BRICK by BRICK

chapter 6

I can't believe i agreed to that stupid request of Xiad but what could i have done. I can't risk my mom knowing about my recent "adventures"
I almost don't feel myself ruminate in the bathtub. I quickly get out and start applying lotion on my delicate dark skin. I take out my math book and start scanning through the pages to see if there's anything I could register before the big test i wasn't looking forward to. I probably know everything by head but if i do bad in this test, I might find myself on the next bus to boarding school.

After hairdrying, I quickly grab a few books and walk downstairs. I'm so lost in the X' s and Y's in my math book that I almost don't notice everyone sitting at the dinner table. I look up and i can see the confusion on my mom's face.  I guess she hasn't seen me holding a book in a really long time. I just choose to not acknowledge the weird stares and quickly wave everyone goodbye as I walk out the door. I normally wouldn't wave but right now I need to be as kind as possible so that even when they find out about what happened, they are not as angry.

I enter the school bus and i immediately head for Xiad's usual seat and sit next to him. I need him to see that I'm working as hard as I can to make sure I pass that stupid test.
Every time he attempts to say something, I just hold my book up as an indication that I'm busy. I'm very good at multitasking but it's the punishment he gets for making me do something like this.

We have arrived at school and Xiad offers to carry my bag, I just nod and head for the door. The last thing I need is an argument about bags. " I hope you're ready Miss Jacobs" Xiad says with a smirk. "Well I don't really have much of a choice, do I? I reply .
"No, no you don't " Xiad says and we both break into a laugh.

We walk together to class and i try my best to avoid small talk as much as possible. We get to the class and I'm relieved Xiad didn't ask me about the kiss. I really don't want to talk about it.

"Mam, we have a new alpha maths candidate, Resmee Jacobs" Xiad says to the teacher. "Oh, hello miss Jacobs, I'm glad you have decided to join us. Alpha Maths is not for the faint hearted. We will be writing a test this afternoon and if you qualify, you'll move on to the next round." Next round? Xiad didn't tell me anything about a next round! I look at him furiously but instead he just pretends to be looking for something in his pencil case. I swear this boy will be the end of me! I just nod at Mrs Kortz and quickly head for my seat.

I've just spent my day practicing a few sums during break and during free periods with the help of Xiad of course. I didn't know he was a maths genie.

I get to the hall where the test will be held and it's only now that the bile in my throat starts rising up. I've never been one to fear tests but with this one, the stakes are high. I find a seat at the back and Xiad joins the one right next to mine which he wouldn't usually do since he seldom sits at the back.

We are handed the test papers and i quickly scan through it. Wow, this is really easy i think to myself. I hadn't done alpha maths at my previous school but i was always number 1 especially when it came to Mathematics. I finish the paper faster than I thought I would and i am more that relieved the test wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. It means i can now confidently say I am out of the woods. YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES REMAINING " I hear the tall, muscular invigilator call out. He must be a teacher here at the school but I'm new so i haven't really familirized myself with all the teachers.

"YOUR TIME IS UP, PENS DOWN." I hear him call out again. After handing in our tests, we all head out of the hall. I notice Anna speaking to one of the teachers. Definitely the teachers' pet type. My type but not anymore. "So how was it?... I mean the test" Xiad says. "It wasn't that bad, I guess" I reply. "Well I hope you did your best because if not...." Xiad says  " yea, I know, I know!" I say while rolling my  eyes. "Okay bye! See you tomorrow in the bus" Xiad says. "Bye" I say while waving.

I get home and the first thing I do when i get in my bedroom is reach for my diary. I need to write a poem or two to feel better.

"I keep them inside
Abnegation, I fear
So I keep them inside

This coldness may seem ostensible
And for that I am contrite
At times i seem finical
But it's my heart i try to protect

Feelings of love, I extirpate
I know this makes me seem impassive
It's heartbreak, I fear
So I keep them inside

You may think I'm impregnable
But I've been hurt
I've been hurt, so many times

I know my words belauguer you
I want them to scar you
So you don't look back

"Set me free" I hear my heart plead
Oh, but Dear, they'll make you bleed

I keep them inside
Deep inside
Where they were born! "

As I finish the last line, I realise how much the poem i have just written relates to Xiad. Maybe I should name it "Philophobia"

I'm so sorry I haven't been posting lately. I've been busy with some other projects. This chapter includes a poem of mine which can also be found on my profile. Please check it out and the other amazing ones there.

XXxX.