Black Dahlia || Dick Grayson [Titans] ✔️

DYING SUCKS

I don't think anyone would disagree with me when I say that dying sucks. And I don't mean for the person inevitably doing the dying, but for the people who get left behind to deal with it. The last couple of times I died, I didn't really see the affect on anyone. The first time, I was dumped like last weeks trash and the second time, Jason was so in disbelief that I don't think it entirely registered in his brain what happened. I know it hadn't for me, anyway.

This time, though... this time was painfully different.

Because this time it was Dick who was left to deal with it. And everything he felt was plastered all over his face.

It was hazy, but I remember the few moments after I came back to life.

I remember clawing out of the ground, rising covered in dirt and for once not naked, the sun streaming bright and hot on me. I remember being confused on what happened before the panic kicked in and suddenly all I could think of was Dick and the others. I remember running, not knowing what direction I needed to go in, colliding hard with someone.

Most vivid of all, I remember the pain and fear clear on Dick's face, straining his voice as he pulled me tight to him and whispered my name over and over again, like it was the only thread keeping me with him. I could feel the hammering of his heart in his chest, through his suit, as if he was sure he'd never see me again and my presence caught him by surprise. He buried his face in my hair and then trailed it over so his forehead rested against mine, kissing me softly down my eyelid, cheek, to the corner of my lips.

Then I passed out, undoubtedly terrifying him more.

When I opened my eyes again, I was back in the Tower infirmary, lying in the bed in fresh clothes and feeling exhausted. My eyelids felt heavy as I forced myself to pull them open, looking around and immediately spotting Dick leaning against the wall, staring out the window blankly. The pain and fear was still on his face but there was anger there too, made more evident by the violent colored bruises scattered across his face. He'd changed clothes too, wearing jeans and a dark T-shirt that cut just right over his biceps which twitched every few seconds, giving away his troubled inner thoughts. With his arms crossed over his chest, hands balled into tight fists, there was something about him in that moment that made me think of an avenging angel. Like he was ready to burn down the world to make sure anyone that hurt someone he loved would pay.

I was so lost in my analysis of his still form that I didn't notice the moment his eyes drifted over and found mine.

Relief filling them, he pushed suddenly off the wall and closed the distance between us in a few long legged strides, sitting on the edge of the bed beside me. "Madds," he breathed shakily, lacing our fingers together desperately, giving them a reassuring squeeze. Something I felt was more for his peace of mind then my own. "Shit, Madds, you scared me. I thought... I thought I..."

"I know," I replied quietly, voice thick with disuse. "I don't really know what happened, but I'm here. I think." I tried to laugh and lighten the mood but the dark shadow came over his face, immediately making me feel guilty.

"You almost weren't," he snapped. "I told you I wouldn't let anything happen to you again and then... Then I let it. I'll never be able to make that up to you but that doesn't mean that I won't try, Madalyn. When I saw you collapse it was like I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. If Jason hadn't showed up and started talking sense to me, I think I would've lost it. No. I know I would've lost it."

"Jason?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah," Dick sighed. "He and the others got there just as you... When he realized what happened, he was the one that reminded me about your power. The plants hadn't come to collect you and we were a little worried about that at first, but then I grew more impatient and brought you out to them. The second I carried you outside they started reaching out from the bushes and trees for you. I never felt so relieved in my life, and even then I was terrified there wouldn't be a way for them to bring you back. That that would be the last time I saw you or held you in my arms."