I wake up after another restless night and decide that this is the day I'm going to ask Hannah for help. Don't get me wrong, I'm scared out of my mind. But I can't just sit here like the gay is going to just disappear. Plus, with my complicated pass maybe letting weight off my chest will be good for me.
The bell rings that dissmisses us from school and I practically sprint to find Hannah. I turn the corner and slide "The Breakfast Club" style and practically knock her into Grace when I run up to talk.
"Hey," I say between pants, "Are you busy afterschool?"
"If you count walking around circles in my room and doing absolutely nothing productive, then yeah, I'm busy" she says smirking.
"Hannah, please! I really want to hang out. I have to a lot to tell you" I beg
Grace cuts in, "Is everything okay?"
"GRACE! Everything is fine" I say giggling. I hope she can't tell how nervous I actually am.
"I'm in Troye. Wanna take my car?," she pauses. "Doesn't matter, we are anyways."
Hannah says bye to Grace then takes my hand and skips to the car. As she starts the engine I start to panic. What if this is a mistake? I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this.
"Troye are you okay?!" she seems worried. I look around and notice I have my head in my hands and I'm sweating a ton. My minf goes blank and all the sudden--
"Hannah I'm gay"
She stops fumbling with the car keys. She looks at me straight in the eye and in the softest voice ever she croaks, "You are?"
I say it again very quitetly and shakily.
"I'm gay"
I brace myself for the change. The inevitable change that happens to you when you come out for real. This life changing experience that makes you a different person. But nothing happens.
And all the sudden Hannah turns into this firework full of screams and hugs and kisses on the cheek. She holds my head in her hands and says it again.
"You're gay!"
"I'm gay!"
I start to laugh. Hannah jumps around and holds my hands and squeals and then hugs me some more. She keeps saying she's so proud of me and everything is going to be okay and in that moment I felt like I was at the top of the world.
"We have to go celebrate! There's this amazing coffee shop just across the street. I can't believe this is real, Tyler is going to be over the moon."
"Tyler?" My heart starts racing. Is he gay too?
"Whoop. Probably shouldn't of said that. You are going to tell the others though, right?"
"Well," I say shakily, "That's why I wanted to talk to you." I pause, then continue. "I'm super scared to tell our friends. And since you did it once, I thought you could help me find the courage?" I sigh. I sound like a charity case.
"Of course Troye. I would love to help you! I know just the way!" she says with a myterious smile.
"Should I be nervous or excited?" I say laughing
"Both"
And with that we get in the car and drive to who knows where. I'm just hoping this little plan of Hannah's is exactly what I need to come out of the closet to my best friends. I know not to worry but in the back in my head a voice keeps telling me this is all a mistake.
We arrive at the coffee shop and Hannah and I sit down. It's a cozy shop with flowers and vines all along the walls. I've never been here before but I have a feeling from now on I'll be here more often than not.
"So, Troye"
"So, Hannah"
"You see that man over there?" she pauses and waits for me to nod. "Go tell him you're gay"
"What?? No no no no no no. Are you insane? What if he punches me or something? And what if he tells people?? This is a secret!"
"Troye. He is not going to punch you."
"Hannah I'm sorry I can't do this" I say as I start panicking
Once again, the voiice in my head was right. I should of never of told Hannah. I should of never come to this coffee shop. I should never have been born! My whole life is just one big mistake. One big mistake. I get up to leave the coffee shop when Hannah grabs my wrist and yanks me back.
"Troye. You can't run away from this. You're gay and if you're going to come out to Tyler and all of our friends you have to get a feeling of the words in your mouth" she pauses, "Troye. please. For me?"
I sigh and glance over to the man Hannah is talking about. I only saw the back of his head before, but now that he's turned to order I see how attractive he is. He has a light brown quiff and bright green eyes. He's skinny and muscular, but not in a monsturous way. He flashes a smile and I see his perfectly straight teeth and then sigh again. But it's a sigh of attraction. This damn boy is hot.
I turn around and wait for Hannah to finish sending a text message. When she looks up she smiles.
"So....?" she says questionely
"I'll do it Hannah. For you and our friends." I bite my lip and say, "It's that boy over there, right"
She looks behind me and obviously hadn't seen is face either because all the sudden her jaw drops and her face goes pale.
"I know he's hot but damn Hannah, I've never seen you so affected by a BOY!" I say giggling.
"We have to get out of here. Now." she says taking my by the arm and running me out of the little shop.
"What the hell?? Hannah is everything okay?"
"No, it's not. Get in my car. Troye get in my car right this second we are leaving."
I'm so confused. Hannah is running her hands through her hair and her hands shake as she puts the keys in. As we pull into the road she is breathing heavily and looks like she's about to cry. I don't know what to do,
"Hannah....who was that?" I ask slowly
She takes a deep breath and says shakily,
"He's Tyler's ex boyfriend" she pauses and adds:
"And he raped me"
YOU ARE READING
So This is Highschool (Troyler AU)
FanfictionWhen Troye, a depressed and suicidal teenage boy from New York, transfers to a new school in L.A for his senior year, he is introduced to Tyler and his group of friends who might just be enough to turn his life around for the better.
