Time After Everything || a Sequel to Saving Myself

XLIX

Erick had never cried this much ever before. Not when his father first hit him. Not when Teddy had let him stay in his flat. Not even when his mother died.

But now, tears flowed steadily down his cheeks, pooling under his chin, wetting the sleeves of his intern's robes. How long had he been sitting like this?

Standing roughly, he yanked the robes over his head, balling them up and throwing them at the opposite wall. He didn't deserve them. How could he, if he had let Scorpius. . .Scorpius.

Erick's heart sank to his stomach, making him feel sick. With a fresh sob, Erick collapsed back into the chair Teddy had set up for him just that morning. An image of Scorpius' lifeless form, eyes closed. The blonde had given him hints as to what he was going to do and what had Erick done? He left Scorpius even though he knew something was wrong.

Erick felt like vomiting when he remembered hugging Scorpius. He had hugged the smaller boy tightly, while Scorpius' arms remained loose. That must have been his silent goodbye, Erick concluded solemnly, swallowing thickly.

Wiping at his eyes, he took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. But that method didn't last long before another sob tore at his throat.

At that moment, the door to the office opened and Erick jumped from his seat, almost bowling Teddy over as he asked, "Is he okay? Is he---he isn't, y'know. . ."

Teddy shook his head, his eyes flashing grey before returning to their usual purple colour. "He's stable," he replied, blinking absently. "Rossier told me to take a breather."

"Did he leave anything?" Erick questioned softly, hoping he didn't sound too desperate for his intended question: Did he leave something for me?

Teddy nodded mutely, the roots of his hair shifting to a dull grey momentarily. "Yeah. Yeah, he did." From the inside pocket of his robes, Teddy pulled out a book---the same one Erick had given Scorpius just a few days ago. Erick's heart sank. "He left a note. . .well, it's not too bright and happy."

Erick asked, "Am I in it?"

Teddy wilted. "We all are." Handing it to Erick, he said, "I'll have to go tell Harry and Draco."

"I'll go see him. I---I can, can't I?"

Teddy ran a hand through his hair, clearing off a space on his desk. "Yeah, yeah, of course, Erick. I dunno if he'll even be awake."

"Then I'll just sit there and be with him." Erick stood up straight even though he felt like folding in on himself. Like I should have been.

Teddy rubbed his face, saying softly, "That's fine. I might come check up on the two of you before I Apparate." He looked at his watch, letting out a breath. "I'll have to owl Olly and tell him I might not be back until morning." Seemingly as an afterthought, Teddy added, "Make sure you eat something, alright?"

Erick nodded, but he didn't really feel like eating anything at all. Instead of dwelling on the idea of food, Erick's mind was fixated on Scorpius. When he finally made it to Scorpius' room, he felt his chest cave as he looked around the room. It was empty aside from the hospital bed and a very small dresser.

Erick summoned a chair, sitting close to Scorpius' bedside, looking down at his sleeping form; his skin was deathly pale, dark bags under his eyes, his breathing deep. The blonde would have seemed peaceful if Erick hadn't known why he was like this.

Erick held Scorpius' limp hand, whispering, "I'm sorry," as more tears flowed from his eyes. If his imagination was trying to be him happy, it sure wasn't working too hard, because when he thought he received the faintest of squeezes, Erick just felt his heart crack.