have started reading the first few chapters. "Defending my nation" tells the reader this is definitely Cahira as well as "my people," considering the fact that Cahira is a princess who needs to reunite and protect her kingdom from a demonic threat.

With all this in mind, the prologue is like some kind of foreshadow or preparation for what's to come, but you have also written it so vaguely as not to spoil anything. Like I said before you would actually start reading chapters after the prologue to further realise the meaning of what is being conveyed, as well as what character is speaking (Cahira).

- Magic is my all time favourite in fantasy books, and you have done a pretty good job handling it thus far. As far as I could tell this magic is a soft magic system, since you don't give many details of how it works, but at the same time, you made it so that it doesn't seem convenient.

(Spoilers)Scenes such as when Dayith is lost and Cahira tries to use healing magic to save him, only to fail, immediately tells me healing magic in this world cannot heal drastic wounds. This also tells me this magic system has a semblance of limits and that is a good thing. Without limits, readers would feel lost and the author could just Pull out any magic spell whenever they saw fit according to specific scenarios so good job not allowing this.

Constructive criticism:
This book is exceptionally well done. There are a few spelling errors here and there but that can be fixed with a simple re-read and an update every now and then, however there is one critic or problem I want to point out (or at least its the only problem I could identify within reading five chapters.)
- The one problem I could find was lack of build up/description in very important and relevant scenes or events. At the very start of your book you have shown yourself to be capable of giving your readers amazing descriptions, (something I honestly still have problems with if I have to come clean.) but there are certain parts of the story which you actually lack description when it's needed most.

For example in chapter 2 part 2, when the demons attack the village, there is a lack of description in terms of how these creatures are destroying or attacking this village exactly. All we got was "shouting and blasts" and "houses collapsing and the sounds of vicious growls." I think you are capable of pulling off more details than this. Try and explain how the houses are collapsing; are they crumbling brick by brick? Is there a fire blazing across the villagers? Tell us what is happening to them, such as how the demons are attacking them prehaps, or give details of why they are screaming.

You might be painting a gruesome image but take into consideration this might create some sort of fear or tension, as you are making the demons actually seem like monsters rather than just saying they are.
You don't need to add a whole massive description about all these points I've given, but just a few that there is at least some visualisation. Add just one or two extra sentences to get this finished up.

- I also mention there is lack of build up, and by this I am referring mostly to the scene where Elvira introduces herself. Instead of saying "there stood a sorceress" try and expand on this moment. I think you should be trying to really set the scene for Elvira. Describe her appearance, tell us how she is looking at Cahiria, create a daunting atmosphere like the clouds amassing and becoming darker for example. The point is to make the readers aware that this person must be some kind of huge threat, or even some kind of villainous boss entering the scene.

I suppose I have only been referencing to chapter 2 part two so far, so look at chapter one part one. The demons are introduces in this chapter, and that's good since you have established the main conflict, but in this chapter you should have given more description to the demons. Make us quiver in fear at merely reading what they look like or what makes the "hideous" or demonic.
Another consideration would be the environment; where are the guards? You have informed us that this was a kingdom and that Cahira's parents are the king and queen. They are in the throne room and when they are attacked by the demons, the king and Queen fights off the creatures, but the problem is why isn't there any guards? Are there not suppose to be royal guards in the throne room to protect the queen and king at all times? If they are there, you should have given us a couple of scenes with them, preferably with the demons having the advantage in order to establish how life threatening they would be.

I suppose it's safe to say the main point is to add more details, specifically at these sections of the story. It doesn't need to be alot of info, but enough to succeed in the desired results and therefore bringing more life into your scenes.

One last thing before I end the criticism, there is one thing I'm kind of skeptic about, and that is the entity that appeared twice so far from what I have read. I was pretty happy that Cahira was going to be some kind of chosen hero to save her kingdom, especially since she was a royal anyway, but when you introduced the entity which starts filling in info about Cahira having powers destined to be used in stopping Elivra and her 'master', you are beginning to step into a 'chosen one' territory. I don't think this is much of a concern, but I warn you a 'chosen one' story is a thin ice to cross. I'm not saying it's bad, but I have seen many of thoes kinds of stories (it's a cliché), but then again this is assuming Cahira is going to be destined chosen one of some sort.

Overal review:
Overall, your book is again, very good. You have established your main character and their goal in the prolugue imm, your conflict is introduced in the first chapter (well done.) You have created intrigue (as I want questions answered,) and afterwards the story seems to have a strong plot structure. Keep up the good work, and if you can fix the main problem I have stated in the critism part of this review, your book will be perfect in my eyes.

Personal rate: I'll give this book an 8/10
because I like your book, and I I will definitely keep reading, don't worry 😉

Hope this review helped you in some way, and if you ever feel you need to question it, just pm me anytime :)