My Online Diary

September 2, 2020

Hi...long time so see.

A lot has changed over the year. I got pregnant, had said baby(cute little boy), I feel like I met the love of my life but I think he feels differently.

I think he's cheating on me. He's distant, when I go near him and he's on his phone he puts it down or turns it from me, let's not forgot that he went to his friends house(who lives 2 minutes away) to help move furniture....5 hours ago.
I hope it isn't true, but I feel like it is and I've always been told to trust my gut feeling.

I think I'm pregnant, though I don't know how because I'm on birth control and we use condoms, as well as barely have sex(once a month if that) all 6 tests say negative but my period is late and idk if I feel nauseated because I'm terrified of getting pregnant again or if I'm pregnant.

I started taking 3000mg of vitamin c today because I heard that if you take that amount for three days straight it induces your period(and if pregnant will cause miscarriage)

Call me a horrible human but we are financially stable for just us three, we have been taking every precaution within our sex lives(besides not having sex but stfu because it's normal and natural to have sex)
If I'm pregnant, I won't be sad if I miscary, if I'm not then I hope my period comes soon.

That's all. I'm going to try to be more active because PPA/PPD is kicking my ass and I have nobody to talk to. 

Thank you guys for listening:)