The Definition Of Forever (Inked Hearts 1)

Sixty-three

AN:
I haven't done dedications for a while, and since so many of you have been really supportive lately I thought I'd start giving a few shoutouts!

This chapter is dedicated to
@hyooo123 for all your wonderful comments and being so supportive back when this book didn't gets as much hype as it does now. I purple you! 💜

Back to it!!
Lezz spill dis tea!!
Lezzgoo!

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Diana first person pov:

As soon as the words left my mouth, a fresh wave of soul-crushing guilt washed over me, and I felt myself beginning to fall back into the current of the tide.

You did this. This was your fault. He would have been better off without you. You should have stopped it. But no. You are selfish and pathetic. You hurt him.

What's worse is, you did it a second time.

NO

With a bone-chilling shudder, I drag myself up out of the water and onto the safety of the sandbank, breathing deeply. The tide continues to pull at me, whispering and running feverish hands over my feet and legs, still partially in the water. But I clench my teeth and shake away the touch of the drowning water.

No, I can't think about that right now. Not when I'm here in Korea, far away from the people who helped me the first time.

Now I'm alone, and sinking faster than ever.

"Because you found your soulmate?" Yoongi Oppa asks, dragging me from my thoughts and back to my present situation.

If only. If only I had met my soulmate. Then things would have been so much easier, so much better. I would have had a more understandable reason for leaving. But as it is...

"No. No, it was because, because he told me he loved me."

There. The horrible truth laid out to the open air.

"And you didn't love him?"

"No, I did. That was the problem."

"You got scared?" he tries again.

Ahh, great. Now he thinks I have commitment issues.

"That's not it either." I sigh. "Well yes, it is, but not for the reasons you're thinking." He stays quiet and I go on. "My, my aunt, on my mother's side, she married someone other than her soulmate, had kids, did it all. But then ten years ago he met his soulmate and left them. Just left, walked out on their lives, and never looked back."

I've never hated anyone the way I used to hate him. I could never see their family in the same way again. Witnessing what it did to my cousins was practically torture, and my parents living their happy lives as soulmates didn't help at family dinners.

"Never?"

"Well actually no." I continue. Here's where the sky starts to clear... "He contacted them, about five years later. Apologizing and saying that he missed them, that he wanted to be a part of their kid's lives again. Naturally, we all had our suspicions, and forgiveness didn't come easily."

"But it did come?" he asks from beside me on the cold hard bench.

"It took another year. And things are still not the same and never will be. But yes, it did come. And it came because even though it was five years later, he still came back. They're actually friends, or friendly to say the least with his soulmate." I smile at the memory of seeing them all together for the first time. "I've met his soulmate, he's nice."

"He?" Yoongi Oppa questions beside me.

"Yes, he. And they're perfect for each other. But Lia, my aunt, never found love again, or at least not yet. Anyways, after seeing what it did to them I made myself promise never to be serious with someone other than my soulmate."

"And you're not worried about finding them?"

"No, I am. But I'd rather not be in a relationship at all than be in the wrong one." He nods his head and I feel like he somewhat understands me now.

"And that's why you left?"

I nod. "He was the first time I'd come close to breaking that rule. I was so close the snapping, giving in to it, and just being with him. But some part of me knew that it was wrong and that I'd regret it later."

"And do you?"

"Do I regret it?" I ask and he nods. "Sometimes," I admit, "But in the end, no. It was for the best. But I do regret hurting him the way I did."

That's something I'll regret for the rest of my life: the look in his eyes, of utter despair and pain. Pain that I caused, and couldn't fix.

I realize that Yoongi Oppa must have asked me something and I rip myself away from my thoughts. "Sorry, what?"

He lets out a huff of a laugh and repeats the question. "So you told Jake no?"

"Yeah. It's not the best idea to date someone you're working with anyway." I sigh. I like Jake, I do, but we shouldn't date. That'd just be another mistake to deal with. I'm also not sure how much I like him as a friend, verse how/if I'm attracted to him. It's just easier to put an end to it before I cause some real damage.

For some reason, my words have an effect on Yoongi that I've never seen before. His knee begins to shake slightly, and he starts mindlessly chewing on his fingernails.

He catches me watching with a concerned look and immediately drops his hands to his lap. "Well, that's good that you know what you want." He gets out at last. "I hope you find your soulmate."

"Thanks. You too." I smile for what feels like the first time in days. But then it shapes to something else as a thought hits me. "Yoongi Oppa?"

"Hmm?" he hums, pleased that I've once again dropped the formalities.

"If you don't mind me asking... What's your soulmate tattoo?" I ask shyly.

He gets a sort of amused look on his face and chuckles. "I can show you if you want."

I nod and he stands up. Lifting up the hem of his shirt, he reveals his skin, and the ink marked into it. In the center where his stomach and chest meet, lies his tattoo: piano keys swirled into a heart.

It's gorgeous!

"It's beautiful," I say, and he lowers his shirt.

"Thank you."

I get up and retrieve the ball, spinning it in my hand once before passing it to him. "Want to play a game?"

"Yes please!" he sighs and walks onto the court where I wait.

Talking about it was good. There's still more to the bitter story, I haven't said everything, and I'm not sure I will. I like talking to Yoongi Oppa, he's a good listener, but something inside me holds me back. Whatever the case, I'm glad I shared what I did. But now, now it would be nice to have a rest.

So I close off my mind and lose myself in the game.

.

AN:

Now that you know more of what happened, what do you think?

I hope everyone's been having a good and restful weekend!!

Any other thoughts on Rue's past and how it will affect anything that could happen with Kookie?

All the best!
-Leia 💜