The Butterfly Code

20

Throwing his shirt on the ground, Jin could only scan his torso as he revealed more and more. How long would these one's last, he didn't know. But he knew he'd have to apply a load of makeup to his collar where he had littered unwanted bites.

Slut.

Jin only nodded, head bopping up and down like a seasaw, except the only thing on each side were gusts of wind. He could feel the guilt claw more at him.

poor, poor, namjoon...

The voice mocked him.

He trusts you

The pink haired idol sighed. Talking to no one, he muttered, "Please, please, forgive me. It's only for the best..."

Removing the rest of his clothes, Jin refused to see that revolting fluid on his legs. Grimicing at the very thought, he limped into the shower, grabbing his razor along the way. He hesitated for a few seconds, the promise he had made to his roommate, just on the other side of the wall, echoed loudly in his brain.

"Promise me you won't hurt yourself!"

"I promise,"

Jin could only tightened his grip as Jungkook's voice of a few days ago sobbed,

"Promise me you wont leave. Especially li-like that,"

"I promise, Kookie,"

And Namjoon's promise? Well, Jin already knew he had fully lied. That promise could not be kept. And Jin knew that. So he had crossed his fingers and looked away when he had said those dreaded words, "I promise"

Glancing at his bruises he sighed, placing the razor away. Beginning his shower, Jin could only think at how much of a leash he was on.

He was a puppet in Sijeon's game, and his members were his strings. The strings he had to enure wouldn't snap, or else he'd becoming a ragdoll.

He was the pawn in a wicked game Sijeon was playing. A game, where all he could do was survive.

His body began to sting as he ran over the bruises that had tattooed his skin. Jin could feel his body's changes. Sijeon had talked to him about his appearance. His weight.

"Don't you think your a bit...large for a visual Seokjin?  What did I tell you about controlling your weight?"

"To diet...get lighter...lose weight-"

"Exactly. So why haven't you?"

"Because I'm healthy...for an idol. I-"

"Are you healthy? Healthy? Jin you can be 'healthy' if you're skinny too. But your just fat! A pig! Why do you think you can't dance? You're too heavy! You cant sing cause there's too much fat on your neck and chest,"

"But-"

"You only have one role in this band!! Visual! And you can't even do that? Why don't you just leave,"

That last sentence had been circling in his mind everytime he screwed something up. It was only yesterday when he had actually given an actual thought to his weight and diet. Curious, he had weighed him, a bit startled at how heavy he was. 70kg(154lbs). That was the first time he had stripped and stared at himself. But not the bruises. But the shape. The skin. The fat.

"Sijeons was right," He had muttered and then scoffed, "He seems to always be right. makes it harder to hate him,"

Taking in a deep breath, Jin stopped the water. Exiting the shower he dried himself off and wore the clothes that hid everything. His diet had started today and Jin can say with confidence, he had failed. He had tried to eat healthy, but their lovely manager had bought them ice cream.