𝟿 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚜 ~𝚊𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚊~

~𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗~ //𝟷𝟹

Kei started...Everything...He didn't miss a single thing...The cutting, eating disorder, abuse, rape, anxiety, depression, self-esteem, suicidal attempts I had told him about, the pain...

I started cry, and the urge to self harm was more dominant than ever. I scratch the top of my hand figuresley behind my back as hard as I could, It wasn't like the cutting but my nails were long enough to make my hand bleed. Kiyoko was next to me, also crying, and I think she saw what I saw doing as she reached behind me taking my hand in hers mouthing 'no' as Tsuki continued to explain, his voice cracking every now and there.

But I needed to do it, so I pulled back and carried on. She took my hand again and I tried to pull away...again. However, this time she wouldn't let go. "Kiyoko please I need to I cant take this" I whispered quietly so only she would here. But of course Kei also heard and said "Kiyoko don't let go" she nodded and held on tighter.

Finally for what felt like forever Kei was finished. Everyone, even the coaches, were crying. "I'm so sorry Hinata I didn't notice" Takeda said bowing to me as I saw hi tears drop to the flow. "N-no I-its fine you c-couldn't of k-known I'm s-sorry for not t-telling you and making y-you sad and in p-pain" I muttered out. "Hinata were not upset because of you, were upset for you" Coach added in.

I thought about Coaches words but they weren't enough to stop me from thinking otherwise. 'I'm the problem, its me, I caused them to feel like this, I'm the reason for their pain, they are crying because of me, its all my fault, I should die' 'yes go kill yourself already, your worthless and selfish' 'I know' 'then do it faggot'

I heard the voices as clear as day, but I couldn't kill myself yet, I had to play volleyball one last time at least. I needed the voices to go away I couldn't do it on that day I wanted to play volleyball one more time. I knew I was being selfish but I was going to die soon anyway so I can at least do that.

The voices wouldn't go away though as I couldn't hurt myself, but I had too. Kiyoko had a grip on my hand but it had loosened a bit as she was crying. I looked down and thought 'now run, hurt yourself, and come back saying you ended up being sick due to stress, ok, in 3,2,1, GO'. I started to sprint to the bathroom picking up my bag as I did so. Kei went to grab me but ended up missing by about an inch.

I heard Kei and Kiyoko run after me but they couldn't catch up and I eventually lost them in the school halls. I went into the bathroom slamming the stall door behind me as fast as I could. I took my razor out my bag and started cutting without thinking, I started to slice my thighs over and over again going over the same cuts and places repeatedly. Blood was everywhere...in about the space of a minuet I was a mess, you couldn't even see any of the skin on my thighs. But that didn't stop me...

I moved to my arms and started to do the same, but then I heard the bathroom door swing open loudly making me flinch. Two pairs of footsteps could be heard running to the stall "HINATA, STOP NOW!" Kiyoko shouted. "FOR FUCK SAKE HINATA NO" I heard Kei shouted right after and began picking the lock.

Even as they were shouting at me I didn't stop, I didn't want to waste a single second, a single chance, a single cut.

However the door was opened quickly and Kei reached for my right hand to stop me cutting, I struggled and tried to stop him "NO JUST LET ME FUCKING DO IT WHY DO YOU GIVE A SHIT" I screamed looking down not even wanting to make eye contact with him. "NO! I WON'T! I DO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU OK?! SO STOP!" He yelled. I still tried to get him off me though as I moved around trying to get the blade to hit my skin one last time. Kei dragged me off the toilet seat and brought me onto the floor, in between his legs. He now had both my arms in his hands. As he did Kiyoko fiddled the blade out my fingers and held onto it, my blood on her finger tips.

I eventually gave up my fight and relaxed, Kei let go of my arms and wrapped them around my waist "stop this, I can't see you like this anymore...its killing me" I started to cry and kept repeating how sorry I was. Kiyoko soon left, leaving us alone which I was much grateful for. "If you ever died Hinata I'd be right after you" Kei whispered, his chin resting on my head.

I froze.

"w-what?" I asked praying to God I mis-heard. "you heard me. If you die, I die" Kei said again. "no! don't do that! I-I don't w-want you to d-die Kei! y-you don't deserve it" I started to cry even more. "I promised I'll never leave you, remember? I don't intend on breaking that promise. Wherever you go, I go."

A/N- that last line was so heart-breaking when I wrote it, but like at the same time was fr impressed with myself for coming up with it UwU.

I want to say thank you so much for 2.5K views, I said this at 1K views but it makes me feel so important and happy every time I see people read my book. Like I do actually have some sort of purpose and people want me here to carry on this book. I hope you kinda understand what I'm saying and know that I'm always here to talk.

I did say this book will be ending soon in the last chapter but as soon as it does I will start a new book. Its something to keep me busy and distracted from everything, plus my English has improved sm! I looked back at my first chapter compared to this one and my writing is SO MUCH better! I wuv you now stay safe fwiends^-^.1765 Words.

Baiiii <3