Deeper

53 | Don't Go

The driver steals a glance at me through the rear-view mirror. He must be wondering what happened to me, with this busted knuckles, blood on my shirt and broken look.

"You seem to be in a rush," he says, a hint of concern in his voice. "Did something bad happen to someone?"

I swallow hard and look down, my vision getting blurry again with tears of regret. "It's..." I whisper. "My girlfriend."

I wish I could do something more for her. I grip the pearl necklace inside my pocket, remembering the words I said to her about how much she meant to me, only for her to discover them later as nothing but lies.

Forgive me, Melanie. Forgive me that I hurt you. That I broke your heart. That I couldn't protect you.

The moment we reach the house, I get out of the cab and rush to the gate. It's locked, and I find myself gripping the steel, pushing it.

"Melanie!" I shout, pushing the gate even more, trying to break in. "It's me! I know that you don't want to see me anymore, but--" I look down, only to find that my hands are shaking. "I need to see you." The last sentence is barely a whisper coming out from my mouth.

My grip on the steel of the gate tightens to the point that I feel like my palm is burned, and I shout again, "Melanie! Please!" My voice becomes more desperate with every moment passing by, with every moment I waste by not being by her side. "Let me in. Let me see you," I choke.

My heart beats so fast inside my ribs, and pain clenches around my heart again like a tight fist. "I'm sorry!" a cry escapes my lips. "I'm so sorry," I rasp. "Open the door! Melanie!" I keep shouting her name.

"Young man, what are you doing?" a woman's voice makes me snap my head around, and I see an elderly woman approaching me, probably one of the neighbours. "Why are you here? There's no one inside the house," she tells me as worry crosses her expression.

I stare at her, still trying to swallow the words she just said to me.

"The house is empty," she says.

"No," I say, not wanting to believe the worst thought that just came across my mind. "Melanie is here. With her brother."

"There's no one inside," she insists, and when I'm about to push through the gate again, she pulls me. "Trust me. You're not going to see anyone there. The house has been empty since her brother left yesterday morning."

I freeze. I don't want to believe it. I don't want to believe that she's gone. I'm still hoping that she's there. That I can see her again.

But a part of me knows the painful truth.

What if she really left?

What if she didn't wait for me?

I shake my head in disbelief, and the woman just looks at me with sympathy. Melanie is gone, and I haven't even told her how I really feel, how much she means to me, how sorry I am for hurting her. How I wish I could kill myself for hurting her.

And right here, right now, as the truth hits me hard, I fall on my knees, staring down at the asphalt as I break down.

The ride is silent now. Jake has been driving for hours although we did stop at some areas to rest for a while. We've decided to take the journey slowly. I should take this opportunity to recharge my drained energy, but I can't sleep. My thoughts are filled with so many things. Painful things.

A tear falls to my cheek, and I shake my head. No. I've decided to forget all the bad things. To heal myself.

But I don't know why I suddenly feel a great pain inside my chest, as if my heart has been struck by a sudden force.

I can sense that Jake becomes worried as I look away to the window. His phone rings again on the dashboard, and I can't help but glance at the caller.

It's Vaughn again.

This time, Jake decides to just turn his phone off.

A soft cry leaves my lips. I grip my chest, my throat hurting. I have no more life in Boston. I have no future there. I can't even face the world anymore after all that happened to me. I need to heal, to mend this broken heart, to forget everything painful, and to have a new life.

And so I have to leave everything. I have to leave him.

I have to forget the only man who has stolen my heart, who is my first love, whom I've given all my trust and whom I allowed to take away my soul. The same man who also broke my heart and shattered it into nothing but dust.

I don't even realize that I'm already sobbing. It hurts so much to leave him. It hurts so much to know that I won't see him anymore.

Goodbye, Vaughn...