Miss Americana // The Beatles

Chapter 24

The bartender recognized  me from the  gigs I used to do, "Sasha McCartney! I haven't seen you  around here in  ages! You still play music?"

"No, actually, I don't do that anymore," I replied. I really didn't want to talk about this.

He frowned, "It's a shame. I thought you were really talented. I suppose you're not with that fellow in this band anymore."

That hurt, "No."

I  grabbed my drinks and  didn't say anything to him as he told me to have a  good night. That  was the first time anyone else other than close  friends has asked me  about John, and considering it was a little over a  year since our messy  break up, it hurt more than I think it should have.

I  sat down with our  drinks and prayed for the show to be over soon, but  then I would have  to be inches away from John. I didn't know if I could  handle it.

When the boys were done,  I led Mr. Epstein backstage to  meet the Beatles. When we walked into  the room, John kept his back to  me. Paul must have warned him that I  was coming. Paul turned and ran to  give me a tight embrace.

"Everything will be okay. Just look at me," he whispered before pulling away.

Paul  made the boys line  up to face me and Mr. Epstein. I kept my eyes locked  on Paul, but I  could feel John's eyes tearing into me as soon as he  turned around. I  knew he wanted me to look at him, but I wasn't going to  do it.

George smiled, confidently saying, "And what brings Mr. Epstein here?"

I kept my eyes on Paul,  "Boys, this is my manager at NEMS  Record store, Mr. Brian Epstein. He's  interested in managing your band,"  I turned to Mr. Epstein, "This is  my brother Paul McCartney."

I  was doing well so  far, but now for the difficult part. I took a deep  breath, "This is  John Lennon," I looked at the floor as I introduced  him.

He stuck his hand out to  shake Mr. Epstein's hand. I  instinctively flinched when his hand came  so close to me. He dropped it  to his side again.

I continued to introduce the other two, "This is George Harrison and Pete Best."

"Well,  it's certainly  nice to meet you all," Mr. Epstein said, "I am truly  struck by your  talent and personal charm. We will need to set up a  meeting if you are  interested in me being your manager. I believe I  could get the  recognition this band deserves."

"It sounds great," John spoke, and his voice sent shivers down my spine, "We can meet day after tomorrow."

"Perfect," Mr. Epstein replied, "Sasha, thanks for introducing me to the band. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

Mr.  Epstein went on his  way. I looked up to find young George staring at  me, and I still felt  John's eyes on me as well. George was always the  youngest, and the  member that I never got really close to, mainly  because I was with John  and Stu most of the time. His staring made me  uncomfortable, so I  began to look around awkwardly.

Within a split  second,  my eyes jerked the wrong way and locked with John's. My whole  world  stopped. His eyes were pleading, and mine probably looked afraid. I   couldn't believe that I was inches from John, looking in to those hazel   eyes with tiny specs of green. They weren't the cold eyes that I left   in Hamburg. They were the eyes of my John, soft and pleading.

I  felt tears surface  and choked as I tried to speak. I clamped my hand  over my mouth and ran  from the boys to the stairs to get out of here.

"Sasha!" I heard John call my name. His voice sounded good saying my name, and I had missed it, but I just had to run.

I  got outside in the  cold air. My breathing was heavy, and my heart was  racing. A hand  grabbed my shoulder. I jumped and turned around to face  Paul.