That One Lie

19th Lie

Hindi na ko gaanong busy dahil tapos na ang mock exam na pinagpupuyatan ko ng nakaraang mga linggo. I think I am more confident now that I can pass the actual exam by the end of this school year. Ang bilis ng panahon. Third term na pala.

"Anya, pupunta daw si Miss Maya mamaya."

"Tell her I'm busy."

"Ang busy mo nga kakapanood ng TV."

Inalis ko ang tingin sa pinapanood at naabutan ko syang nakaupo na pala sa single couch na katabi ng inuupuan ko dito sa long sofa. May hawak syang nakabukas na Physical Science book na supposedly eh para sa next school year. Ang advance nya naman masyado.

"I don't have plans of seeing her again," sabay balik ng tingin sa TV.

"Anong balak mo? Mag-stay dito sa loob ng bahay for the rest of your life?"

"That's not too bad. Andyan ka naman."

Hindi ko naisip agad na iba pala ang meaning ng sinabi ko. I didn't even realize how stupid that idea is. I thought he will tease me, like implying that I am treating him as a husband already, along with his smug face smirking at me. Kaso, isang seryosong Simon ang nakita ko.

"What's the point of you studying for the qualifying exam if you don't want to go to a regular school? Hindi ka na nga lumalabas ng bahay."

My initial plan was to pass the qualifying exam for the year I missed so that I can go to regular school again. Hindi pa din naman naalis sa isip ko yung bumalik ulit ng school. But right now, I don't think living with Simon is a bad idea.

Mas kaya ko pang sya na lang ang makita for the rest of my life that interact with people I don't even care about or pretend caring for people I'm gonna forget once the school year is over. My plan right now is just to pass the exam. Saka ko na lang iisipin ang mangyayari pagkatapos nun kung gusto ko pa din ba.

"That's the weight of the responsibility you now shoulder when you offered me this lie, Simon. Hindi mo ba nacalculate na mangyayari to? Nagsisisi ka na ba? Do you now regret offering me that one lie? Kung oo, just give me my necklace back and leave this house."

"So you can go back to being a shut-in?"

"Hindi mo na problema yun, Simon. I'm gonna live my life the way I want to."

"Is that really the kind of life you want, Anya? Parang di naman..."

Tumayo sya at nilampasan ako para magtungo sa kitchen. Buti na lang kasi hindi ko rin alam kung anong klase ng emosyon ang makikita sa mga mata ko. I never wanted a lonely life. Sino ba naman ang may gusto na mag-isa ka sa buhay, only child, no parents, walang friends (except for Archer, I guess), at wala ring motivation to live life to the fullest.

Nagulat ako ng magbaba sya ng fresh strawberries sa mesa. Yun pala yung kinuha nya sa kitchen. See? What else should I ask for?

"Thanks," aabot na sana ko ng isa ng tapikin nya ang kamay ko at iniwas sakin ang plato ng strawberries. "Anong problema mo?"

"Kumuha ka ng sayo. Andami dun sa ref. Akin yan."

Kulang na lang sumayad sa sahig yung baba ko habang nakatingin sa kanya. His barbaric personality is at its best again. Binabawi ko na ang sinasabi ko kanina.

"Barbarian."

"Whatever, Anya."

Hindi na ko nagkukulong sa kwarto simula ng sapilitan nya kong hilahin palabas ng bahay para bumili ng fried chicken. Lumalabas na ko at lagi na kaming nagkikita ni Simon dahil lagi akong nakatambay sa living room pero hindi pa rin ako lumalabas ng mismong bahay. I don't want to see any of those people in this neighborhood kahit pa ilang buwan na rin ang nakalipas ng mamatay si mommy.