Roman

thirty-five

Here we are. The end. I am so thankful for all of my readers. And trust me there will be more to come. Please vote, comment, follow, share, whatever.

P.S. This book is 64,500 words, so like the length of a novel. I'm aghast. 

"Sadie," Naomi says softly.

My eyes slowly open to the dimly lit room. From the way the light looks, I guess that the sun rose hours ago. A hot flash of anxiety shoots through my body, but Naomi cuts in before I start freaking out too much.

"We still have a few hours before we have to leave for the airport."

I let out a sigh of relief and turn on my side to where my best friend is laying next to me in the bed. She is laying on her back, her head turned towards me, and her hand resting softly on her stomach. The sight sends a wave of guilt through me, quickly followed by a wave of guilt for feeling guilt.

I hate the idea of thinking of a new life as something that could majorly screw up the life that Naomi had planned. But, I know what it feels like to be an unwanted child. It hurts. It brings you pain. I know, though, that this family will want this child, whether Naomi ends up raising it, or her parents do. Or Roman does. The thought feels strange in my head, but I can see it so clearly.

We stare at each other in the soft light for a moment before she says, "I'm scared."

"Oh, Naomi," I say, turning and pulling her into my arms, "I'm so sorry."

"I have been thinking about leaving Slo."

My heart breaks for my best friend. I haven't even seen her there, but I know that she belongs there. I know that she has found her home there, and it will always be a part of her. "Naomi, you shouldn't have to leave if you don't want to."

"But I don't feel like I have a choice."

"Naomi, things will work themselves out. It sure as hell won't be easy, but they will work themselves out, okay. Roman is applying to grad schools in the area, and I'm sure that your parents would help so that you don't have to leave. You have wanted to go to SLO for so long, and you shouldn't have to give it up."

I feel traitorous, knowing that Roman is also applying to Michigan for grad school. But I know that he would never leave Naomi, no matter how much he wanted something else. I am not a fool. I know that he loves his sister more than he will ever love me.

"I just want to be closer to my support system."

I suddenly want to move to California too. The thought of Naomi, Roman, and I all living together with a little one running around makes my heart ache in longing. I couldn't leave Michigan, could I?

"What do you think would happen if I left Michigan? If I transferred? I mean I haven't really made a lot of friends. And I know that they have a good nursing program, but how much does that really matter? Not all nurses go through the top program."

"Sadie," Naomi says, her voice heavy, "the nearest schools with a nursing program at all are at least three hours away. I had this thought with Roman too, the schools are just too far away from Slo. Unless Roman wants to go to Cal Poly Slo, he will have to live somewhere else, and then I'll be on my own with a kid anyway." She lets out a choked sob. "I don't want my problems to hold back anyone else. Maybe I should put the baby up for adoption."

And there it is. Reality. It is so hard to surpass and I almost wish that Naomi could have chosen to go to a school that was somewhat more central in California. I wouldn't dare ask if she would want to change schools, even just to a school in LA. It's not fair to her. Slo was her dream, and she should be able to live out that dream.