Lost to be Found

Stairs

I lie on the floor, trying to breathe and I instantly feel comfortable when arms of Naksh surround me tight. 

"Don't worry Parul. I am right here" he whispers

-- Next Day -- 

I am up by 6 am. I rush into my mom's room and check if she came back. 

I find her on the couch in a deep slumber holding my brother's missing posters

*MISSING: SAHIL* 

On the poster was the picture of my brother, smiling. A smile - that portrayed happiness, amiability and innocence. 

I get ready to go to college. 

*10:00 am* 

I was in the auditorium, 10 am sharp.

Holding a pen, looking around for Naksh.

*10:45 am* 

Just an unknown hustle in front of my eyes, people running here and there - few talking, few laughing, and a few angry. Emotions. 

And I was sitting on the stairs, waiting for Naksh. Holding a pen. 

Diary entry 5: 

Emotions run wild. A hug can change your day, a coffee spill can change your day but in various ways. Every small event changes your emotion - an uncontrollable phenomenon. And as humans, I find it surprising that we are always under a turmoil of emotions something we are never aware of. How lucky is it to have control over these thoughts, the feels and the response? As, I sit here and wait for Naksh, the feeling of fear when I looked at my drunk Dad smile, the shiver running down my spine making my blood turn cold but I also can't help but replay the warmth of Naksh's hug, the serenity of his words - genuine. These moments, the little moments become special when mixed with emotions. Emotions are evil, emotions are fanciable - like a roleplay between god and satan. Disturbing but beautiful. Meaningful but hurtful. 

* 11:30 am * 

I look up and with the corner of my eye, I see Naksh running, with a bag slipping off his shoulder and he trying to fix a messy hair all while finding his way through the crowd to make it to the auditorium. 

"HI GUYS, Oh my god I am so sorry I tried but couldn't make it on time. Are we still on and running with the schedule we planned?" He announces as he keeps walking into the auditorium 

"Yes, Naksh. I have it all here. We are now left with 2 more auditions for the last dance, you might want to come and check with that?" Roy says 

"Uh, well sure in a bit." he looks at me and smiles 

* He smiles and I blush *

"So, Parul! I hope you are doing better, today?" he asks as he keeps walking towards me

"Well,  I think so. Thank you so much for yesterday. I am sorry, I couldn't tell this to you last night." 

"Yeah, I could sense that. You were lost in my arms" he winks 

* I gasp * 

"Relax, I was just messing around" he laughs 

* A silent pause * 

"So, is there any luck with Sahil?" he asks 

"No, not that I know of " I sigh 

"That's unfortunate. What a pity." he nods 

* 6:30 pm * 

I lie on the couch, waiting for my Mom, finding the strength to pick up the phone to give her a call. 

The door creaks and I freak.

"Hey, honey I am home" Mom enters

I sigh in relief 

"Mom? Is there any news so far?" 

"No, and the police asked me to stop coming and continue with my work and that they'd let me know if they come across anything related to him." 

I get up to walk towards her and give a hug. She breaks down. 

We wait for tomorrow, for a piece of better news. 

Diary entry 6: 

Something about strength captivates me - a weird attribute of threat. An opportunity in the time of adversity can only be seen if you have the strength to look at it. The world keeps shattering but strength holds you together but how long can you hold to this strength and think everything is going to be alright? Every road sees a turn, do you keep riding while predicting and preparing for a turn or will you think about it when you see it? Questions running in my head. My mother is the strongest person I know - facing some unseen obstacles and accelerating through it. Sometimes it feels like Sahil and I are the fuel that drives her car, not her strength. Is strength a quality that drifts you away from the phase of reality - to accept it as it is or does it give you the power to change the reality? 

* 12:30 am * 

I go to my Mom's room to find her asleep. I lie beside her, hug her and sleep.