Afraid [Morgwen]

There's Something Important

-Merlin-

     "Merliiiiiin!" He ran up to the prince, seemingly lost, as if he was in his own thoughts. Which he, in fact, was. Merlin had been thinking about his magic, what he could be risking by telling Morgana. He was definitely right, she had magic, and if he told her this there was no way she could hold it against him. She wouldn't anyway, he was sure of that.

     "Merlin, there you are, you incompetent fool." This was the first thing Arthur said to him. Merlin rolled his eyes. Arthur broke out a smile and walked over. Merlin mirrored his expression, and after making sure they were alone, he gave him a press to the lips. "We didn't get a chance to greet well this morning, now, did we?" Merlin just shook his head, still smiling. Arthur's look of content faded, however, which caused the latter to grow worried. 

     "What's wrong?" The prince's eyes glossed, he stared at nothing. "Father wants me to arrest everyone who is suspicious of sorcery. He thinks the fire was an act of magic." He then turned his gaze to Merlin, he seemed cautious, as if he didn't want to say the word. He was definitely asking for help. Emotionally. 

     Uther put too much pressure on his son. It was exhausting. The lengths he would go to burn magic out of his kingdom would surpass his own health. And Merlin was so tired of hiding. He cannot imagine Morgana's internal conflict. "You should do what you can, Arthur, your responsibility should not be held until you wear yourself out." Arthur only nodded, pecking Merlin on the cheek briefly, "I have to go." And he marched off. 

-Morgana-

      Gaius had said it had been stress. She was imagining things, the remedy would work well, it would calm her and help her clear her mind. Then why could she not feel any better? She couldn't stay still, she couldn't stop thinking, wondering. She had lit the candle, she made it rise. She would not let anyone erase that from her mind. 

     Gwen caught her pacing in her room. She gave her a soft look, not of pity, but of worry. She knew how Morgana could get sometimes, it was harmful for her to be left alone in these periods of time when her stress rose so much. "Mi'lady, please sit down, come," She sat on the bed and patted the space next to her. "Oh please Gwen, we're alone, no need to call me that." She obliged.

     They sat in silence for a few seconds, each thinking of what to say next. In the end, the decided to remain silent. Morgana layed down nonchalantly, waiting for Gwen to do the same, which she did. Gwen held her gently to her chest, doing what she knew best, the only comfort she could offer. They would do this from time to time, when one of them felt down, they would just lay and breathe. They would just be. 

     Morgana never sincerely wanted merely that. She cherished those moments deeply, but she wished they would come with a label that wasn't friendship. She loved Gwen very much, and she knew it wasn't only in a platonic way. It was so bittersweet. She was so close and yet so far from her reach. 

     And every time she would always reach out for Gwen. At the moment, however, there was a different matter at play. "Gwen, There's something important I want you to know." She furrowed her brows in response, urging her to continue.  She tried breathing in deeply, but that wouldn't stop the chortled sob that leaked out of fear. Guinevere stroked her hair, whispering that everything would be okay, "You can tell me, don't worry, if it is a secret I'll keep it." Gathering up her courage again, Morgana tightened her grip around Gwen's waist, and softly she said, "I think I have magic."

-Gwen- 

     She let out a shaken breath. Closing her eyes she prayed this would turn out fine. If she was honest with herself, she had suspected this for a long time. Strange things would always happen when Morgana awoke troubled by nightmares, and even when she was merely bored, or simply excited. Actually, if she remembered and began counting the times when vases exploded in a shattering mess, or when plants would grow significantly faster when Morgana was near, or even  when she walked too loud and the torches rose higher. 

     Gwen was scared. She had the right to be of course, she had grown in a place where magic was the worst thing you could possibly own. Yet as she thought more about it, as she looked into Morgana's hopeful stare who waited for an answer, she realized that with a little time she could get used to it. So, Gwen shut her eyes in slight frustration, painfully aware of the challenges this would bring. "It's okay. You're okay." She offered. Though she didn't want to think about the later. She only thought of the now. 

     Morgana's breaths evened slowly. She began to calm down, yet only for a short while, for she seemed to have gotten lost once again in her restless mind. "What if father finds out? What will he do to me? Gwen, oh please, will I be burnt?" She continued sobbing, a little raspier this time, losing her voice. Her exasperation was clear, and Gwen felt powerless. 

     "We'll make sure he doesn't find out, okay? He doesn't have to know. We can hold it to ourselves, and he won't see." It did not help. Of course it didn't, that wasn't what she had asked, but what else was there to say? She could only do so much. Yet Morgana nodded along, and Guinevere tangled her hands in her hair, and softly speaking of what she wanted to hear. 

-Morgana- 

     They laid like that for a while. Something she wished lasted longer, so she could still be in Gwen's arms, and she only vaguely thought about her dangerous gift. 

     Yet the news that had interfered were more comforting to her than expected.

     A lively knock was heard at the door, and after poising themselves, she called for them to come in. Merlin strode through, shutting the door quietly behind him, with his cheeks drained of color. "Hello Merlin." Greeted Guinevere. After a short nod of acknowledgement, he walked shakenly closer to them. "Are you alright?" She added. "There's something you should know Morgana." Was all he said. She let him continue, "This is something I've never been able to tell anyone. I'm absolutely forbidden from doing so." The two women glanced at each other, their eyes wider. "Morgana," he lowered his head, "I have magic. And so do you."