The Siren's Song

Chapter 29- but there's someone to catch me when I fall

JIMIN POV:

Who knew rushing after Tannie's boisterous, energetic self would bring me here to this moment? Initially it had started off as a chase after the fluffy sweet menace, then it had been concern for the still statue the girl had been, broken only by the small tremors wracking her body and then that concern had only grown when she'd never raised her head or told me she was fine for all the okay gestures she made. I don't know what made me stop, but something tugged me to sit down next to her- felt as if she wasn't actually fine and made me want to keep an eye out for her.

I thought she'd rise and head off when the rain began but her clear refusal to move showed me that she was willing to get drenched. So I had to resort to feigning ignorance and repeating my questions for her to raise her head and yell at me, glare at me, any reaction that would ease the worry and let me go home without it hovering over me.

But I didn't expect the head to rise to reveal a familiar face. (Y/N). A very tear-stained, wobbling lips, flushed cheeks and hurting eyes (Y/N). My heart ached at the pained sight in front of me, feel my heart crumble where finally up close to her I can see the weariness coating her features, see the harsher angle to her jaw- losing some of that soft full roundness to give way to a weary face; hyung was right, I didn't think she was eating well, it looked like whatever she was going through was pushing her need and concern for her personal health to the side. It hurt seeing the raw gaping vulnerability in her eyes, the pain and grief in them as she looked up at me- surprise barely filtering through the emotion laden orbs.

"(Y/N)?" her name slips out of my mouth, surprise and worry in that one word.

I sink down in front of her, watching as Tannie scrambles out from under her legs and paws at her side, trying to clamber onto her lap. Her legs shift automatically, lowering to give him that space and even as he looks happily at her, tail quickly wagging behind him and a bark of greeting, she just looks down at him vacantly, eyes still trickling down tears silently. He clambers up, supporting his weight on his back legs as he paws gently at her, head rising as he tries to get closer to her, whining low in his throat when she doesn't reciprocate his eagerness, tail slowing down.

He nudges at her, peering up at her.

"What's wrong (Y/N)?" I ask gently, heart twisting with panic.

The rain begins to get heavier and it's then I note the laptop discarded to the side, shutting it and putting it into the discarded bag on the side, protecting it from damage.

"(Y/N)...give me a sign. You're worrying me here." I say, hand hovering hesitantly over her leg before coming to rest on her slightly damp denim-clad knee- mentally bracing for the visceral flinch, for her to shudder at my touch- expecting her to stiffen, the sight of her jerking back from hyung's touch is still fresh in my mind.

But rather than stiffen, she imperceptibly sags- as if the touch comforts her. And I realise that sometimes physical touch is the reassurance that some need, that it brings them comfort in a way that words can't.

Maybe that's what (Y/N) needs.

Every part of me is screaming to just hug her, the vulnerable outline of her, the shattered expression on her face and the way she continues to silently cry and shake is tearing at my insides, ripping apart ideas of control. Just like I would for the others, just like I would for Tae and Kookie when they come to me upset I want to hold her close and rock her gently, shelter her from the world and keep her safe between my arms.

Maybe sometimes it's best to follow instinct and throw caution to the wind.

"Come here sweetie." The term of endearment slips off my tongue but I barely note it, barely fret over it mentally, that it'll scare her away but when my arms go around her, holding her close she seems to break, melting and folding into the embrace. There's a suppressed sound of a gasp- inaudible but I feel the shudder against my shoulder where her head leans against and I can feel the trembling of her in my arms, shaking.