Ashes and Embers

11. The Magic of Unicorns

I brushed off any sandwich crumbs that might linger on my romper. The sparkles on the baby pink fabric danced as I brought my plate over to the dishwasher, reflecting specks of light on the surfaces of the kitchen.

"Are there any scones here?" I asked Julie, facing her. She looked surprised by my sudden change of topic, but what she didn't know was that Megan's insistence over the non-existence of unicorns now bored me. She often insisted that my 'infatuation' with mythical creatures was 'crazy'. Usually, I ignored it, but today, she was going after unicorns.

Insulting unicorns goes too far.

Of course, it wasn't just unicorns and other magical creatures that 'infatuated' me. Cats were my favorite living animal, ones that Megan could not insist did not exist. I'm certain she's seen a cat at some point in her life.

And yet, she also makes fun of my love of cats. Peculiar.

Maybe she just needs to go hug a cat. I've heard hugging a cat shoots away all ill feelings towards the animal. I'll have to find a cat for her to hug.

"I... I don't think there are scones right now," Julie said, still looking surprised, as my heart sank. I loved scones. They're the best food that's ever existed, and I always look for the opportunity to eat a scone. Fortunately, with the masquerade quickly approaching, my opportunity will soon arrive.

"That's upsetting," I said, announcing my feelings to the world. It's important to always be completely open with those around you. Keep no secrets, be honest, and eat scones. Unfortunately, I seem to be the only one who sticks to that rule. Mommy had taught it to me and Alexandre, but he too never stuck to that rule. He did the complete opposite of that rule. He's a butthead.

A lying, secret-keeping, scone-hating butthead.

"We need more scones in this house," I declared. "I think we should all petition to always have scones on standby, so we'll never be disappointed by a lack of scones ever again. We shall never be scone-less, and so we'll all be happy. Kriss will stop depressing people all the time - " Not that she didn't have a valid excuse to be so dark and morbid. " - and maybe Megan will be happy all the time as well, and she'll finally channel her inner unicorn and discover that cats are the best thing to ever bless this world in the modern age."

Megan blinked. "Channel my inner unicorn?" she repeated, sounding flabbergasted. Hehe. I liked that word. Flabbergasted. I think flabbergast would make a good name for a mythical creature. "Are there unicorns living inside all of us now?"

I giggled. "Don't be silly," I reprimanded, still thinking of a flabbergast. "It's an expression, you potato! Like, hold your horses or the cat is out of the bag. Which, by the way, is also silly. Why would you put a cat in the bag? Or did it go in there on its own? You really shouldn't be putting cats inside of bags like they're potatoes from the grocery store," A thought occurred to me. "Oh no! Do people actually eat cats? What kind of psychopath would do that? Do they have no moral compass? Why is it called a 'moral compass', anyways? Is there actually a tiny little compass inside our heads, like the one that points north? Does that mean our sense of direction is actually the tiny little compass?" I gasped. "When somebody doesn't know where they are, does that mean their compass is broken?"

"Jamie," Megan interrupted. "Nobody has ever told me to channel my inner unicorn."

Why was she still hung up on that?

"Also," she continued. "Did you just call me a potato?"

I think a flabbergast would look like a blobfish, but a bright blue with tiny arms and legs, and it would be covered with fuzz. It would look like a fluffy blue blobfish with arms and legs... or a tiny, fluffy, two-eyed blue Mike Wazowski!