A Snow Queen's Tale- a Frozen Fanfiction

Chapter 36: Thunderstorm Blues

👑Iduna's Pov👑
           My eyes flew open as the loud report of thunder echoed over the harbor. It was followed almost immediately by a flash of lightning and another impossibly loud crack that boomed and reverberated against the castle walls and windows. Thunderstorms were rare in Arendelle, even in the summer, but when a squall brewed, they were spectacular displays of nature. I watched as another bolt illuminated the night sky and the rain began to pelt the windows.
           Next to me, Agnarr stirred in his sleep. I felt him turn towards me and his hand slid across my stomach as he hooked my waist in a practiced motion. He nuzzled the side of my neck as I brought my arm around the crown of his head to absent-mindedly play with his tousled hair. He mumbled something I couldn't quite make out, possibly my name, before he stilled and his breathing went even. She smiled and rested her cheek against him. There had been a time where he had joked that she could sleep through Ragnarok while he would wake at the sound of sunlight hitting the window or dust settling from the ceiling.
           That had changed since things in our family had changed several weeks prior.  Since Anna had been injured while the girls were playing.  Since the trolls had shown us a horrifying vision of Elsa being murdered by a mob.  I shivered at the memory.  It reminded me too much of the violence against the Northuldra unlucky enough to be trapped outside the Mist.  Since that fateful night, it was as though I was fourteen once more and a newly arrived refugee – unable to sleep for all the nightmares, spooked awake at the slightest disturbance.  The difference was that now I was terrified not what would become of me, but what would become of my daughters.  Sometimes I felt I couldn't breathe for the terror.
Agnarr, on the other hand, was drained from the ordeal of reassigning or outright finding new employment for beloved staff members he had known his entire life. Trying to balance ruling the kingdom while suddenly cut off from his people, keeping track of which lies they had discreetly leaked to explain their abrupt isolation, and guiding Elsa as she worked to manage her powers which had never been beyond her control before, had left him utterly exhausted. Iduna's new nighttime routine involved begging him to leave his desk and come to bed and then watching him collapse straight into sleep.
           I closed my eyes as I listened to the storm rage on.  Despite the noise and the fury, Agnarr's heavy warmth against me was reassuring and his rhythmic breathing was beginning to lull me back to sleep.  I could feel the steady beat of his heart against my side as I stroked his hair.  The thunder sounded more distant now, the rain a soothing staccato in the background as I started to drift off.
           "Mama!"  I jolted up at the shriek as the door flew open.  "Mama!  Papa!"
           "Wuzzat?"  Agnarr groggily rose on his elbow as Anna leapt on to the end of their bed.  Another peal of thunder rolled over the harbor.  "Anna?"  He grunted as Anna threw herself at his chest hard enough to knock him back against the pillows.  She grabbed him with one hand and me with another.
        "Anna, are you alright?"
        "The storm!"  Anna sobbed.  "It woke me up and it was so scary!"
           "Oh, Anna," Agnarr sighed as he rubbed Anna's back and glanced over at her.  I stroked my daughter's cheek to wipe the tears away.  "There's nothing to be scared of.  It's just a thunderstorm."

           "Yes there is!  It is scary!  It's loud and scary!"  Anna banged her little fist against the mattress.  "It woke me up!  And Elsa wasn't there, Mama."  She started to cry harder.  "Whenever there's been a storm, she's always there.  She makes it not scary.  Elsa isn't afraid of anything!  But now she's not there.  And I banged on her door crying and she wouldn't open the door.  She told me to find you."
           I felt a pang in my chest at the words and could see the heartbreak in Agnarr's eyes as we exchange a look over Anna.  "Darling," I murmured as I pulled Anna close and settled back against the bed.  Agnarr did the same, continuing to rub Anna's back.  We let her weep and soothed her with soft reassurances until her heaving sobs were reduced to sniffles.
           "Would a snuggle sandwich make you feel better?"  I asked.  Anna pouted, but nodded fervently.
           "Snuggles!"  Me and Agnarr both cuddled against Anna's sides as she let out a watery giggle. Agnarr wrapped his arm around both Anna and me, pulling us close, while I tucked my arm between Anna's back and Agnarr's chest.  We cuddled close like that for a few minutes as the thunder faded further away and Anna's sniffles slowly stopped.
           "Feeling better?"  Agnarr yawned.  Anna nodded and then flinched at the dull roar of the distant thunder.
           "Yeah, but it's still loud and scary."
           "You know, it's not so scary if you play the counting game," he said.  "You count the number of seconds from when you see the lightning to when you hear the boom."
           "I know that game."  Anna looked up at him.  "Elsa taught me that.  We used to play it when there was a storm."  I smiled.  I remembered when Agnarr had taught that to Elsa, years before when Anna was still a baby, and she had come running into their bed like this at the sound of thunder.  It warmed my heart to know she had shared that with her sister.
           "Do you want to play it now?"
           "Yeah."  We waited for the next flash and when it happened, we counted together to ten before the dull boom reached them.  A few minutes later, Anna was asleep and snoring heavily in their arms.  Agnarr gently rolled off the bed and silently lowered himself to the floor.
           "I'm going to check on Elsa," he whispered as he quietly padded towards the door.  I nodded as Anna let out a loud snuffle and rolled into her chest, clinging to her nightgown.  He returned a few minutes later, looking defeated even in the darkness.
           "She says that she's fine," he said softly as he slipped next to Anna.  "That the storm didn't bother her and she isn't scared of the thunder.  She just wanted to know that Anna was alright."
           "What did you tell her?"
           "That Anna was with us.  That I was proud she taught her about the counting game."  He sighed. "I didn't say anything, but it was like there was a draft in her room.  Almost like when you walk past an ice house in the summer."  He sighed again and turned towards me.  "I told her she did the right thing by sending Anna to us."
           I nodded sadly and kissed Anna's head.
           "I think that made her feel better."
           "I hope so.  Should I go talk to her?"
           "No, she was trying to go back to sleep.  In the morning, though."
           "Of course."  I reached out and rubbed his shoulder.  "It's so hard keeping them apart."
           "It is.  I don't know how much longer either of them can bear it.  I don't know how long I can."
           "I know.  It hurts me too, Agnarr."  I caressed his cheek.  "But as you said, this is the best we can do to keep them safe right now.  It won't be forever."  He took my hand in his and pressed a kiss into my palm.  I sighed as I thought of Elsa, alone in her room, and wondered if the cold was from the fear of the storm or her fear that she would hurt Anna.  Anna had never come running to their room during a storm before and i had just assumed that she slept too heavily to be disturbed by the thunder. 
           It was just another bittersweet discovery of the secrets the sisters had kept from their parents.  I was learning these small details as more and more time passed – everything from how Anna had depended on Elsa to tie and buckle her shoes to how Elsa had depended on Anna to tell her the names of visitors to the castle.  Not that there were any of those lately. 

           The guilt was worst when Anna would stop in the middle of telling a story.  Watching her search her memory and then shake her head in confusion as she failed to remember what game she had been playing with her sister or exactly where she had built a snowman or gone ice skating or acted out their games with figures crafted from snow.  Once, me and Agnarr had found Anna just staring vacantly in the ballroom – upset, but uncertain why she was upset.
           I kissed Anna's forehead and looked sadly at Agnarr.  "I wish this was something I could heal with a poultice.  Or a tonic."
           "I know."  He kissed my palm again.  "I do too."
           They settled back down against the bed to wait for sleep as the thunder continued to slowly drift away.