Frozen Heart

xxviii. not so secret admirer

"Hey! I heard that!" Tin admonishes who's finished scrolling through his phone. "Don't worry Ae, I never wish you to be Can as well. Can is only Can."

"Oh, you're still with us? I thought for sure you're drowned in your Can world." Pete.

"I'm going." Tin pockets his phone and hoists his backpack on his shoulder then he walks away, steps hurried, leaving the couple behind him. 

"Hey! Don't I get a thank you?" Tin doesn't even look back. Pete sighs, "What a good brother he is."

"Don't mind him, baby, he's in love."

"Yeah and I just wish Can pulled his head out of his ass because honestly? This little game they have is not funny anymore, I'm so exhausted for them," Pete faces Ae and cups his cheeks. "I'm just happy we don't have drama like them."

Ae chuckles and pulls Pete in a passionate kiss. 

/

Huffing with the bunches of packaging wraps in both his hands containing almost all the food Can has on his list, Tin blinks the weariness from his system and enters the university gate. His cheeks are flushed and he's still panting from all the running he'd done since he opted to use his feet than his car since the stores are closer at each other anyway. 

Knowing that Can's at the field, practicing soccer, like where he's always at since there's going to have an interschool competition next week, Tin goes straight to Can's locker like what he usually does since last week.

With his bowed head to check if he got all the foods Can wants, Tin doesn't notice that far ahead is Can himself, standing in front of his locker. 

Only Tin does notice Can when the latter speaks up, "What are you doing here?"

Tin feels the pounding of his heart hearing Can's voice near him. Either he's anxious that Can is near him again or Can may realize Tin's the one putting those foods in his locker though they're not supposed to be on speaking terms anymore and that may anger Can, Tin doesn't know either.

But Tin feels nervous, an unusual feeling since he's usually calm but really though, he shouldn't be surprised anymore since, with Can, he's surely going to feel all those foreign feelings. Only with Can.

"I-I'm just," Tin heaves a sigh and schools his expression into one that says 'I miss you, yes but I'm totally not stalking you or anything like that, but yes I miss you so much'. "Just walking, why? Is the school yours now?"

Can huffs and rolls his eyes. "Whatever." He continues to organize his books but not before throwing a questioning glance at the bunch of foods Tin in his hands.

"It's for my friends."

Tin mentally sighs when Can only nods and he makes no point of questioning that these foods are oddly the same with Can usually craves for. 

"Why are you ignoring me? Why aren't you picking up your phone?" There. Tin should've done this since last week. Have a talk with Can. 

Can shakes his head.

"Can, talk to me. I'm so confused at you, one moment we're okay the next moment, we're not anymore. What did I do to you, anyway? I wasn't the one to pour you that slime."

Can glares at Tin. "Really? Then, who did that? You're the only one who has a weird habit of pouring slime to people."

At this point of time, Tin is cursing himself, why the hell has he appointed himself to have that iconic revenge to people? Now, when someone uses the same method, it's automatically Tin. Damn it. Someone is definitely out there, very mad at Tin. 

"It's not me, that's for sure. There's no reason for me to do that, alright? Tell me, why will I do that to you, we were okay now, right?"

Can stops and leans on the locker. "Also my question, why will you do that? I thought we're okay?"

"Because it's not me! How many times I'm going to tell you that?"

"Could've fooled me."

Tin shakes his head and sighs. "Know what, you're so confusing. I don't know what you want to do in your life anymore. I feel like you're just treating me as if I'm a fucking toy. Make up your mind, will you? One moment you're ignoring me the other you want to get to close to me. What the hell do you really want?"

Can blinks, his lips forming into a small pout and damn did Tin want to kiss those luscious lips, he misses the feeling of kissing those lips, but he controls himself. 

Tin heaves another deep sigh. "If you want me out of your life, fine! Don't expect me to chase after you anymore, I'm so done understanding you. Don't worry, this is the last time I'm going to be talking to you. Have a nice day."

Tin takes one look at Can, shakes his head, and continues to walk away. If ever he sees Can on the verge of crying and if ever Tin feels the need to go back to him just so he could comfort Can because the prospect of seeing him crying brought a painful clench in his chest, Tin ignores all of it and continues to leave. 

But when he's with his friends already, staring at the floor, Tin realizes maybe he was too much with Can back there. He quickly regrets everything he said. Leave Can? Who is he kidding? Certainly not himself. How can ever Tin leave Can when the mere idea of ignoring him brought an unimaginable searing pain in him?

"To whom are these for?" Kengkla finally speaks up when Tin remains to stare at the floor.

"Here." Tin gives the foods to Kengkla and turns to leave.

He's going to apologize to Can and maybe, finally, confess to him. If Can doesn't reciprocate his feelings, it's fine, yes it's going to be painful but it's fine, but Tin promises to himself he's never going to leave Can because Tin can't do that to Can. No. Never. Tin can't give up on Can.

However, Tin stops on his tracks when he sees right in front of Can's locker is him and a girl in a tight hug.

Tin grips his jaw and his fists in a ball. No, that can't be happening, he can't be too late. 

Fortunately, Can pulls from the hug and blinks at the girl. "Huh? What are you saying?"

"Yes, P'Can. I'm your secret admirer."

Wait, what the fuck?

//

thoughts?

i'm still bummed out pete and ae broke up 😭😭