Deeper

57 | Chasing Her

Finally, I'm here.

The sky has turned dark the moment I stand right before where she lives. My heart stops when I catch sight of her opening the curtain of her bedroom window. But before I can react, she closes it again, making my heart sink.

I miss her. But deep down, I know that she might not want to see me again.

The front door creaks open, revealing Jake. He closes it behind him and leans back against it, crossing his arms across his chest. "What are you doing here, Vaughn?" His voice is cold as he asks me.

I clench my fists tight on my sides. "I know I messed up. But, I need to see her. I need to talk to her." My voice is firm.

Jake stares at me like he's trying to figure out what the hell I'm thinking about. "Did you not get my words last time?" he asks. "I'll kill you before you can even take one step inside the house."

My jaw tightens. I don't have time for this. I just need to see her and talk to her. I need to explain to her about everything. "Look, I think she misunderstands--"

"Misunderstand?" Jake cuts me off and scoffs. "You misunderstood everything, Vaughn. You were blinded by Camila." He almost spits in disgust as he talks about her. God, I almost throw up myself when that name pops up. "You didn't even try to confront me. You swallowed her words like you were born to drink her poison."

"I wouldn't have fucked it up if I hadn't seen that fucking video," I bite out. Now, it's my turn to scoff. "Right. You think you have no part in this?"

I can see that he's shaking with anger now, probably realising the truth behind my words.

He fucked it up too, although it wasn't as bad as I did.

"Despite all the shit inside your head and the shit you were feeling that time, Vaughn, you still used my sister," Jake speaks through gritted teeth. "You used Melanie. You used her to spit at me, to destroy me."

Every word coming out from his mouth stabs my heart like a knife. I wish he could just kill me instead.

I used her. No, I wouldn't have done so. I love her.

But I can't help but think about those words all over again.

He might be right.

I was too consumed in my rage. I was livid that my best friend stabbed me behind my back while all that I'd been doing was keeping my promise to him to take care of Melanie. My head was so messed up every time I looked at her. I couldn't even look at her, because every time I did, I saw Jake sneering at me, thinking about how fucking foolish I was for caring about her while in fact, he'd destroyed the woman I used to love.

I was scared to look at Melanie. Scared that my love for her would make me forgive her brother.

I didn't mean to hurt her. I didn't mean to ignore her. I didn't know that she overheard my conversation with Jake, when all I could think about at that time was to piss him off.

"I didn't use her," I say to Jake, my voice unwavering. I've never been this sure of it.

Can't I just explain to her about all of this?

"I told you, Vaughn. It's over," Jake reminds me. "Just get out of here." With that said, he closes the door, leaving me standing here alone on the street.

I curse and snap my head toward her bedroom window. "Melanie!" I shout. "It's me!"

But there's no response. Her curtain is still shut.

"Melanie!" I call again. "I need to talk to you!"

But my action apparently pisses off the neighbours as I see one of them open his window, yelling, "Shut the hell up!"

I clench my fist again. I'm not giving up. It's not over. Its never over for me.

The next morning has arrived, and I'm back here again, in front of Jake's house. I've slept in a motel, even though I can barely call that sleep. The entire night, I was restless.

I come back just in time when Jake is preparing to leave for work. Noticing that I'm here again, he eyes me with a cold look. "Did you not hear me clearly, Vaughn?" he asks. "You're wasting your time here."

I watch as he gets into his car, starts the engine and drives. My gaze darts on her bedroom window again. I'm hoping that once Jake leaves, she'll consider seeing me again. I wait, and I wait, until my body feels numb. But there's still no movement from the house, and I feel a big lump in my throat.

Does she really not want to see me again?

But I need to see her so badly. I want to hug her, to kiss away her tears, to mend her broken heart. To tell her that everything will be alright. To promise her that I'll always be by her side and to protect her from now on at all costs.

Yet, she remains unmoved. She doesn't come out to see me. She doesn't even check on me.

And I remain here, standing on the street. Waiting for her.