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SMS Transcript: Part 3 - 10:52am

> You forgot to mention the yellow trouser-braces and Divad's famous balloon. (Sad Face). And yes you must take the suitcase with you David; it is a vital part of the costume.

> What baloon?

> I'm sorry, my mistake; the balloon is by the Pier. Please hold still for a moment, I've asked one of my friends to take a picture of you. I can't wait to see how you look for myself. (Smiley Face).

> Very funny, you got me looking like a proper retard! Wel done. Now whats all this about? What balloon? What you mean pier? WTF is going on!

> I've just seen the photograph, and I have to say even though you're giving the finger, you look priceless David; it truly has made my day. Thank you. (Smiley Face).

> The finger was especially for you! So whats all this about?

> This is all about you David, or should I say Divad? It's difficult to choose since you are one and the same.

> Look, I already told you I dont know millies monkey story. So stop the crap ok, just tel me what her book & this costume got to do with your twisted game?

> I'm pleased to inform you that Divad the monkey (i.e. you) has been booked for a few special guest appearances in Weston-Super-Mare today. (Smiley Face). So I will be insisting on your best behavior.

> What apearances?

> Don't worry David, all will be explained, but I'm afraid time is against us. It's time for clue hunting now. If you reach into the left trouser pocket of Divad's costume you will find a red envelope. Please open it carefully and tell me what you find.

> Ok, very good so how you get my cheque book!

> Your checkbook was in the second draw down, on the left side of your desk, in your office, at home. As you can see, I've already taken the liberty of filling out the financial information and today's date, all there's left for you to do is write the recipient's name and sign the cheque!

> You can fuck of with that amount! NO WAY im giving you 1.5mill! I knew this WAS all about money!! So when did you brake into my house you fuck?

> I've been resident of your luxurious home since the early hours of this morning. I used Ben's keys and pass-codes, and I must say it's a beautiful home you have here David. Lots of rooms. I especially like your Star Wars toy room.

> They're not toys! They are collectors items! Just stay out ok!

> I have a young nephew who would love the lightstick signed by George Lucas in the display cabinet. I don't suppose you would be willing to offer it as a gift?

> NO! & Its called a lightsabre!! Just stay out!

> That's a shame. (Sad Face). It's his birthday soon and like you he's a huge fan of Star Wars. Are you sure David?

> NO! Look you win ok! You'v fucked with my day, cut my drivers thum of & broke into my house! Bravo... so how much to end this bull?

> I've told you David, I don't want your money. The cheque is not for me. It will be a generous donation from you to the 'Pot Of Gold' charity which Millie set up before her untimely death. You do know about Millie's charity don't you?

> Yes! But that way too much, I cant give that much ok!!

> Don't be silly, of course you can, you've spent far more on that ugly old sports car in your garage... you just don't want to.

> It is a Ferrari 340 Mexico, & its 1 of 4 ever made. I bought it as an investment ok!

> I see, so you value a piece of old painted metal on wheels you never actually use above the lives of sick children! Do you have any idea how many children's lives £1.5 million will save through proper guidance, medication and support? I would have thought after living with someone with cancer that you of all people would understand the pain and anguish these children and their families are going through on a daily basis!

> Look non of that is my fault! I cant save everyone can i?

> I'm sorry but time is against us. It is now 11:06am; you must now get to the Playhouse Theater on the high street. My friends will show you the way.

> I know were it is! Iv been Weston before! But why the theatre?

> It's the place of Divad's first guest appearance, which is scheduled for 11:35am, so please make your way there David.

> But whats going on at theatre? I want to know why im going there in a monkey costume?

> Didn't you know David? Millie's story of Divad the monkey made it from a children's book all the way to theater, and the producers have decided to make the premier showing tonight, in Weston-Super-Mare, the town Millie was born! You must be so proud. (Smiley Face)

> No I didn't know. Publishers dont tel me shit about whats going on with millys books OK!

> That's a shame (Sad Face). Now please hurry, the time is now 11:10am!

> Wait a min! What about other clue to your name, you said i would get?

> What is the small letter printed on the inside flap of the red envelope David?

> (i)?

> Since you already have the letter (C) the letter (i) is your second clue. Now please hurry.

> That not enough info! How many letters in your name?

> I'm sorry but that would be making things too easy at this stage. Now please hurry, my friends tell me you have not left the shop yet. David, you have just under twelve minutes to get to the Theater. Please let's not upset the children!

> WTF! What children? I'm telling you now, Im NOT prancing around kids dressed as a fuckin monkey OK!

> Don't worry David, it's not animation I need, its narration. You will be introducing a special preview of Divad's story to a group of sick, disabled and disadvantaged children and their carer's. There will also be a few key people from Millie's charity.

> Listen twatface... I'm not a performer ok! I'm no good with kids, you got wrong person doing this! Ok, fair enough I'll turn up & give them a donation. But get someone else to do the story part! I JUST CANT DO IT OK!!

> David... my friends tell me you are turning a disturbing shade of red, will you please calm down! All you have to do is walk across the stage, wave to the audience, sit on your suitcase under a cut-out tree and tell how the story of 'The Money Monkey' begins, while soft music plays and images relating to the story are projected behind you on a large screen. Don't worry, you will be shown what to do.

> Your NOT listening... I'll fuck it up! Just get someone else OK! Im NOT going on stage!!

> Oh dear! In that case all there's left to do is decide which tools would best ensure a slow and extremely painful thumb removal. Having already dismissed the bolt-cutters due to their previous speedy effectiveness, I'm currently left with two options: the blunt stainless-steel bread-knife, or the broken toothed hacksaw blade? I've asked Ben which he would prefer, but understandably he's reluctant to show any liking for either option. (Sad Face).

> OK Im going syco! Leave ben alone! Your going to pay for all this, I promise!

> A wise decision David. Please hurry and text me as soon as you arrive at the theater.

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