Is This Happiness

46

"Hey Carmen." I look up to see Harper walking down the steps. "Hi." I mutter timidly, flipping my hair over my shoulder. Sighing loudly, I feel her shadow over me.

The warm sun hitting my face became a cloud of Harper. She doesn't say anything continuing to stand over me. After the day before with Stefano he took me to the bedroom I slept in and never came back.

Exactly what I expect, what I wanted. Was it truly what I wanted tho? Skipping breakfast I made my escape to the small dock I sat on with Stefano before. "You okay?" No.

"Yes why?" She doesn't look convinced by my words, taking a seat. "I heard something from a little birdie, just checking."

"And what was that?" I remove my feet from the water, hugging my legs to my chest.

"It's not important."

"If you mentioned it yeah it is." I didn't mean to sound the way I did. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay Carmen." She reassures me. "You can talk to me i'm your friend."

"You see how my last friendship went." She links her arm with mine. Laying her head down on to my shoulder.

"You're broken Carmen, you have been since Jason. It's catching up with you now. I knew she was right when a tease escaped my eye.

"I miss him." I never got to have closure.

"My brother is a different story then?"

"I hate him."

"No you don't." She was right. "I want to." Her hand soothes my back. It was awkward talking about her brother with her.

Not only did I see a side of him they never did. It was weird to go from friends to being two people who stare at each other from across the room. Once I came back and Stefano and I got closer, the farther Harper moved away.

"I don't know what you see in a man like him."

I lift my head to look at her. I wasn't shocked by her words. I knew what they thought of him.

I wanted to bite back and ask her why she fell for Xavier. He was no angel, I know that much.

"You wouldn't understand." She nods, not continuing. "I feel like I need to protect him."

Her brows furrowed waiting for me to continue my words. "I just want to be there for him, but not here. I want to keep him with me forever, so he'll never be harmed. I think to myself why? I mean what the fuck am I thinking and why do I feel this way, I'm too young to feel this way and yet I do."

"You love him." I snap my head up, thinking of the possibility. "Harper-" A small smile falls onto her face shutting me up. "You do."

"I can't."

"He needs you, neither of us know why but he does."

"When you two you know, did that cause the feelings you think?" She continues.

"What do I know?" I ask her genuinely confused. "When you.. when you fucked him."

My mouth falls open and I feel heat rush to my cheeks. "We haven't!" She hurts into a fit of laughter and I stare embarrassed.

"What you're serious?" She stops with a dead pause. "He's barely touched .. me." I drag out my words, looking out into the water. Something was there between Stefano and me, but it wasn't entirely sexual.

I wanted him touching me in places I wouldn't be comfortable saying out loud, but nevertheless I wanted him.

"You're telling me you've never done anything sexual with Stefano?" Her mouth standing open.

"Not entirely."

"Men like him don't stick around if they don't get things in return. He really does have feelings for you." She said it almost like she couldn't believe it.

"You didn't think so?" No one did.

"No it's not that it's just .. the mafia." That's always the excuse.

"Yeah, the mafia."

"I see the way he looks at you. He watches you, he looks around like a bullet will come flying at your head at any moment."

"He always does." I cut her off, denying her words. There's no way.

"Let me finish." I gesture with a facial expression. "He's a closed off creature Carmen that can I say? I've known him for seventeen years of what I remember you know, but i've never been close with him like you have in the past what months? He's different with you, it's a good different. I think even your mom came around to that, but then with the engagement."

Her words fall from her mouth and she becomes quiet. She didn't know about the engagement being fake. Was it even real?

"You know what I mean." she repeats.

"Yeah."

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