"Every time I try to seek an opportunity to be the better version of who I am, someone would tell me I am not good enough or they were wrong about me. How would I win the best out of life when I feel that I am losing quickly and surely? And now it was as if there were magma inside me, waiting to flow from my mouth and eyes, yet I am shivering. I am not angry, but I feel disappointed. I never masked myself as someone who has figured out life, and I wish I did."
"There's no shortcut to happiness. So is success."
"But if you have one thing you are really good at, that's a ticket. If you're blessed with the mind of a scientist or a philosopher, that's a ticket. If you have gone through the long journey of academia, that's also a ticket. If you have all the wealth to splurge, that's a ticket. And what's mine?"
"You are creative."
"Creative? And that would bring me?"
"Stories, songs—"
"I'm not even the best at doing them. I just know how to create them. They call me the 'jack of all trades, master of none,' but who am I kidding? That phrase is entirely different from who I am—a three of clubs, perhaps."
"You have a lot of envy . . . and pride within you."
"Yes, envy of people who have figured it out. Envy of people who have not figured it out but are at least coping with whatever they have. Pride, yes, because people expect a lot from me, and I do not wish to disappoint them. "
"Of course, of course. You want to please everyone, except yourself."
YOU ARE READING
Midnight Monologues
General FictionShe is known as the writer who creates stories about how the concept of love is formulated, explored, and ultimately destroyed by her protagonist, borne out of their relationship with another character. What is not known by many is how much she has...
