chapter twelve - alone

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𓆚Draco Malfoy𓆚

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𓆚Draco Malfoy𓆚

Although I saw the place where I grew up damaged, watching Bella collapse onto the cold grass was the worst experience of the night. I went to take a step back before Snape grabbed the nape of my neck, holding me in place. In the time she needed me most, I failed her. Bellatrix skipped maliciously over to us.

"Can I do the honors?" Her wand was at the ready, aiming at my sweet Hufflepuff. I swallowed hard, saying nothing. Either she dies here or dies later at the hands of war. Yet, I'm not sure which I would rather.

"Do it. Hufflepuffs are traitors," I said, trying to cover any emotions.

"It is not our place to kill, yet. The Dark Lord instructed us to wait," Snape spat in a tight voice, releasing me. My aunt huffed before continuing on her trail of destruction. Snape turned sharply, looking me in the eye.

"You jeopardized yourself."

I was speechless, feeling as though I wanna as shameful. After taking one look back at her to see Hermione helping her, I followed the fires. I wanted to see her for our last and seventh year at Hogwarts but I had no idea if I would ever return. These months could land me in a grave, Azkaban, or standing on the grave of the only girl who made me feel anything. With this mark, freedom and acceptance wasn't an option.

The sky illuminated, ridding the Mark from view. They were grieving and I wanted to be there. I know she was in tears, wishing I was there for comfort but settling for her classmates. Her eyes would be red, her bottom lip would be quivering, her shoulders would be shaking, her lip would be torn up from her habit of biting it. Bella needed me, but I didn't need her. I needed my parents alive. I needed to be alive.

******

The next few months were certainly uneventful. I sent Bella a few owls, but I wasn't sure if Hogwarts was still in session throughout those letters. I only sent them at night and she needed to know I was alive. It made me feel the slightest bit at ease, but Bella never sent anything to me. I was starting to think that she got my letters, but refused to acknowledge I existed after knowing what I have become. The skin around my mark began to crack and burn; I scrubbed at it every night to see if one day, I would be lucky enough to wash it away. That day has yet to come. My thoughts were scattered, not knowing what was the safest bet to think of. I wondered where she was, what she was doing. Was she thinking of me?

My dark circles worsened. I was a shell, empty, nothing. Mum tried to ease my transition, but tonight we had another meeting with Him at our Manor. I wasn't myself, it was like I was watching myself from someone else's body. My movements were slow as I pulled on my black turtleneck and dress pants. My finger still felt bare since the ring that has been there for years was gone. Full of anger from the thought of being pulled away from her, I snatched my suit jacket and walked down stairs.

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