twenty two

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"Do they still want me dead?" I asked Draco longingly. If we were going to talk, I was going to get answers first. He looked at me and sighed. There was no answer but he nodded his head slowly.

"How soon?"

"Soon enough."

The awkward tension only grew with the words. There were so many questions I had. So many things I had to say. "Why did you say you loved me? Last Christmas, when my father was going to make me kill you...why did you say—" Draco trailed off, turning his head to one side. I  recited the answer in my head. Regardless, what I actually said was not what I expected. "Because I think I did. At that point I think I did love you—I don't know, my emotions were all over the place last year. And with the mix signals you sent me the whole time, I didn't know what to think." I played with my hair and continued, "In the small moments we shared together, I was really happy. So if I was going to die, I wanted you to know." I let out a breath and waited for him to say something.

Draco's POV
I wasn't sure if I loved her either. Her answer was what I expected of her—that she felt that way back then, but not now. I watched her eyes move from my eyes to my lips, and I wondered if she still felt that way about me. If someone could truly love me like that.

"So...a Death Eater. Like, for real." She finally blurted, breaking the silence. "Do you still hate me for it?" I replied. "No, not anymore. I think I've come to terms with it. As long as you haven't hurt anyone." Her words injecting into my veins. Of course I would have to hurt people. It was my job.

Slowly, Adela's hands reached for my forearm, stroking the tattoo. She ran her finger over the pattern, watching the snake wiggle and writhe in my skin.

"Have you met him? The Dark Lord?"

"Yes. I have." I said honestly. It wasn't my place to tell her that she had too. For chrissakes, he was her father. That conversation was for another day.

"Are you going to kill me now?"

"No."

"Are you going to kill me, ever?"

"...."

I couldn't lie. Eventually I would have no other choice. It seemed even now I had no choice. It was inevitable, and I couldn't lie about that. But the reason of doing so was far beyond Adela's comprehension. I didn't want to be the bearer of bad news.

"Well...I've had enough for one night, Malfoy. I'm going to head to bed. Thank you for being honest." She said. I glanced at her crystal blue eyes, which were welling up with tears. As she turned away I watched her figure disappear up the hill. I sat at the lake for a while, crying.

Adela's POV
With most of my questions answered, and the air cleared, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. A small one—but it was relief nonetheless. It gave me the motivation to join my friends for breakfast, the first in a while.

I made my way to the Gryffindor table, Harry, Ron and Hermoine were already there. The boys were helping her study for something when they looked up and smiled. Ron put down his two drumsticks and wiped his face. "Bloody hell, Adela! We haven't seen you for breakfast in ages!" Hermoine cut in, "Yeah, are things alright with you?" She raised her eyebrows, knowing I was prone to things like this.

"I'm completely fine. Great, actually." I took my seat across from them. "So, what're you boys helping Moine with?"

It felt like old times with them. Times without any Voldemort, or death wishes, or hallway ghosts. If I forgot about everything that I was going through, then it would just go away. But that only worked for so long.

During passing period, right after lunch, I was in the left wing corridor when Pansy Parkinson shoved me aside, causing my books to fall from my hands and clamor on the stone below. "Watch it, Grimm!" She retorted. Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle were standing alongside her. I bent over and began picking up my books, hoping they'd just walk away when Crabbe knocked them out of my hand for a second time. "Oops!" He chuckled, punching Goyle in the chest.

I looked up at Malfoy and saw him laughing along with them. We made firm eye contact before he opened his mouth to say, "Ah, well would you look at that. Grimm all alone. What a pathetic little mudblood she is." He mocked, turning to Pansy who was blushing at his evil words. I watched as he gave her a seductive wink, and kicked one of my textbooks across the floor. The Malfoy from last night was gone. Once again, I couldn't count on him to be nice.

They just stood there gossiping among each other, and when I finally stood up, Pansy got closer to me. Her brows were furrowed and she had a devilish grin plastered across her face. "I would be careful in these hallways, Grimm. Never know who could—AHHHH!!" She let out a shriek of horror and pointed out the window behind me.

When I turned around there were two dementors bobbing up and down. Their blackened faces and dark cloaks were articulate and horrifying. They were fixated on me, like a bone to a dog. Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle, and the rest of the students in the corridor ran away, screaming. It was just Draco and I, staring fearfully at the two figures. One of them moved up to the window, it's head closing in on the glass. There was a loud shriek, causing me to wince in pain. Within seconds the dementors disappeared, leaving behind a bright light that caused me to fall on my feet.

I was temporarily blinded and felt Draco's hand grabbing my sleeve, pulling me up. "Thanks..." I said, kindly. "Don't bother." He replied, a big frown was on his face, pretending he wasn't fazed by what had just happened.

I knew this meant that I was really going to die this time.

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