Love Sets You Free • Elena Alvarez [✓]

two | anxiety

"carlotta, ms. alvarez will send you to school together with alex and elena, okay, sweetie?" juliette told her. "yeah, mama. you told me. that's okay." carlotta nodded, though a little sadly. "sweetie, i'm sorry we had to move." juliette apologizes. "we can't help these things, ma." carlotta shook her head. and as she checked her backpack one last time, penelope knocks on their front door, "lotta! good morning, carino." "coming, ms. alvarez!" carlotta grabs her backpack, said bye to her mom and brother then headed out. "good morning." carlotta greeted the three of them. "buenos dias." penelope smiled at her widely. "hey." alex said back with a wave. "hi, carly." elena smiled goofily. "ay dios mio, stop flirting, elena." alex teased. "shut up." elena quickly shushed him as they got in the car. alex sat in front with penelope, elena and carlotta at the back.

elena and carlotta were chatting as they were on their way to school. meanwhile, alex trying to get money from penelope to go see a movie with his friends after school. "okay. here's ten bucks." penelope sighed, giving in as she handed him the money. "i'm going to watch a movie in this century. it's in color. a ticket alone costs nine-fifty." alex looks at the note. "yeah. and i expect change." "no, i feel your pain." elena chimed in, "i never have enough money to go see movies with my friends." "or...enough friends to see movies with friends?" alex laughed. "hey!" elena screeched, "must you always make fun of me for that?" "lena." carlotta sighed softly, putting her hand on elena's. she calmed down a little. "papito, please." penelope chided, "that's not funny." "really, mami?" elena stared into the rearview mirror, upset, "you were laughing too." "okay, elena. I'm sorry." penelope apologises wholeheartedly. "i'm her friend, okay?" carlotta spoke. "i know, lotta." penelope nodded her head. it was carlotta's very first day at st. bibiana academy today and elena was in charge of showing her around. also...surprise, surprise. they had the same schedules. "yay! we have the same schedule." elena smiled, looking at it. "abuelita thinks we're dating." elena said. "she does?" she laughed nervously. the two of them were walking really close together and elena had her arm loosely draped across carlotta's shoulder. "she's like, aggressively okay with me being gay. but worse, she's desperately wanting me to get another s/o."

— * —

"oh, you can sit right there." elena pointed to an empty desk beside her own. carlotta sat down, wobbly. "what's wrong, are you okay?" elena questioned concerned. "i- i feel-" carlotta stuttered. the blood pounded in her ears. her heart thudded in her chest. her hands shook. her feet tingled. her vision was disfigured, as if she were looking through a fish-eye lens. she was all of a sudden overwhelmed by the nerves of first day of school. "carly, carly look at me." elena gently took her hands, "carly. you'll be okay. just breathe, just breathe. take a deep breath— i'm here with you, you're safe." they were the first few students in class, by the way. "you feeling better?" elena asks quietly. "yeah. yeah." carlotta exhales, still a little shakily, "that was weird. i'm sorry. i don't know what's wrong with me." "nothing." elena assured, "nothing's wrong with you." "has this happened before?" elena pulls her chair closer. "a couple times." carlotta nodded, taking a gulp of water. "nothing's wrong with you, carly. i think what you just had was an anxiety attack. i know, because i get them too. it runs in my family...maybe it runs in yours, too." elena explained. "ohh, honestly i'm happy to hear that." carlotta lets out a sigh of relief, "i thought i was just going crazy." "you're gonna be fine. maybe talk to your mom about this when you can— so if you need to see someone, she knows and she can help you with that." "thanks, lena." carlotta smiled, grateful.

after school, the two of them head home together while alex was out with some friends to watch a movie. they were on the bus. and two guys started staring at them. this was what elena saw on her phone.

why were they staring? god knows why? because they were leaning their heads on top of each other? elena and carlotta both felt extremely uncomfortable being stared at but they were getting off the bus in a minute or so. however, they got followed. "come on, you guys. kiss! we really wanna see it- just kiss." they started repeating over and over. elena saw how terrified carlotta was and actually pulled her closer despite this being what the guys wanted to see. she wanted to protect her. the two girls then walked quickly to a more crowded area and lost the guys in a crowd, fortunately. "you wanna hang out at my place for a little bit?" elena suggested. "yeah, that's better than being home alone." carlotta agreed as elena opens the door to the apartment. "hi, abuelita." elena said. "hi." carlotta added on. "hi, elena. hi, lotta. how was school?" lydia asks. "it was fine." carlotta answered first. "yup." elena nodded, "we'll be in my room." "ay, miras. you girls don't want lunch? i made pollo con ajo." lydia asked. "later, abuelita. we have some work to do first." elena informs her, pushing carlotta into her room. "elena, why- wh-" carlotta squinted, confused, "we could've had lunch with your abuelita first." "sí, pero quiero hablar contigo primero." elena started talking in spanish. "why do you want to talk with me first?" carlotta asks, genuinely curious. "oh, tú hablas español?" elena chuckled, "i thought you'd be confused." "i know a little bit ; learnt it in school, but i'm not very fluent." "ohh. you're pretty good,"  elena gestured for her to sit down, "anyway, i wanted to talk to you about what happened just now. make sure you're really okay." "ay, elena. i'm okay." carly responded, "been through worse. that's nothing. but it did make me uncomfortable." "yeah, that's why i wanted to make sure you're alright. i'm glad you are. but if you ever want to talk about anything, you can come to me, okay?" elena flashed a smile. "thanks, lena. you really helped me today with the uh, anxiety attack." carlotta nodded. "again, glad you're okay." elena grins, "aright, you hungry? let's go have some pollo con ajo."

"here you go, lotta." lydia hands her a plate of food. "gracias, señora." carlotta thanked lydia. "ahh, tu hablas español?" lydia asked, quite impressed. "yeah." carlotta dug in. "i like your friend." lydia looks at elena. "you didn't have to say 'friend' like that, abuelita." elena scoffed. "hi, guys." penelope walks through the front door. "hi, mami. how was your day?" elena glances at her. "hello, ms. alvarez." carlotta takes a sip of water. "hey, ladies." penelope walked up to them. "ooh, anyway. lotta, how was your first day?" penelope sat down with them as she grabs a plate. "could've been better." carlotta shrugged. elena's hand somehow found its way to carlotta's ; she squeezes it comfortingly, "mami, she got an anxiety attack during homeroom." "that's terrible." penelope gasps, "did you talk to your mom about this?" "no, not yet. i'm gonna talk to her later when she gets home from work." carlotta continues to eat, "but thanks to elena telling me what those 'episodes' are, i know i'm crazy and not alone." "good, that's good. good job, baby." penelope looks at elena, proud, "and lotta, that is something you don't need to be ashamed of. if you ever need to see somebody, elena you too, i've told you this. maybe you ladies can go together or something." "thanks, ms. alvarez." carlotta's lips curled into a small smile. "oh, no problem, baby." penelope pretty obviously adored her, "you're so sweet." "elena, why are you holding lotta's hand under the table?" lydia teased. elena's jumps slightly, abruptly letting go of her hand. penelope peeks, but they've already let go. she chuckles, "i'm sorry. ignore her abuelita."

— * —

after they had lunch, elena and carlotta were back in her room. this time, to do their homework. "okay...you have been looking at that question for the past five minutes." elena stopped doing her work, "do you need help?" "sorry, i'm not good at math." carlotta was getting frustrated with herself. "well, i can help you with it. don't worry, alright? everybody's good at different things." elena calmed her down and took a look at the question. "elena!" penelope opens the door suddenly, "i said- door open at all times." "sorry. we're just doing homework." carlotta spoke, "i accidentally closed the door." "oh, it's okay." penelope shrugged, grinning cheekily. "mami, we really aren't doing anything." elena added on. "i know." penelope nods, "oh yeah, your mom called and said she'll be home late, mija." "oh." carlotta responded sadly, "okay. thanks for letting me know." "alright, you two be good and finish up your work then you can go do whatever." penelope told them. "man, alex better be on his way home." penelope grumbles as she walked away. "wow, today has been a whole bunch of scares." carlotta manages to finish up the question on her own and moved on to the next one. "your mom works late a lot?" elena asks, deciding to take a little break. "yeah. it's always been this way and i'm always alone at home if my brother has plans with his friends. i mean, he obviously does. and i have no friends- you're my only friend. maybe alex too, but like, i don't know. his friend tried to hit me up earlier." carlotta rambled. "yeah." elena says after a few seconds, "yeah. we're...friends."

— * —

published: sunday, 6 september 2020

edited: monday, 19 september 2022